Love & Romance

He's Always in My Mind

I love my classmate to death and i have a feeling that he loves me too.
I always spot him looking at me and smiling in a lovely way, but he haven't told me yet if he loves me or not. I'm sure he knows that i love him.
What can i do to have him and to be with him? Because of our culture i cant tell him directly that i love him, but he is always on my mind.
What should i do to have love relation with him???

yasna

Answer:

]]> Dear Yasna,

You don't have to do anything to be with this guy.
Just be yourself, hang out with him when there's a chance and things will come naturally.
Don't concentrate on wanting to be in a love relationship with him, just take it slow and be friends with him. If there's a future for the both of you, love will come on the way and it will bloom without having to put too much of an effort.
Take things easy and enjoy your time with him. Don't worry too much about 'love'.

I'm Married and He's Engaged!

I'm a 25-year-old married lady. I never dated before getting married and i've never really fallen in love, well maybe once!
I love my husband but i can't forget my past love .. I regret that i couldn't break the chains and just love and be loved .. now it's too late .. I'm married and he's engaged!!!

Deema

Answer:

]]> Dear Deema,

When you decided to get married and be with your husband in sickness and in health and in sweet days and sad ones, you put your past behind you.
I think you should just concentrate on your husband, who loves you, and allow yourself to be free and be loved!

Is Everyone Just Wrong About Us?

I have been best friends with a guy for almost 4 years now. I love him to death and i know that i can't live without him. I've tried.
When we first met, we grew on each other fast. We both secretly had something for each other. I told him i liked him and he said he didn't see me like that and didn't want to mess up our friendship. He later came to confess that he had always had feeling for me and that if we would have tried it out we would have been together. Nothing happened for about 6 months. Then i had my first real kiss and it was with him!
June through January we had something, we were best friends and a bit more.

More interesting details after the jump ...

]]> We started getting into fight about lots of things and we stopped everything on my birthday last year. We promised to just be best friends again and it was like that for a while until he got a girlfriend. She didn't like me so we ended up not talking for about 7 month.
During that time, i only saw him about 4 times in which we didn't really talk. We say hi and go our separate ways. I missed him a lot but i got used to it.

About 2 months ago i felt like i didn't have anyone. A lot had changed and i didn't know what to do and he was the only person on my mind. I ended up contacting him and we talked and fixed a lot of things that should have never gone wrong in the first place. It took a little time but we are best friends again and i can't imagine my life with out him.
He was the first one to say "i love you" to me when we got our friendship back but it was so hard for me to say it to him since i don't trust a lot of people. I ended up saying it to him about two weeks after he first said it but i was still scared. Now every thing's great.
He's the first person i talk to everyday and the last one i talk to every night. We always say i love you before we hang up the phone or when we are leaving each others' houses.

My parents adore him and his family adores me. We see each other on a daily bases and are always together. Everyone is always asking us if we are more that just best friends but we always laugh and say 'Na, we're just best friends'.
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, which for me is NEVER good!
Everyone is putting thoughts into my head. Recently something happened to me and he's been the only one out of my so called best friends that has been with me every single day. The other day we we're falling asleep on my bed and we're kind on and off holding hands. Then when he woke up he put his arms around me, kissed me on the forehead and said we should get up. That was my breaking point! Now i don't know what to think. Does he have something for me? What should i do? I really don't want to mess up our friendship again!

Everyone keeps telling me we are perfect for each other and that we that we act as if we were together. Everyone says we belong together and we are gonna get married one day. I don't think that so, since it didn't work out in the past.
Are we just best friends or is there something more to this than what it seems?
HELP PLEASE!

Confused One

Answer:

Dear Confused One:

You are in a sticky situation!
There's a lot of difference between being best friends and being more than that.
It's not always true that if you're perfect as best friends, you'll be a perfect husband and wife. When you start getting too intimate, things change sometimes. Maybe that's the case with you and your guy.
You should have a serious talk with your guy, ask him if he thinks things would work out between you on a serious level. See what he has to say ... if he doesn't think so, then don't be rash and lose him as a friend. You'll at least know what he's thinking and can act from there.
If he thinks it's worth another try, then go for it and see what happens.
Don't be confused! Take it easy, always breathe and think positively.

Why Does He Lead Me On?

I've been talking with this guy that i met online on and off now for about a few years.
He's been trying to get me to meet him, but I've been hesitant about it because of insecurities. Well, we just started talking again and he tells me that he wants to get married and have children with me and that he's ready to get our relationship started. I'm ready to
see him now, but it worries me because he doesn't really call me. I'm the one who has to contact him!
I've confronted him about the situation and he apologizes but never seems to do what he says he's going to do. Why does he tell me that he likes me and cares about me and then ignores me? Why lead me on? Should i forget about him and move on?

Chandra

Answer:

]]> Dear Chandra,

It doesn't sound to me like a thing that's going to work!
Usually Internet relationships are a flop! Only in some very rare cases do they work, and only after the two meet face to face and spend some time together, to get to know each other in person.
You said it yourself: he doesn't contact you, he doesn't do what he says he'll do and you're hesitant! If you're not 100% sure, then don't! As long as you're hesitant, then it's not going to work.
Be tough and let him go. You'll find Mr. Right when the time is right.
Good Luck!

He Hardly Shows Me Affection!

I just recently got married (2 months ago) and my husband says he loves me and he buys me stuff all the time but he hardly ever kisses me or holds me or hugs me, he hardly shows me affection!

What does this mean?

Sara

Never Dated My Best Friend!

I have the most amazing friend in the world. She has helped me in my life like no other person. Let me first start with our history. We met at work almost 8 years ago. She approached me which was such a surprise. We immediately clicked. Then I found out that she was engaged. No big deal but I did let her know my feelings up front and that her happiness was what was most important to me. After 6 years she has gotten a divorce and i have been the step by step. There isn't a thing that we don�t know about each other and her family loves me as I do them. We spend some holidays together and talk on a daily basis.

I have never had my chance to try and date her cause she says now that she does not see me in that way but when i have someone else that take time from us it makes her jealous. It seems she wants me there but not totally. I am so confused with the situation that i am miserable on a daily basis. I have as some people for advice and even tried reading some articles but it seems they all say that i need to walk away from the situation but how do you walk away from a person that means that much to you. Does it mean our friendship was a lie from the start?

]]> I want to move on but I also don't want to lose her forever. I feel if I had someone in my life maybe i would not focus so much on her and we could be the dynamic friends we have always been. I am so confused!!!!

Thank you for any advice you guys give.

By Pedro

Answer:

Dear Pedro,

You two seem to share a very special friendship which many would envy. You have been through so much together and you are to be commended for being there for her whenever she needed you.

Your feelings for her seem to cause you so much angst because you say she does not share your feelings. The fact that she gets upset whenever you spend time with someone else does not mean she loves you in that way. Many of us have been known to become possessive of really good friends, where feelings of jealousy creep in; We get afraid of losing the close friendship. I think this is what could be happening here, she has gotten so used to you as her emotional crutch and being at her beck and call.

She could also be afraid of rocking the boat and ruining the friendship. I suggest you tell her about your feelings again and discuss the possibility of trying for something more than friendship, and see where you go from there. If her answer is no, you have two choices; Either accept the friendship and try to find someone else who will return your feelings, or if you cannot walk away like you were advised many times.

"I feel if i had
someone in my life maybe i would not focus so much on her and we could be
the dynamic friends we have always been"
You said yourself!!!

Good luck

Sil

I Want Him Back!

I'm in love with a guy, who is currently studying abroad. We were together for 1 year then we broke up. -that was 7 months ago-
Although i contacted him again and told him exactly how i feel about him and that i've missed him alot, he has a girlfriend now.
I want to get back together with him and i want to marry him!
Our relationship was great, it was fun, we loved each other, we used to see each other and hang out together 6 days a week!
He'll be back in December and i don't know what i should do to get him back!
I'm not sure, does he still love me or has he gotten over me!
He's the one I've been looking for ... i don't want to let him go!

By Victoria

Answer:

]]> Dear Victoria,

You're stuck in the past! Get over the guy! He has a new girlfriend and that should mean something to you!
What makes things worse is that you're not sure about anything! But the guy told you that he doesn't have any more feelings for you .. believe him and get on with your life!
Find a new guy ... there must be a load of guys that would love to hang out with you.
If you let something go, you cannot change your mind and want it back and end of problem!
Things in life don't always go as you wish ... you know that, no?
So, move on ... start over and let the past be the past!

Good Luck.

I am Very Worried

My BF is in a military school. He never calls me or emails me. He asked me to wait for him, but I didn't expect to be placed in a closet & be forgotten about. I know he is very busy, but I don't know what to do. I truly am in love with this guy & I feel he feels the same. We liked each other for 2 years before he asked me out, then 30 days later his parents sent him away.
We knew it was going to happen. I just don't understand why ?? he doesn't email me. His excuse is he is 2 busy w/ school which may be true. I wanted to go with him to his homecoming but he hasn't brought it up. He came home for a 36hr leave but never got to see me, he wanted to relax & sleep. is that normal?

My friends all tell me to forget about him, but I can't !
During the last 2 years I had a few BF's, none of them made me happy inside. He does... He has never had a GF (known fact) he said its because he has been in love w/me for the last 2 yrs.

What can I do am I over reacting? help !!

By Brittney

Answer:

]]> Dear Brittney,

You asked the question yourself:

"is that normal?"

NO, it is not normal that he would want to come home, do nothing but sleep and not want to see you. I gather you have talked to him about. How busy can he be to write you an email every now and then?!

Talk to him, and this time to tell him that you NOT happy with the situation. How happy can he make you inside if you do not feel secure in the relationship. I wonder if your boyfriendship has issues to deal with at school or at home?? The only thing available to you is talking to him; Find out what is truly going on.
If the situation does not improve and he does not pay you the attention you need and deserve, your only outlet is to cut your losses and walk away. The more we let people take us for granted, the more they will.

Sil

Why He Doesn't Call Me As He Used To?

I'm in love with a guy, who is currently furthering his studies abroad. We met when he came on vacation more than one year ago. Everything was so sweet and the relationship was so much fun, even when he got back. The problem started 3 months after he got back. He doesn't call often; his emails are now minimal, stopped calling me on special occasions. He didn't cal me on valentine day, my birthday etc. When I complain, he will give excuses and apologize but it still continues. There was a time when I wanted to end the relationship, but he begged me not do so and yet still he hasn't change.
He also promised to get back to me last July but he didn't come at all. Now I don't know what to do, please help me.

By FM

Answer:

]]> Dear FM,

Unfortunately distance can and in most cases is harmful to the relationship, both partners have to put in 100% for it to work it out. You do not have many options, one of them is to continue with the relationship as it is and another is to just dump him.
It is obvious that your made your unhappiness clear to him and yet he still continues with his behavior.
Otherwise again I would give the advice of talking to him. You call him and make your feelings and worries clear and be firm. Tell him that now you will end the relationship for good if he does not explain exactly what is going on and gives you valid reasons for his behavior. If you do not want to call him, just wait until he comes for his next vacation.
If the situation does not improve, you either put up or I would suggest that you do end the relationship.

I do hope you will work it out between you two; Communication is the key.

Sil.

A guy with a girlfriend is a 'No No'!

I am a very popular student at school, and I try to be nice and sweet to everyone.
I like this football player and i have a feeling that he likes me too.
But the thing is, he already has a girlfriend. She is very ugly and nasty, and i don't like her!
I always spot him looking at me and when I'm with my 'guy' friends, he tries to make me jealous.
I'm not usually shy around guys, but he is the only one i get tongue-tied around!
Help me!

meshoo

Answer:

]]> Dear meshoo,

Usually the rule is, any guy with a girlfriend is a 'No No'!
The only thing you can do is to try and release yourself from the 'tongue-tied' spell and talk to the guy!
Simply, make friends with him ... hang around him and be yourself.
It's up to fate only ... he might like you more, dump the other girl -sorry about the terminology!- and ask you to be his girlfriend! But, it's up to fate!
If you get the idea of trying too hard, things might blow up in your face!
Oh! Remember, you don't want an ugly, nasty girl following you with the intent of revenge!

I Love A Girl Who Has Boyfriend

I love a girl who has boyfriend. I've tried my best to show her that I'm deeply in love with her but I'm sure I have failed. She is always very nice and kind to me and she gives me compliments all the time. We are class mates and also neighbors, but the problem doesn't end here, we have a mutual friend who I think likes me. Everything is just so twisted.

I'm not really a shy person who can't talk to girls, but the problem is that we are going to have many classes and projects together, and if I talk to her and find out that she doesn't like me, then our professional relationship is going to be very awkward; I'd rather to see that beautiful smile on her face whenever she sees me than taking the risk of talking to her and ruining everything.

]]> Plus I don't want anybody to get hurt because of me; I'm talking about her boyfriend.
Her birthday is coming up, and I was thinking maybe I should buy her something that expresses my feelings for her; maybe a book, but I really don't know what kind of book.
What should I do? I'm so confused, I can't do anything, I've been thinking about her every second of my life for the last four months.

Mehran

Answer:

Dear Merhan,

You said yourself that you tried your best to convey your feelings to her, but she did not seem to notice. You either didn't try hard enough, or she did not want to understand and the latter says a lot.

The best way not to have a bad run with girls is to chose girls who are emotionally available... If I were you, I would try and build a relationship with the girl that likes you and is unattached.

However if you really want to express your feelings to your friend, ask her how she feels about her boyfriend. If she feels strongly about the relationship, and tells you how much she loves him, then forget about it. If her response is vague, you may go for conveying your true feelings.

Lastly let me tell u that one of the guaranteed ways for setting yourself up for a fall is to horn in on someone else's territory.

Sincerely,
Sil.

My Little Sister Never Had a Boyfriend!

My little sister is 13 and she had never had a boyfriend, is that bad?
Wait she also thinks she is ugly, what should she do?

Jannic

Answer:

]]> Dear Jannic26,

Your sister is very young so it is not a bad thing if she didn't have a boyfriend yet. She is only 13 so there is plenty of time to worry about relationships and what they entail from emotional angst.

I would deal with her self esteem issue; At her age, it is normal to be riddled with insecurities especially these days.
Be a supportive sibling by building her confidence and cheering her on into being the best she can be in all walks of life. Encourage her to join a gym or do whatever it takes to help her body image. Advice your sister to try and do her best in school as well as developing other interests and hobbies. Your young sister should know that confident is beautiful, intelligent is beautiful, successful is beautiful; It is not all about looks.

From then on with enough confidence in herself, she will attract attention. There is nothing like the magic of self-esteem to draw people to you like a magnet.

Good luck.
Sil.

I Love My Classmate

I love my classmate so much to death and we sometimes studied together and stuff. I didn't express my love to her but I love her so much and i don't know if she loves me too (I mean we studied together alone in my room!) and she's in Alex and I am in Cairo.

Does she love me? Do we have a chance of meeting?

Draiter

Answer:

]]> Dear Draiter,

The best way to know for sure if she loves you is to ask her directly about her feelings; I encourage you to inform her of your love for her and inquire about how she views a potential relationship between you two.

Long distance relationships are hard work but if you put in the effort, you can make it work. The good thing is that you live in the same country, so there is ofcourse every chance that you can meet.

You have nothing to lose by asking her about her feelings; You never know she could be feeling the same right now and does not know how to tell you either.

Good luck,
Sil.

Family & Culture Come First

Hi, I'm kapil from from India. I love a girl, named Manisha, but i could not tell her till date, as i was busy with my business setup, today i'm still working hard for my business to grow, so that i propose more confidently, but in mean time she got engaged with the guy and her family is planning to marry her in this October or November. I care a lot for her, but if i propose her now, our family relationship may go bad. I don't want to interfere and make her unhappy by taking any wrong step.

I love her a lot, but my mind is binded with my culture and my feelings for her. I don't want to hurt her; but i want her to know I have some feelings for her.
What should I do?

By Kapil

Answer:

]]> Dear Kapil,

Unfortunately I believe that you left it too late. I would not rock the boat; By telling her now you risk losing a lot. You mentioned yourself the risks including family ties, and your culture which would frown upon any potential relationship between you two given that she was engaged.

Why do you want to tell her anyway? how do you know she would appreciate your honesty? She is engaged after all, so there is a big chance that she loves her fiancee. You will be causing both of you unnecessary confusion and emotional angst.

If you are prepared to gain the wrath of society and you believe that she may share your feelings, then tell her. However I would advice you not to, love comes and goes; We believe ourselves in love one day to discover in the future that it was all a delusion. Do not forget that time does help us forget eventually. Distance yourself from her and be happy for her impending marriage.

You mentioned that you are still busy with your business, so concentrate on that until you find a more suitable and unattached partner. You will be happier with someone that does not carry unneeded baggage.

Sincerely,
Sil

Tired or Not in a Very Good Mood!

Me and my fiance has been together going on 8 years we've split up for 7 months after our son was born i am 22 and he's 24 but he has never been affectionate only when he wants to have sex or sucking up about something we have been through a lot together, I love him very much and i like to be affectionate and we fight a lot about why he isn't... he always says he's to tired or not in a very good mood the 1st 2 years he was great i know it's confusing but if you know that he truly cares for you and loves you don't sweat it not all guys are affectionate they have a hard time showing it.

By Stephanie

]]> Answer:

It could be that he is so comfortable in the relationship and certain of your love, he no longer feels the need to put in an effort, especially since your relationship has been going on for eight years. You are now over the honeymoon period which you say lasted for two years. The fact about him showing affection only when he wants something means he is taking you for granted and not showing you the respect you need.

You have been teenage sweethearts who are now parents, and that can change the relationship bringing in many responsibilities. Your son is your main priority right now, and for his own stability you need to have a trusting and strong relationship. He needs a happy mother secure in the love and loyalty of her partner.

You stated that you have talked to him about it. Did you relate your feelings and worries clearly in a calm manner, without getting emotional? If not I suggest you do so without sounding too needy and possessive. By clinging too much you will succeed in further pushing him away.

You could also talk to a relationship counsellor, not necessarily together. You could go alone explaining your main misgivings about the relationship. It can be quite helpful as well as seeking the advice of close people that know you both and have a clear idea about your relationship.

Good luck.
Sil