My boyfriend got me pregnant. I got an abortion behind his back.
On Jan 3rd 2006, i went over to his house because i haven't seen him in a month. On the 4th, he found out about my abortion and got mad at me not for the fact that i got an abortion, but the fact that i didn't tell him. About a week later he started tripping out and i had a nervous breakdown. I talked to his friend and told him to call him and he said that he doesn't want to leave me and he doesn't want to breakup, but he does want space and he wants to get his life together.
But i don't know if he's going to call me or not! Should i wait or give up?
Samantha
Dear Samantha,
Hiding the fact that you got pregnant was wrong, and hiding the fact that you got an abortion was wrong as well.
So don't expect your boyfriend to forgive you easily, or to stop being angry quickly!
He does need time, and surely space too. So give it to him.
Give him some time, and let things calm down. Then if it took him too long to call you, then you call him, and have a serious, mature talk about things between you.
At that point, explain why you did what you did, and confess that you were wrong!
Then, you'll have to see where things go from there.
You will have to deal with the consequences of your actions!
Good Luck
comments
i agree wit H.A.R. u shouda never hid the fact that u were prgnant from him he mitta been happy that he has a kid from u. the least u couda done was take his opinion about the abortion. he is the father after all & u didn't mention that he woulda been a bad father. he needs his space now & time to think after wat u did to him. u shoudnt blame him or pressure him especially if he wanted a child. like H.A.R said if he takes to much time try to talk to him maturly about it & explain to him that u were wrong & why u did wat u did. if u had a reason u cant tell us why u did wat u did tell him so that he can undastand. i wish the best 4 u both & dat everything turns out good.
Dear samantha,I hope your boyfriend to be a gentle gye and respect him self and solve yours problem by marriying you and don"t hide your pregnant or breakdown because i like you to be a wronger girl better than a killer .
Dear lebanese girls,take care what you are doing by your selves the life is beautifull and it"s a front of you don"t make these mistakes and you should forget (boy friends)and have your sexe wiyh your husbends only.
So,you must follow him to solve his mistake,if he refuse talk to somedody from his family but not to his friend to secure your self from another trips ,maybe you"ll find some body from his family like brother or sister to help or force to marrying you.
I wish you all the best and take care.
First Dear Abbas
When and where is it mentioned anywhere in the article that she is Lebanese for goodness sake? NOWHERE
Secondly
I am sorry that you had to go through the pain of an abortion. I hope in time you will recover from this experience.
Regarding your boyfriend, really why did you have to go to his house because you have not seen him in a whole month? was he away or real busy? If not I think he is just using the excuse of the abortion.
If he trully loved and was angry that you did not share the fact that you had an abortion with him, a cooling period is all he needs. I would follow H.A.R.'s advice in that area. If not to hell with him. Sorry, no other way to say it.
I think you need someone close to help you deal with your abortion and the stress, a friend or a sister maybe. If not, I truly advise that you seek counseling, because it will always haunt otherwise.
Remember men come and go. Your body, self respect and health is something you should treasure.
Good thing you got the abortion. Seems like you are too dumb to raise a kid. Just remember next time use a rubber.
If you love him, you have to wait until he's ready. After all, you had an abortion in your own time and kept yourself distant from him. You tested the relationship by not confiding in him, and he's probably feeling lousy that you didn't talk to him before going through with something so serious. It is definitely your right to have an abortion, but your boyfriend deserved at least the right to go through this with you and to comfort you. He may also feel that you felt he was of no use, which can make a person question the trust aspect of the relationship. Maybe you could write a long letter and post it, explaining why you didn't consult him about it. You'll help to clear your own emotional strain, and it might help ease his.
I apologize this is VERY long, but I REALLY DESPARETLY need some advice! Thank you! =)
I'm in college and have liked this one particular guy for the past 2 1/2 years. Of course, when I met him I liked him right away, but that same day I met him I found out he was already somewhat talking to this girl and sure enough about a week later they ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm not going to lie...I was sad, but there was nothing I could do since he barely met me and I'm not that pushy type of girl, so I just let it be. I was always and still am extremly nice to him when I see him around, but he was not always very nice to me back, sometimes even saying rude things to me and I still do this day do not know why?! So, if someone could answer that question for me that would be extremly helpful! He even talked about how he didn't have money for groceries, and me being the nice person I am I went and bought him a $150 Wal*Mart card so he could go grocery shopping! He didn't except it from me though! He said he couldn't take it! We even ended up having a class together last fall semester and he would call me to study, but nothing happened ever because he had that same girlfriend. Well, sure enough the end of last semester around October he and his girlfriend broke up FOR GOOD because they fought all the time and plus she graduated this past December and moved away. At the start of this semester in January, he called me up out of nowhere and wanted to hang out. I was somewhat surprised because he never called me, but since I liked him I was very happy! Well, the day came around were we eventually got to hang out and one thing lead to another and we ended up getting intimate that night. I tried my hardest not to, but it was somewhat hard for me since I liked him. The next day he dropped me off and said he would call me after all his classes, but sure enough he never ever called me like he said he would and still to this day he hasn't called me since! I ended up seeing him about a week or so after that and he completly ignored me when he saw me and the only thing he said to me what "EXCUSE ME!" very rudly so he could pass by me because the place was super crowded! I was DEVESTATED because I had no idea why or what I even did to him since I had been nothing but nice to this guy since day one! I even ended up running into another time at Subway and this time he came up to me and said HI, so I said HI back only because he did first. We ended up talking a little bit about the two of us outside and he told me that "IT WAS VERY BAD TIMING WHEN HE MET ME TWO YEARS AGO BECAUSE HE WAS ALREADY DATING THAT GIRL" and then he went on to say "I DON'T WANT A GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GRADUATE THIS MAY AND I JUST WANT TO HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF, BLAH BLAH ETC....." Okay, now I completely understand that, but this is the thing I don't understand....as of a week ago, he got himself ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND!
*I guess I just basically want to know why does this guy does not like me AT ALL not even as a friend? I have been nothing but nice to him, so I don't really understand! Is it because I'm way too nice to him? Is it because I got initimate with him? Some of my friends have told me to move on COMPLETLY and he would eventually regret it in the long run! Is that true? If someone could help me out I would greatly appreciate it because I do need major advice! Thanks! =)
i was seeing a guy for about a year on and of and i fell pregnant, i didnt even know i could get pregnant cause i have pocs. when i found out i had mixed emotions about what do to. the guy i was seeing was leaving for australia the following week, should i or shouldnt i tell him. so i decided it was best that i didnt tell him. he was away for 6mnths and came back at xmas. i got the abortion in july and i told my older cousin and she came with me. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. theres not a day that goes by that i dont think about what i have done, i feel so guilty all the time. i wish i had spoke to a councellor after but i didnt, just tried to push it to the back of my mind. i tld the guy just after newyear, and when ever i see him i just want to crack, i know it wasnt his fault but i dnt know what to do. help!!!!!!