Waleg

Help Me Forget The Love of My Life

By H.A.R. on May 27, 2005

I met this guy 3 years ago and we fell for each other straight away. We were in love. He is the only person i have ever loved. After 6 months of being together everything fell apart, for one he was far away, secondly my parents didnít know about it, thirdly his dad died on the 6th month and lastly my parents were getting divorced. There was nothing wrong with our relationship at all, but there was with our life and the fact that there was no way i could tell my mum or anyone that i liked him...

So on the 6th month of being together when everything went wrong, i told him that we have to finish and that thereís no point going on because we would never be together forever because of the fact that i canít tell my mum how i met him and that i talk to him.

We couldnít stop talking to each other even then and he kept texting me and ringing me and telling me he loves me and needs me. I felt the same and even more strongly for him but it couldnít go on. My mum found out about us and she was so angry. i love my mum and would never want to hurt her. So i stopped replying to the texts and never spoke to him again. This was 3 years ago, and since then Iíve not gotten in any relationship because i love him and will love him till i die. i told him this before but what I need now is some help. i donít know how to forget him. i think about him all the time. When our songs are on the TV i remember him. i canít forget him but need to.

Our relationship was perfect, and i know it was true love. but i havenít heard from him since 3 years and i donít think i want to because Iím trying to get over him and forget but just canít. I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM BECAUSE I PROMISED MY MUM IíD NEVER TALK TO HIM OR ANY GUY BEHIND HER BACK AGAIN AND I WOULD NEVER LIE TO MY MUM.

Help me to try and forget (if i can) the only man i love in my life.

Just me


Answer:

Dear Just me,

What has happened is sad, but you will have to deal with it.
If you are sure that it is a dead end, then control yourself and do anything in order to forget him; get busy and do something that will fill most of your time. And with the passing of time, you will heal.
You are only 18, and you have years to come, that will be full of millions of things to do.

Concentrate on your studying, take up a hobby, go out with friends and live your life and donít let anything stop you from having fun.
It seems to me you are a strong young woman, and the decision you took is the right one, donít weaken and keep your promise to your mom.
There will come a time when you will meet Mr. Right Ö and you will be a happy soul.

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  1. Ziad G

    Ziad G

    May 30, 2005

    You will not b able to forget him coz it is Hard and its True Love. How can u love ur mom more than ur soul mate. Your mom will leave ur life at some point, when you will be independant and live ur own life. I am speaking from personal experience!

  1. Forget Him

    Forget Him

    Jun 2, 2005

    I believe it is hard to forget someone you love but look at it from another point, your love for him may be due to the fact that you lost him. Sometimes, when our love life is empty, we tend to dwell on the old one and beautify him. To forget him, you have to believe that you will meet someone better than him and encourage yourself to move on. It is our lives and our friends can not help us much. To forget him, we can only depend on ourselves. That what i am believe in and trying to practise now: to forget someone i love, to forget that he does not love me, to forget that he love another girl, to forget everything about him. To forget so much so that there is only pure friendship between us.

  1. brittany

    brittany

    Jun 10, 2005

    OMG i totally understand what you r going through I am you age and the same exact thing happen to me its been a year for me though and I think about him on a dayly bases. And it is so hard....

  1. jsut me

    jsut me

    Jun 10, 2005

    Hey im the girl who posted the note. tell me about it britanny. its so difiuclt thanx for all you aedvice everyone on here!

  1. KAKA

    KAKA

    Jun 23, 2005

    yah, forgetting someone u love is very hard, I met this wonderful guy a year ago n we fell in love from de very first day. We both love each other a lot but our parents don't like eachother due to some past family history. Couple days ago, his father called my mother n told that I should quit being a bad influence on his son n my mother was surprised to hear that. Now things are getting pretty bad between our parents n I am just afraid whats next. Basically staying away fr him would be the best for everybody but I really do love him a lot. Never believed in LOVE untill I met him, Love sucks sometimes

  1. JomJom

    JomJom

    Jun 28, 2005

    i was 17 and did not belive in love, my parents split after over 20 years together and i didnt see the point in putting urself through all that heart ache. then i met a boy. a boy un like ne person i had ever met. within 2 weeks we were engaged and just over a month later, moved in together. 9 months later and it was all over. he got a new gf 3 days after and refused to speak to me ever since. it has been almost 2 years and i cannot forget him. he is still with the same girl. but they dont even live together. wat is wrong with me, i just want to stop loving him but i cant. i dont belive i will ever stop loving him. i know i will never love neone with the same intensity as i did him. u cannot forget ur first/true love. i just wonder if he ever truley love me. ne advice would be appreciated. i left my own country and am half way over the other side of the world because i couldnt stand living in the 10km radius of him and seeing them together.

  1. Jill

    Jill

    Jul 1, 2005

    My story is a little diffrent than most of the stories I have read. But I can relate. I am going through a really hard time right now and about to leave for college. I feel like no one understands me or my life. My boyfriend is not being supportive at all. I feel like i give alot and he does not try at all or even tries to give me the support I give him. I know I need to just walk out and move on with my life and go to college and see if it is meant to b. But I am really dependent on my boyfriend. He is my high school sweetheart and I am so used to having him to lean on and it is really hard for me to just walk away. I know I am going to truly suffer when I finally finish things and I am scared to just walk away. I truly love him, nut it is not fair to live my life this way and not recieve the same love I have given. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHRE TO TURN. My family is also going through hard times, leaving me no way to communicate with them. My mother betrayed me in a financal situation that could have sent me to jail. I need support anywhere i can get it. I know my life will be better for me as soon as I can go to college and get away. But right now another month (August) seems so far away. I love you guys just from hearing your stories, Because I feel your pain!!

  1. kylie

    kylie

    Jul 20, 2005

    very good but load of rubbish you cant help who you fall in love with and you think we can get over them i cant

  1. sapna

    sapna

    Jul 21, 2005

    i loved a boy with all my heart.. and he says that he loved me too.. but after some time i found out that he was liar he was chaeting on me .. and he have too many girlfriend.. he kissed another girl infront of me.. but day and night all i can think is about him.. i dont know what to do.. even he knows that it is his fault but he still ignores me.. he knows that i still love him with all my heart.. he ignores me.. he only says that he loves me when i met him. or somehow.. but he doesnt care.. he says i love too many girls and all that.. but i love him.. i still love him so much.. i can gave my life to him with a smile on my face,, but he doesnt even want to gave me death,,,, i know that he never loved me truely..and i do love him.. trying to forget him since 2 years .. but just cant forget him.. dont know what to do...

  1. daniel

    daniel

    Jul 22, 2005

    im 18 and really like a lass. but she doesnt like me in that way so she told me 2 distance myself. i cant forget about her though im 2 attached. i want 2 forget her and do other things but i cant cause i always just wanna be alone.

  1. Still confused

    Still confused

    Jul 27, 2005

    Hi all, I really understand how it feels like. My 1st true love was J and that was when I was 14 yrs old. Our relationship was very rocky due to religion, different characters etc. It lasted for 2 yrs. I decided to break off becos I know that I definitely can't be with him. I'm now 27, married with a good man and have 2 kids...and guess what..every now and then...I still think of J. I don't know why...I tried to get him out of my mind when the thought of him came, but it I can't and it is very disheartening. J is definately not a good guy but I cant seem to stop loving him...Funny right??! I guess that's life, we as human being just have to control our feelings and keep ourselves busy..it's really hard..I dont deny it..

  1. Andrew

    Andrew

    Aug 17, 2005

    Im going threw the same thing cept i need some help as well, im 22years old and im a small business owner one day a customer came in and i knew rite away id wanna get to know her, so we hit it off well went on a few dates its great i cant stop thinking about her, she called it off tho the 4th date said she doesnt like dating ppl threw business, but im going friggen crazy i cant stop thinking about her and i cant eat or sleep what can i do to help forget her?

  1. Old Man @ 48

    Old Man @ 48

    Sep 2, 2005

    It does not get any better as you grow older. Find your soul mate and don't let go, or suffer. I pray there's more than one soulmate. All the crap you hear in song and poetry about what love is supposed to be like is true. When you have it, it's fantastic. When u loss that...it's bad. Don't freak out, don't commit suicide, we need you here...focus on art, beauty, career, friends, music, put your efforts towards something good. All the best, from the old man in the same stew as you kids.

  1. Lina

    Lina

    Oct 16, 2005

    I can't forget someone too, but unfortunately he wasn't bad, he didn't do anything wrong to me so I can't blame him. This fact makes everything even harder and I don't even know if he still likes me or not. I have all his contacts but am too proud to write to him. I believe that it is really possible to forget someone as there is nothing impossible for humans but the question is should I let him go or try to return him back? He is wasn't my lover, he was like a soul mate.

  1. daluvofmylife

    daluvofmylife

    Oct 25, 2005

    OMG I understand how u feel I met someone 3 years ago & I can't forget him but unlike you I did not cut off our communication I was in another country and he was in ny and we agree that we will still be together when i get back we spoke on the phone everyday I really loved this guy but one night he told me to call him back and i couldn't because my parents came from ny & they didn't know about us so I called 3 days later and his phone was disconnected so I try for the whole month that I was there praying that his phone will come back on and it never did I was hurt when i came back to ny i saw his cousin the next day & i ask for him and they told me he was away he'll be back in a few days & his cousin ask me if I had a number so he could give him & I said no & till this day I hate myself for not giving him a number to reach me who cares what my parents would of said that was the love of my life and after 3 years going on 4 I can't get over him & here I am searching for him and this is what brought me to this site... I understand that you couldn't lie to your mother but that was the love of your life the person that made you happy the person that made even your rainy days feel like they where sunny but I would of never lost in touch with him i wish the love of my life could still tex me and call me but sometimes I say that maybe it wasn't meant to be or i don't know i try dating an being with other people but at the end no one compare to him ... & please forgive mefor saying this but ur mother is very selfish for not wanting you to be nobody love is part of life but my point is I feel your pain because I wake up and feel the same way u do I may have a smile on the outside but inside i'm hurting

  1. lolo

    lolo

    Nov 6, 2005

    Hi ,
    I was 23 when i loved this man too much , he let me to fell that iam in different part of the world & that iam his princess & only the one who he really loved . We got engaged to each other & then we broke up because his familly was pushing him to do this any way i fell that his love was week , now i dont know how can i forget him because i really loved too much he was the only man i've met him .

  1. Luis

    Luis

    Nov 12, 2005

    Don't worry you are not the only one here. We are so many the ones with broken hearts and there is nothing left but keep living. It's hard, it feels really deep is not just a puppy love is true love. I just wish life could be so much different for all us! Be strong! It's easy to say than to do it. I'm dying right now but my hopes are just to one day find a girl which i could give all my love and reacive the same from her and be happy.

  1. Cubanita

    Cubanita

    Nov 23, 2005

    Im in your same position and I understand you that its very hard, but the best advice is to socialize and go out. Take your mind of that person. Anyways dont beat yourself up for your decision if its meant to be God will put him on your way again and if its not then he will put someone better in your path.

  1. Lacey

    Lacey

    Dec 3, 2005

    I am 25 years old. I found the absolute love of my life 3 years ago, when I was 22. He is amazing and I do believe he's my soul mate. We are so made for each other. We were together for 6 1/2 months, then something happened. We couldn't talk to each other for 2 1/2 years. I suffered, missed him so much, thought about him in every single thing I did. Tried to start dating to forget about him.. you know the saying about if you love someone.. the best way to get over them is to find someone else.. NOT TRUE!!! Especially if it's TRUE LOVE. I screwed up every possible relationship I could, because I compared all of the guys I was dating, to him. But he FINALLY came back to me! It's a sticky icky situation at the moment, and although we are not physically together, we are together spiritually as we meet in dreams often. I know it sounds crazy.. and you're probably rolling your eyes saying "Yea, right.. pfffft"... but it's true. Soul mates do exist! You know, maybe it's not healthy to mess up your whole life waiting for someone that you love so much, but if it's TRUE LOVE, isn't it worth it??? Love is like an incurable disease... THERE IS NO CURE. So try and try to forget about him, but trust me.. you won't be able to. Your "mum" will forgive you one day if you go back to him, TRUST ME!!!! I PROMISE YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU LET HIM GO FOREVER! Take a chance, that is what life is all about!!!

  1. jacky

    jacky

    Dec 16, 2005

    well! i donīt speak English so well, but i can understand what's happening to you girl, something similar happened to me when i was your age...just think that itīs not the end of the world and that youīre young and beautiful...you can find someone better maybe not only one, i think many boys would like to be with you and you will have to choose one of them...another important thing is that you have to live your life in a correct way and donīt leave to pass the opportunity to love someone only because your mother doesnt permit you to do it...i would like to tell you more thing but i dont have enough vocabulary...so good luck and " Šnimo tu puedes hacer todo lo que te propongas... ya verŠs como lo olvidas" everything is in your mind you can forget him think about it.

  1. gaby

    gaby

    Dec 28, 2005

    Well my story begins in eight grade I met a guy. At first I hated this guy, he was really annoying, through out the year he would try to talk to me and I would just ignore him and walk away. The reason was because he had some friends that I really didnít like because the where mean and just played around with peoplesí feelings. So I thought that he was that kind of a person. So I did not wanted to socialize with this guy. The school year ended and I was home when the phone rang and it was this guy we started talking and I stared to know him and I found out that he was not that kind of person I thought he was. We became friends for 4 months and he knew I was with someone. He would tell me to leave this guy for him but I really like the other guy I left that guy weeks later because I found out he mess around with some girls. Later in this guy I met in eight grade ask me out and I said yes I still remember the date September 9, know we been dating for exactly 3 years and three months. We really connected at first. We had a lot of fun at the beginning of our relationship. But things change after a while we fight more often he change he does not care when I hurt as when we first dated. I feel that I give and give him everything to make him happy and satisfied. He does at times but he wants everything his way and if its not he is mad. The thing that hurts the more is that he does not care when I cry or when I want to talk to him about our relationship yall want to know what he say ď here we go with the some speech againĒ What should I do? I really love him.

  1. Lor

    Lor

    Dec 29, 2005

    True love comes but once in a lifetime. Some don't even find it at all so we must hold onto that. My story is quite different from those posted. I have always taken marriage as sacred until my best friend (also a good friend of my husbands) outside my marriage began opening doors to my heart I never knew existed and before we knew it we had fallen deeply in love. It was unexpected, it was surreal and something totally extraordinarily intense that my heart is forever shaken by it. I chose to stay in my marriage, giving up so that others could have. It has rocked my world and I know I will never forget him but I know we all need to focus on things of change, things we adore, things that make us happy and look forward while still keeping the memories alive because the past is not erasable. It is what shapes us into who we are today.

  1. Juan

    Juan

    Jan 8, 2006

    Well, my story i really pathetic... I fell in love with my best friend... I know her since I was like 13, and now I'm 17... But I've been feeling something i never felt before for any girl... All I can say about it is some part of a "The Police" song... I says everything exept one thing:
    She called me 3 days ago, and she very happy because she went back with her ex-boyfriend...


    Though Iíve tried before to tell her
    Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
    Every time that I come near her
    I just lose my nerve
    As Iíve done from the start

    I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day
    And ask her if sheíll marry me in some old fashioned way
    But my silent fears have gripped me
    Long before I reach the phone
    Long before my tongue has tripped me

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