One of our readers, Shadia, has sent in a critical question, asking what to do in her difficult case.
She's a Muslim and she's in love with a Christian. She asks what she can do to be with him?
Well, Shadia ... I'm not going to sugar coat the answer for you because this is serious.
In Islam, a man can marry a woman not from his religion, but a woman is not allowed to do the same.
If you want details, it'll take a very long time, but in short, you can't marry a Christian because your kids will follow their dad's religion! Simple and straight forward.
Islam is not against any religion. On the contrary, we are ordered to befriend Christians and respect them and their beliefs. But, this is the one and only situation where a relation between a Muslim and Christian won't work!
If you want to be friends with this guy, then go for it, but Don't take things to another level!
comments
Yeah, I am a young muslim and I have met women who married a christion guy BUT only b/c he changed his religon.
If he realy loves u then he would do the same but show him the truth of islam and make himn want islam not just u...
In my opinion...
If any one diagrees please tell me I would like to learn thanks
You have to be very carfull cause my sister married a guy who was christian and converted to islam. well he only converted to impress her and after 13 years of marriage he told her that he doesn't relly believe in islam and that he still beleives in christianity. luckily her children are older and they are muslim. so she had to ask for divorce cause it is against islam.
So Shadia think twice before you make a decision cause love doesn't last very long and if you are worried about this issue you won't be happy. You will always think of the "what if's ".
It doesn't matter how open minded we are, religion and culture are two things that can break a long term relationship.
Good luck shadia,
What is so wrong with her marrying a Christian??? something wrong with us?? do we believe in Someone or Something other than GOD? What if a muslim man marries a christian girl and then tells him 15 years later that she believes only in christianity and she has taught her kids the bible??? is that halal to kill her??
When u say u have no problem with Christians and then say it's a big problem to marry one, then u have a problem with Christians.. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but plz don't contradict yourself.
Thank you
why a lot of muslims men marry christiaan girls, and her family has no problem with it, but when it comes for a muslim girl and marry christian , her family makes a lot of problem and even kill her, but i believe in one god, and every person can marry the one who loves, i want to tell u something, i respect all relegeous, im christian and if i fall in love with a muslim, my parents will never say no, they are open minded people, we are in 2008, so i disagree with people who says
that problems comes when u marry a christian, every person can get marriage problems if he married muslim of christian, and if they love eachother, they must respect
the religion of each other,
OK so this is a sensitive matter but i need to comment on it I am a guy and Lebanese Christian guy and all my friends are Muslim. Regardless, its not about the religion its about the person itself, as a couple you need to discuss these matters, what you will do together to get over it, and what will happen when the kids come into the picture, I know as arabs we depend alot on family but sometimes they just really do not understand and they refuse to think outside the box. But we must be a little selfish sometimes and let our heart guide us in the right direction, LOVE IS LOVE NO MATTER WHAT!!! At the end of the day we are all from the MIddle eat and we are all brothers and sisters who must respect one another and there religions! All becasue you marry a christian or muslim sould not make you change or loose your religion, you just gain another one. I donno man, if i would marry a muslim girl i would educate my kids about Christianity and Islam, at the end of the day ITS ONE GOD JUST ONE AND ITS THE SAME ONE WE ALL LOVE!
You are making it sound like there's something wrong with Christians Waleg.. we are all the same, kilna bashar.. we are all human and no matter the religion you can get married to anyone, we are all God's people and religion shouldn't interfere with love. That's the stupidest thing i've ever heard waleg u saying that it won't work and no they don't have to follow the dads religion, they can follow which ever religion they want, a lot of ppl in Lebanon get married Christian to Muslim... bc of the large population of both religions
BRAVO YA JOE!! WELL SAID
To sous83
Notre religion interdit qu’une femme marie un homme qui n’est pas musulman, ce n’est pas parce que nous avons des problèmes avec eux mais c’est parce que ça peux dans les plupart des cas causer des problèmes à la femme et à ses enfants : les fils d’un chrétiens seront à 90% des chrétiens !!!!!!
Parce que c’est le père qui domine après tous. Alors ma chérie, pour nous marier un chrétien (ou un autre) ça reviens à entrainer des personnes « en danger » et les renvoyer à hell !!!! Parce que nous croyons fort à l’islam (la seule religion qui n’a pas de problème de dire oui : il ya eu des messagers du dieu avant islam, que nous les croyons mais l’islam c’est le dernier : il faut le croire !!!!!)
ok Nouraa c des mentalite comme vous qui causent des problems comme sa. Et c pas vrai tu iras pas a l'enfer! You wont go to hell is u marry a christian. Et aussi les Chretiens on pas des problems avec les Musulmans, je ne connais pas tes experiences mais c pas juste ta point de vue. On croit dans un Dieu. Alors stp ouvre ta teme un peu.
nouraa'S COMMENT TRANSLATED IN ENGLISH
To sousa
our religion forbids us to marry a man who is not muslim, its not because we have a problem with THEM but most times in most cases it can cause a problem to the woman and children: the sons on a Christian man with a muslim mother well the outcome is the sons will 90% christian!!!!
Becasue its the father who dominates the family/ So my dear for us the marry a christian ( or another) is brings people into " danger" and it will send them to hell!! Because we believe strongly in Islam ( the only religion that dosen't have a problem of saying: there were messengers of God before Islam, that we beleive in and its the last: we must beleive!
Zuzu's english tanslation to Noraa;s comment
ok Nouraa its mentalities like yours that causes problems like this. And it is not true that you will go to hell if you marry another religion.
Aswell Christians dont have problems with Muslims we live together for many many years!!! I dont know about your personal experiences, but your point of view is not correct. We all belive in one GOD! So please open up your mind a bit!
to zuzu
je suis musulmane et je crois bien ma réligion et je suis convaincu de tous ces lois. et c'est dieu qui nous a dit d'après le coran que tous ceux qui croient pas à l'islam (meme s'ils croient au dieu) sont dans la mauvaise voie. pourquoi dois-je, en me marriant d'1 non musulman, causer la souffrance de mes enfants en les renvoyant à l'inconnu???????????
crois moi, ami, je suis très ouverte sur ttes les cultures et j'ai des amis de diff nationalités et meme des juifs ( not all jewish are zionist!!!) et je suis pas contre l'amour d'un chretien mais j'aime mon dieu et ma réligion plus fort que lui. enfin si toute personne cherche la bon voie pour connaitre dieu, il va la retrouver certainnement.
Bonne nuit à tous.
C LE MEME DIEUX il y a un Dieux
Same God, there is only one!
Bonne nuit!
Noraa;s Translation to me
I am Muslim et I believe in my religion and I am convinced of it and all its laws, and its God told us according to the Coran those who do not believe in Islam (even if they believe in God) are in the wrong path. Why should I, by marrying a non-muslim, cause suffering to my children and to send them to the unknown???????????? Believe me my friend, I am very open on all cultures and I have friends from different nationalities and even jewish, and I am not against the love of a Christian but I love my God and my religion more than the Christian guy. Finally if everyone searches for the right path to learn about God , thye will certainly find it. Good nite to all.
BASICIALLY SHES IS SAYING TO BE A MUSLIM IS THE BEST RELGION AND THE ONLY ONE AND THAT EVERYONE ELSE WEATHER IS BE CHRISTAINS OR ORTHODOX OR ANYONE ELSE IS FOLLOWING THE WRONG RELIGION AND THE WRONG GOD. THIS POINT OF VIEW IS COMPLETELY WRONG, BECAUSE AGAIN WE HAVE ONE GOD AND IT’S THE SAME ONE WE WORSHIP!
AND AND ALL "AIR" RELIGIONS SUCH AS CHRISTIANITY, CATHOLIC AND ISLAM ARE CREATED FROM THE SAME BASIS!
Et encore une chose mon pere et musulmane etma mere et Chretien, et moi j'ai pas de problem avec n'importe qui et la Religion. Je croix pas que sa cause de la souffrance au femme et aux enfants, parce que moi et ma mere on souffre pas. Alors malgres de tes belles mots. Personellment je ne suis pas d'accor avec vous. Ma meme pratique sa religion et mon pere paratique son religion. Et moi Je pratique les deux, l'eglise c'est le maison de Dieu, commone le Mosque. Et ma cher je doute que Ma Mere ou Moi vont aller a l'enfer. Bonne nuite!! En passant est ce que vous etes Maroccaines?
TRANSLATED IN ENGLISH
And one more thing my father is Muslim and my mom is Muslim and me I don’t have an issue with either religion. I don’t believe that this will suffering to women and their children,, simply because me and my mother have never suffered in any way and we wont.Despite your nice words. So I don’t not agree with your view. My dad practices his religion and my mom her own. As for me I practice both how can you say well its possible paraying is praying. Both a Mosque and a Church is BAIT ALLA! GOD’S HOME. And sweerie I am sure me and my mother wont be going to Hell either. So good nite.
Are you Maroccain?
take care
I meant my mother is Christian!
hi I think that you shouldn't take your relationship to the next level with this guy. If you really love him than you should convert otherwise leave him alone. I dont mean to be harsh but you know from the start that both of you have different religions so why start something you cant finish. thanx
I used to believe it depended on the person not the religion when it came to dating someone, but i was wrong. I am a young christian women who dated a muslim guy so I know the difficulties that can come with dating someone from a different religion. But what others need to be informed is that Christians are NOT allowed to marry anyone that is from a different religion than our own. It states that specifically in the Bible. Just as Muslim women are forbidden to, Christian women are forbidden to as well. It is a very serious matter. You have to think in the long run what is going to happen to you and your family as a whole in the future. Don't get caught up in the present because when you do, you lose all logic of the situation. If you are not willing to convert to Christianity then leave him. It will never work out and it's best to just walk away and move on. Trust me on this, I know from experience. It will hurt like hell and you will feel heartbroken for some time but the pain subsides eventually and all becomes normal. You will go back to the life you had before as well as he.
hi.WOW!thnx waleg for posting this coz i´m struggeling with this for quiet a wile now.
i live in europe.where all kinds of religions all live together. I am a muslim myself.
i was very happy with my bfrnd for many years and he´s muslim 2 and we are engaged now and i´ll have my khoutaba this summer. I
started a new job a couple of months ago and i fell in love with a CRISTIAN guy.and he loves me 2!!and he knows that im engaged.
and i really dont know what to do now.i figured out that i never really loved my bfrnd.the one who makes me feel happy and good about myself is the cristian guy.im very depressed now.when i talk on the phone with my bfrnd(coz he doesnt live in europe)i try to act normal but i cant.and he tells me that he thinks that something is wrong with me coz ive changed the way i talk 2 him.WHAT SHOULD I DO?please someone help me.i dont have a lot of muslim friends,i have more cristian friends.but i havent told this to anyone.im scared coz i really really want to be with him.but how? so SHADIA,i kinda feel you girl!i hope you find peace.and whatever decesion u make,GOD (coz there´s only one and we will all go to the same one)wont punish u i think.i think that for you and me the problem is FAMILY.and God gave us a mind and feelings,right?somebody please answer.
well guys im sorry but most of you are stupid , what's the wrong in marring from other religions, and what's the wrong if children's became christian isn't a religion of god . im christian and im proud of it and i have no problem in marring from other religions but for sure i won't change my religion and its the same for a christian ... AND FOR YOUR KNOWLEDE ISLAM IS NOT BETTER THEN CHRISTIAN OUR RELIGION BECAME FIRST AND WE BELIEVE IN IT AND THE BIBLE DIDN'T FORBID US FROM MARRING FROM OTHER RELIGIONS CUZ JESUS SAYS WE ARE ALL SONS OF GOD ..SIMPLY THIS WHAT I CALL TRUE RELIGION.
To Waleg,
thank you for the post.
To Bad idea,
thank you for your comment, what you said is JUST GREAT.
if 2 people love each other than they won't think wht their religion is and they will stay together practicing both christianity and muslim and who said that people can't get married unless it's a muslim or christian marriage!!!
TO PEACE. i think thats soo trueee.have u read my story?what do u think?with the guy i really like we hardly ever talk about religion.we just live in the moment.what do u think i should do?
TO ZUZU!
SO YOUR BASICALY SAYING THAT ALL CHRISTIANS GO TO HELL?! WAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM OPEN YOUR MIND! WE ALL BELIEVE IN THE SAME GOD! AND ITS OUR ACTIONS THAT SENDS US TO HELL!
BTW IAM A CHRISTIAN! AND I DO HAVE MORALS AND BELIEVE IN THE SAME GOD AS YOU AND I DONT BELIEVE IM GOING TO HELL.
To Jojo
R U RETARTED??? I never said that this is what the user Noraa typed in french I just translated what she wrote to me....please learn how to read properly and FOR YOUR INFORMATION I AM CHRISTIAN TOOO SO CALM DOWN AND READ
hii..my name is Christina and i am Christian..living in the united states.
i was born in lebanon and i came to the states when i was 10..and i am 24 now.
my best friend is muslim..i met her when i came here and i was 12 years old and we are still friends until this day.
our families know each other by now of course..she has brothers and i have brothers and we all know each other.
her boyfriend is christian and her family has no problem with it at all...and they came to america a year after we did..and they used to live in lebanon also.
all im trying to say that i never cared about my best friend being muslim. we believe in the same god and she practices her religion and i practice mine. her bf also, never complained about her being a muslim and she never either..and their engagment is in august.
hes not converting to muslim neither shes converting to christianity.
im sure different ppl here have different opinions about this issue and i dont blame them. no one is the same and we all live in different places..different environmtens and different families.
i think if SHADIA..loves her Christian guy..then she should take him as he is (a christian). and she should take her as she is (a muslim). because you are marrying HIM..for who he is..not for his religion.
i dont know what ur parents or family think about this. but I AGREE WITH 7ALLA..when she said that if u knew from the beginning that this wont work out u shouldnt go far.
if my parents didnt want me to marry a muslim..then i would try to not go far if i met an attractive muslim guy..where i think that i might fall inlove with him one day. i would just keep him as a friend. but sometimes ppl dont think about the situation too much and dont think it might go really far.
i am actually engaged and my fiance is christian and he has soooooooo many muslim friends because he came to michigan 6 years ago. and he lived in beirut so he had many friends and never thought it was a big deal either.
i wish u the best luck SHADIA. think it about wisely..if u wanna let him go..then do it asap and believe me it will hurt u so much esp coz u are in love...but sometimes ppl have to sacrifice..and if u dont want to loose ur family who have raised u all ur life then u just let go.. it will take time..but life goes on..and ppl change..and u might meet someone else..maybe from ur own religion who will also make u happy. also, i think u should talk to ur christian bf..and discuss this with him..and see what he thinks about this whole thing and where he stands.
i have to add though..its hard to fine true love these days..so think about it..and think about all the things that made u fall deeply in love with guy..coz if u werent in love with him..im sure u wont be sharing ur problem with everyone on this site. i wish u the best luck.
I HOPE I DIDNT OFFEND ANYONE HERE.
wawwww, you guys made it sound like a huge deal, 3anjad 3eb 3laykun, yalli 2alu it wont work, we are under one GOD, whether u belive in JESUS or in Mohammed, both prophets were sent by GOD.
i am a christian lebanese i live in the states, & 6 of my cousins are married to muslims, whether the girl or the boy from my side, they cant be happier, their kids believe in one GOD, and fear GOD, done deal..........
el koun ra7 yekhlas w intu 3meltu inu el masi7eye adrab 3alam wel islem erhabeyye, law ana khle2et b bet Muslim i would have been a Muslim, otherwise iam a christian,,,,, welli byejma3u Rabna ma bifar2u ensen, at the end its up 2 u Shadia, iza inti me2ten3a its enough, when u ask people will will get lost cuz ppl are from different opinions, make up ur mind & marry the guy, I am positive that you will be happy , parents will be ok as soon as they know ur happy, & believe that its destiny w Rabna jama3ek with this guy 4 a reason, just be happy & enjoy life, otherwise u will marry someone that you dont love & for the rest of ur life ur password will be this guys' name the christian thay u loved & u will tell the world about him,,, so lashu hal 7ar2et el 2alb, life is too short be happy girl & may GOD bless you all.
This is a very sensitive subject. I'm a Christian and we are so proud of our religion but at the same time we respect other's religion.
Just one question why the Muslims are so strict (mitchadidine) walla for your own sake don't be like that.
Religion is not do things cause only u r afraid of people, or praying many times a day while your is not clean....... You have to do things from your heart not because u r afraid.
To Shadia i say pray from your heart and God will guide you what u should do. If you know more about Christianity you might change ur mind.
Jesus is great he has done miracles he died for us....... Try to read some pages of the bible and tell me what u feel. All the world's love is there in these pages.
Im not talking about my religion in that way to make your religion seems bad no not at all i respect the way you think or what u beleive in.
Waleg you are Muslim but please you have a lot of Christians in this website so try to be objective or else we will feel not welcomed in your website eventhough we like it so much.
TO SWEET85 first of all i wanna say that i'm christian, n second of all since u fell in love with this christian guy it means u never really loved ur bf. and i tink in marriage love is the winner not religion so do wht ur heart tells u and if u do not have problems marrying a christian n he does't mind 2 than go for it. if both of u r open about religions n love each other than nothing else matters
to farah i just wanna say u GO GIRL!! i think before talking religion people should read the bible very well as i read the coran n then we'll c if they'll say anything bad about christianity. but i want to correct a thing that u said which is that JESUS died but he ''kam'' in the third day.
TO PEACE thnx for responding.
i tottaly agree and I dont have any problem with the religion part and neither does he,but i know that my family wont agree with me, and family is very important to me and i dont want to lose my family.coz i they would agree , i would have stopped the engagement a long time ago.
a big thank you to waleg.this is great,people from all different backgrounds can talk about everything they want.
http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Islam-vs-Christianity.html
I do not WALEG if I can post this but I found it somewhat funny and hope it does not offend anyone, Christians or Muslims...
As for Shadia,
I believe you did not need H.A.R. to tell you what you already and most of us here knew. Even I as a non Muslim would have told you the same thing, unless you are prepared to face the wrath of your Muslim community and your parents. It is not because I believe one religion is better than the other, or that I agree that you should not marry a non Muslim but because I do not believe love conquers all.
If you did not think of the obstacles, you would not have been in such a dilemma as to seek guidance here... It is easy to say who care about religion, but then the world would not be in the state that it is in if religion was not one of the most important aspects of most people's lives.
Think about it honey and think about you will lose, also what you will gain and then decide. The problem with young love is that it can be blind, and unfortunately I believe that all we did here with our comments, is cause you to be confused even more. All I can say is that I'm sorry for your pain.
Believe one thing though, that life goes on with love or without it.
Comment deleted for being too long and for being copied material from another website.
Leila u need a life, you sat here and did all this........I feel waleg should close this discussion. becasue it has gotten out of hand.....sara7atan!!!
I feel the only ones with a really big problem with this according to what I have read are the Muslims. I feel the Christians according the the blogging going on dont have much of a problem marrying another religion.Enno Relgion is Religion GET THE POINT YOUR GOD IS THE SAME AS OUR GOD. BASSSSSSSSSSS Marry whoever u like. Muslim Christian.
Khalassss baa!!!!!!!!!
COMMING FROM A MUSLIM FATHER AND A CHRISTIAN MOTHER, I AM HALF LEBANESE HALF EGYPTIEN RAISED IN LEBANON AND BORN THERE TOO SOOO TO ALL OF U WHO ARE MAD THAT I SAID THIS COMMENT U HV NO REASON TO BE BECAUSE I AM NOT ATTACKING ANYONE, THIS IS JUST WHAT I REALIZED AFTER READING ALL THE POSTS OVER THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS.
xo cheers
and once again, I have never had any problem in my life with my family or freinds or anyone in that matter due to my religion and my religions mix. Honestly it all depends on who your parents and who your family is. If they have on open mind or a closed one.
u r crazy?
or u just entertain?
u should be asham of urself
TO NOURA,
How can u say that if we are not mouslim and believe in the same god we are on the wrong pad, are u stupid, god is good for every body who loves him and believes in him and his miracles, u have no write to say that, cause u judje people, leave the judjing to
God, i respect all regelious, im christian and most of my friends are muslims , we treat each other with a lot of love and respect, they celebrate Xmas with me and i celebrate ramadan with them, even they put Xmas tree in their home, and me and my parents dont
care from which religion my husband will come, cause love is important in a marriage,if he christian or muslim, i love the person and not his religion, and if one married from another religion, if they respect the religion of each other, they will have a perfect marriage, and god will guide them to make the good choices
I am very sane and normal, but i am also entertaining.
ashamed of what>>>????? exactly say it??? I didnt say anything shameful/////
BRAVO DUDU!! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE MUSLIM ASWELL AND WE TREAT EACOTHER LIKE BOTHERS AND SISTERS AND RELIGION NEVER COMES INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP I GO TO THEIR EIID CELEBRATIONS AND THEY COME OVER FOR CHRISTMAS......SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DONT UNERSTAND WHY EVERYONE ELSE IS AGAINST IT.....ITS TOTALLY NORMAL WE ARE HUMAN WE BELEIVE IN THE SAME GOD ASWELL!
TO ZUZU
IAM REALY SORRY THAT WAS A TYPING ERORR! THE MESSAGE WAS MEANT TO NOORA! IM REALY SORRY AGAIN!
TO JOJO
3ADE BRO!!! It's ok however I do admit shes a bit JNOONA!!! Not normal the way she thinks ppl like this are the ones who cause problems. (nouraa)
take care