Hi, i been having some problems lately and i feel it is affecting my love life. Few months back i finally got together with my high school sweetheart so to speak. She's the girl I've been hung up on since 11 grade. We had feelings for each other we just never said them because of fear of ruining the friendship because neither of us knew how each other felt. She was also in a complicated relationship of three years in the end at the time.

I had a feeling of love and compassion each time i was around her, she's a gorgeous girl and i looked beyond it and fell in love with the person she is inside. I joined the army and ended up in Germany. I found her again on myspace 2 years later, march 2006. We talked and found out we felt the same way and decided to make it official. I went home for Christmas leave and it was nothing short of magical. Ive had partners before sexually but with her i wouldn't rush into sex, i wanted it to be perfect and to be honest it was amazing it felt like the first time all over again, like she was the one i was meant to be with.

I left home and she told me shortly after she loved me. I'm a very affectionate person and i layed everything i felt feel to her, she's cautious when it comes to that due to the past but i'm willing to look past it. Anyway, i found out recently that my career in the army may be over due to some infractions with my back and lately my current status is that i cant do my job and i cant workout, a deep passion of mine. I didn't think it was bothering me until about two weeks ago it hit me all in one morning, i woke up with the empty feeling and my love and compassion for everything had disappeared my family, her, any desire to do anything has faded. Her and i are in a long distance relationship as you can guess. It hasn't been bad, i've missed her so much and I've always had a heavy heart thinking about her, i felt love for the first time a deep in love feeling. Lately it has all faded, i cant feel anything, i question our relationship and the outcome which i had never done before this. I have small times in the day when i can remember and i feel it again and i'm so happy to feel it again but then it goes away.

This out of all of the situation is the only thing that bothers me, i don't care about the future i can adapt the army did teach me something, but i don't want to go through the future without her it just doesn't seem right when i look ahead i see her.Ive spent days crying to feel something asking to feel something for her again, anybody. I'm scared that my feelings wont come back. I don't want another woman, i have no desire to be with anyone else. Is what i'm feeling understandable in my situation or is my flame starting to go out, if you can provide advice i would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

By Travis

Answer:

Dear Travis,

Your problems do seem more of the psychological than the romantic kind. You have described a beautiful relationship, that you are loath to let go of. In reading the way you describe your feelings, it seems that you suffer from symptoms of depression. The most common are a sad mood, accompanied by loss if interest and pleasure.

The fear of losing your career, as well as the possibility of not being able to exercise, both important aspects of your life, has spawned another fear. A fear that has manifested itself in your relationship, another major part of your life.

I see no problems in your relationships except maybe the distance. Try to seek her out in person, and discuss your feelings with her. Sharing your problems can make the load seem lighter. Another advice is to seek the help of your family and friends. If this does not seem to help, you may seek a more expert opinion.

Good luck Travis and I do hope it works out for you.

Sil