I'm crazy in love with my colleague, but she has a boyfriend! She likes me as a friend! She always ask support from me and says sweet things to me. I just can't take it anymore! I changed my job! Spent a year trying not to think about her! Threw away all possibilities to contact her. People asked me to love someone else! I failed!
One day i came across her while driving! That was when everything came back to me and i felt this strange thing in the stomach! Then she contacted me ! I tried to be severe by rejecting her! I failed! She's experiencing a difficult period so I'm back to supporting her for the last 9 months through messenger even though we are in the same city! I always refuse to contact her because I love her and don't want to hurt her! But I love her and she likes me as a friend. I wish I can be a friend but I love her and just can't forget her!! Help me I'm in a bad mood!!
FedUp
Answer:
Dear FedUp:
It seems you are very much aware that her interest in you is only for 'Friendship'.
That says it all! If you love her, you'll do what makes her feel good, not what will make you feel better!
Be her friend, help her and support her, but don't go further.
If you put your mind to forgetting your feelings for her, you will manage to do just that!
Remember that sometimes being more than friends will ruin your friendship!
On the other hand, if you're 100% sure that you won't be able to put aside your feelings for her, then i suggest you do something drastic and cut all communications with her!
If she's only interested in friendship, that won't ever change! You can't force her to love you!
Good Luck!
comments
how u can be that much sure of her feeling!!! just take risk tell her n talk to her about ur inner feeling ,open up ur heart.then u will feel relax n in the future u wont regret because at least u will know u did ur best n u tried to have her.who knows maybe she loves u.take risk n tell her even if it ruins ur friendship,it worth,just do it.be urself n express ur feeling.after that u can deside beter n more logical.be sure about her feeling just by asking her.girls can easily hide their feeling.try it out.
I say you must tell her. I was a guest at my best friend's wedding yesterday and I am now absolutely miserable. Her mother hinted to me after the ceremony that I was her daughter's first choice but she moved on after I never made a move. We are still best friends yet I know that I must now always keep my feelings to myself lest I complicate her new life.
I think you shouldn't hide ur feelings anymore.. Well you should seriously take the risk & tell her about ur feelings.. You can't keep hiding it 4 long.. Though this might end ur friendship cuz she will never look at u the same way she used 2 b4 but believe me it's worth it..
You can't stay that friend who will always b there 4 her while you want or wish 4 more than that.. You want her 2 love u while all she is interested in is friendship.!!!
You should make this move cuz if you dont u will regret it later.. Even if the results were negative u should go on wid ur life..! =)
Wish You Best Of Luck!
xx!
I met a man over 3 years ago. He was a new doctor for me and my family. When he walked into the room, I was gone. I felt electricity from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. My inside screamed to run and get out of there. I knew he was big trouble for me. I thought this is my soulmate, the man I will married, he is 12 years younger then me. Then reality hit me. I thought oh my gosh I already am married and he certainly must be married, which he is. I saw this man a lot within the year and a half he was my doctor. The flirting started very shortly after my visits and I ate it up. He told me I was his favorite patient, which I already knew. He made me feel alive again and would tell me things about his wife. They never talked, problems with their kid and so on. I never really replied on that subject. When he would see me, he would give me a look, that made me melt. That look when you know he feels the same way. Nothing ever happened physically between us and I could not take it anymore and told him I had to leave and he did let me go, but it has been almost 2 years since I have seen him and I still think about him everyday. I love my husband, but I can not get this guy out my head, my heart, my very soul. How can I make this feelings go away. I have never felt this way about another man, even my husband and I do really love my husband. Any advice?
To "His Favorite Patient", what you feel for him is and always has been lust, not love, and if he feels anything toward you (which you do not know either way, you're just guessing. It's way too easy to mistake the way someone looks at you for meaning anything other than their eyes met yours at the same time. This happens all the time with people and usually only one of them is really feeing anything from the look, and a look itself does not equal love, but rather "lust"). So let it go, he's married, you're married, forget him, decide to get him out of your mind and keep away from him altogether, and eventually you will forget about him. Move on from him and away from him and stay away, and find new ways to fall in love all over again with your husband, and soon you and your husband will both be reaping the benefits of this. I know what I'm talking about because years ago I, too, felt what you felt toward a co-worker of mine while I was married to my current (but probably soon-to-be ex) husband. Later on I realized that it was only lust and that this would possibly come and go with others too, so just treat it as such and let it go, because your husband should always be the one you focus on with all of your heart and soul. Had I done that with my wonderful husband, and let him know just how much I truly loved him (and I still do), and not focused so much on other things in my life, he probably wouldn't be on his way to becoming my "ex". He walked away because he thought I loved my dogs more than him, which was NEVER true, but I didn't prove it to him the way he wanted and needed me to. It just goes to show to everyone reading this that if you put too much of your thoughts and/or energies into anything other than your spouse that it can and sometimes does push them out the door, whether it be another man you're focusing on, or your dogs, or a favorite hobby or whatever. If you really love your husband as you say you do, then let HIM know it, the sooner the better, and make sure he's convinced. Focus all of your energies on him and convincing him of your love for him, and stop taking away from that energy to focus any on the other man. Let him go and run to your husband, and thank your lucky stars that you have him. Trust me, you'll thank me for this one day. Blessings.
I disagree! Don't do what makes her feel better! Do what makes YOU feel better!
You should love yourself first!
You should break contact with her, because the more you contact her the more you remember that she does not love you.
It will help if you break contact.
It is like walking out of the shower without a towel. The water drips off you slowly, but eventually you get dry.
I have to say that either have it out with her and tell how you exactly feel and where you wish the relationshipt to head or break complete contact even through MSN.
However if she already knows how you feel, does not reciprocate and yet "She always ask support from me and says sweet things to me.", well not only you need to break contact but you need to give yourself a kick up the bottom for being such a pushover. Yes eventually you will get over her, maybe she will hold a special part of your heart forever but you will find someone else. Do not let her ruin you for other women, especially when you give her all the support you can even though it is tearing you apart, yet she seems insensitive to your pain
A strange feeling in the tummy is not a sign of a healthy relationship even when it is only friendship, all this nonsense about butterflies in the tummy is nothing more than nonsense. A friendship is where you feel security, trust and mutual admiration not feel torn up. I was in a relationship where I had a funny feeling in my tummy and couldn't keep much down ; I lost weight while apparently he seemed to enjoy his food rather a bit too much and he freaking put on weight!...