I met this girl a couple of years ago and we have become best friends. We see each other about 6 days a week and we hang out and watch movies all the time. At first I didn’t have any feelings for her apart from a friend but now over about the last 5 months I have become completely in love with her. I told her that I liked her a few months ago and she gave me the 'I love you as a friend' thing. To make things worse she has got herself a bf who lives 7 hours away and they have been going out for a few months. I don’t know why my feelings for her haven’t gone away after all this time.
The times we spend together feel like we are made for each other, it feels like we are already boyfriend and girlfriend. It makes me sad knowing that she is with another boy but at this moment, I guess I can’t let my feelings out to her because of her boyfriend. It would make things awkward again and I would have to go through all the pain I went through last time I told her I liked her. My feelings are much more stronger than last time though, I am in love with her.
I think about her all the time and she just means everything to me. A while ago I gave her a letter telling her my feelings for her cause I was too scared to tell them in person. Should I let them out to her again? She is the only person I want to be with. I’m in love with her. Any advice? Thanks.
By Barry
Answer:
Dear Barry,
The friend relationship that develops into love is a tough one. Actually, it’s kind of like a loose-loose situation! You can’t stay the way you are and if you say something, it might ruin everything. I know how difficult it is to be around someone you’re madly in love with yet can’t do anything! It’s like being tied down and having to watch her tear out your heart all day! The very same thing happened to me once. I asked around and everyone told me to keep shut!
I didn’t listen.
It ruined everything of course, but I would have regretted it for the rest of my life had I stayed silent. You started out with doing the right thing by informing her how you feel, however, I wouldn’t have advised a letter.
Girls love confidence in a man, they can smell it and feel it! If I were you, I would come straight out with it face to face! Be strong man!!!
But anyway, we don’t need to discuss anything that has gone by. So she saw your letter? What did she say? I’m not sure but your chances are a bit slim…since she already has a boyfriend and if she felt anything towards you, you would already have sensed it by now… or was she leaving tons of hints and like the typical men we are, you never picked up on them??
My advice to you now would be to get this thing off your chest. You will feel much better any way it goes! Be brave, be courageous because you don’t want her pity love! Your love should be strong! But in all cases, you shouldn’t give up on your friendship even though it’s tough to hang on! Tides have a way of turning…you never know what can happen in the future.
Good luck!
Zayed
comments
oh plz! just get on w/ ur life. u cant forget her cuz U WONT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER. theres no such thing as one person whose made for u. there r plenty of fish in the sea. lets move it man!
Stop jumping 2 her calls everytime she wants u. Don't spend hours on end with her...make her feel that u have a life coz u r just being her security blanket. She'll start thinking that no matter what happens u'll always be there and @ her service, u'll be her doormat eventually. So just busy your time with something other then her and if u do meet her just be friendly and act normal etc.
Barry, I have to agree with Sam. This girl, although may be nice, does not seem to be considering your feelings. You seem to be on-call for her, for when she is not seeing her bf. I mean, 6 days a week seems more full on than a full time relationship.
My advice is that you distance yourself from her for a little while. I know it will be hard, but it will be even harder if u stay with her and she gets even more serious with this guy.
If u distance ur self, it might make her miss u and realise her true feelings for you. If she has no feelings for u, at least u would have started to move away from her. That can only be healthy for u.
Please find a hobby and busy yourself and keep away from her. I dont want her to break your heart again. U sound like a top guy and there are plenty of girls who would kill for an attentive bf like u (believe me... I am still looking).
Good luck Barry. I hope things work out for you.
Carol.
hi dear Barry,
i totaly agree with Carol..u must mave on with ur life...i realy know that its very very hard 4 u but u must fill ur time with some thing els realy....coz if ull stay like this u will not stop thinking about her...ther are many many girls that would do anything to have a guy like u...take care about u and ur feelings..u dezerv much more,,
i truly wish u the best,
sincearly,
hannah
Dear Barry
I know what real love and especialy this kind of love is.Don't listen to them.Just let ur heart guide u if she will respond u that would be gr8 if she will keep saying ur a friend just keep trying secretly.
Try to make her jealous or just be absent for some days and she'll get crazy i'm sure.And remeber Friendship can turn into love but never love into friendship so she's the one who can change her feeling.Kiss my dear and my God be with u.
Barry,
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve completely fallen for my best friend and it kills me all the time. Ok so here’s my story- my best girl friend told me she liked my best friend and so I was like ok ill see if he likes you and then I’ll try to set you two up. But during the process of doing this I started to feel feelings resurfacing from when I used to like him as a lot more than a friend- but in the past I had thought I was just being silly and was just interpreting feelings of friendship as something else. Honestly I was just very confused. And now I feel horrible because I am always with both of them- and they always go to me for advice- and of course I help them out because they both mean the world to me and I would never want to hurt them. Now he is all I think about, even stupid things remind me of him- it seems I cant get through a single conversation with anyone without having something remind me of him. He truly is my best friend, and I don’t ever want to lose him. The problem is I just can’t get past these feelings- believe me I have tried. And besides all this he constantly flirts with me and he always has, I just don’t understand. I want to get past all this and not be afraid to pursue other relationships- but I feel like if I go out with someone else when I still have these feelings for my best friend I will just end up hurting someone. I wish there was just some way to stop feeling this way about him.
My advice to you Barry is to just be there for her. If you truly care about her then be the best friend that you can for now. But you have to realize things may or may not change. The good thing is if this boy she’s with now ends up hurting her guess who’s arms she’s going to run to- her BEST FRIEND’S!
And don’t forget to pray about it- I find that helps (:
P.S.
If anyone has any advice for me I would really appreciate it
I Don't have any good advise to give you but
i can tell you man i feel your pain,the girl
im currently tired of pursuing has even maneged
to lower me to the level of an internet geek,
i know i would be better of putting a gun to my
head but i don't have the balls to do it so i
linger around internet sites moaning about my situation, she knows exactly how i feel
about her and even told me if she could be
with anyone she would be with me, that she loves
me deeply that i make her as happy as shes ever
felt but she can't be with me because shes Screwed up from a previous relationship, yet i introduced her to some of my freinds
and within a month i find shes already slept with
one of them, she told me how she felt about me after she
slept with this FORMER FREIND, so i guess what
im trying to say is, don't give her more then
you should because she will disrespect you,
proberbly without even realising what she's doing
to you. People are very selfish creatures who most of time are interested only in satisfing
their immediate whims (guys and gals!)it's always
hard when your in the freind hole, i know this
more then any one person should, and the reason
for that is that i have made the same mistake
over and over and over again If you know you love
some one let them know then and there or let them
go because it will hack at you soul and make
you weak.....we all have our own perspectives
on these things and i guess mine is purely a
reflection on my situation so don't take any
one elses advise to seriousley just try and
find the closest thing you can find to the truth
of the situation AND THEN ACT ON IT!!!
Peace...
Man i know exactly what you're going througth. I also have fallen for my best friend, but i didn't realized until she got herself a bf. So i told her about my feelings and she felt mmm... not the same but defenetly has some feelings for me, and she told me nothing like this has ever happened to her before she loves me more than his current bf and now she is very confused. I actually don't know what to feel for her i think of her 24/7 and i like spending time with her and so does she, but still she's whith this other idiot, so that makes me confuse and kind of mad, but i don't what to put more presure on her so i'm acting the same way before i said anything, I don't know what i'm doing and this hasn't ended yet so i'll se how this goes.
Hello guys my name is melvin burgos and I'm 18.well my 15 year old gurlfriend broke up with me because I was being a lil mean and because some other gurl told her I was cheating on her when I wasn't...whe broke up and it seems that she doesn't love me...now I'm am going to be in her sweet 15 and I feel okward..because of the fact that whe broke up and because she's being to friendly and cheezy with one of the guys she use to like in sweet 15 practice..
What should I do