I have a problem. I have been dating this guy. We have known each other for about 3 months, he is 21 and I am 25, and he calls us just friends. Although we talk all the time on the phone and when we talk for hours and laugh and I just have a really awesome time every time we hang out which is like 3 or 4 times a week. We go out clubbing and drinking and dancing.
Just recently I hooked up with him, and we have been hooking up once a week or so for the past month. But when I asked him if we were dating or together or what? He said we were just friends. I do not think I can be that girl, Friends with benefits. It is just not me, but at the same time I really like him and enjoy his company. What should I do? I know I should not fall for someone so young.
Any answers or help will be greatly appreciated.
B
Dear B,
The first thing you should be sure of is that there is nothing wrong with dating a younger guy. Age is no issue!
As for “Friends with benefits” … I guess that is something you should discuss with him.
Make clear your point of view and listen to his opinion … and try to reach a compromise, or maybe this or that, either friends or something else … if it works for both of you.
comments
Dear B,
With the high respect to H.A.R's opinion, but age does make difference for some guys specially those who like to make control over their lovers and feeling that he is younger than you makes him feels that is a negative point in that relation.
This guy have same feelings that you have for him even if he keeps telling you something else. But unfortunatly you mis match his dream lover for some reason (it could be the age) but so far he feels very happy when he talks to you on the phone, when you go out together, he has feelings of a lover towards you but he is not sure about you because you don't fit deep inside him as his dream lover.
I don't think there is much you can do about it, most probably this relation will end up as soon as you start talking about it straight. So its better to give him time to let him compromise his dreams about his lover with you. (You'll be risking your feelings this way!)
There is nothing you can do about it, if you tried even to show him more feelings he might escape thinking that he is going to sink in your love that he can never change it later. (Because he is already weak towards you and he got feelings towards you)
Leave this guy now and don't attach your feelings to him. Probability of this relation to succeed is no more than 10%