It’s weird but i love him so much, we are getting married next August, but i feel i love him more than he does, he is over seas so our relationship is through the internet or the phone, and i feel he is always busy to talk to me, i know he works and every thing but on the weekend i know nothing about him but through out the week we talk cause he is always on line due to his work so i am able to talk to him, i just feel he is fed up with me, so i feel i love him more than he does, what shall i do? How can i deal with him? Shall i stay the same?
Nancy
Dear Nancy,
Distance relationships unfortunately don’t always work out. But before taking that for granted, you have to make sure whether this guy really loves you or not, whether he really is busy or not.
But one things is for sure, don’t get yourself into something you might regret, if you’re not 100% sure of all this relationship, or of his feelings towards you, then make that clear for him and get yourself out of this mess before you are in too deep.
comments
Nancy,
first i wanna say that my heart goes out for you chicky. i know how u must be feeling and all i can say is that it is pretty damn harsh!
Marriage is a lifetime commitment, it involves many important ingredients to make the perfect and final cake. You need to have love, respect, admiration, care and most importantly trust in each other. If you feel one of these ingredients is missing then the cake is almost never going to be perfect and complete.
You need to be aware of everything before you jump into such a serious step in your life. Maybe you need more time to know each other? Maybe you need time out for a while? Maybe you are just not suitable for each other and you may need to split and find some one else?
You really need to think and rethink a million times before making your final decision. and if he is acting all weird on you it may be because hes tired and had a bad week at work etc. otherwise he may just be in the same position as you doubting whether or not you are suitable for each other. There shud never be doubt in your relationship as that leads to lack of trust.
You need to talk to him, and solve these problems out before august. Make sure he is the right person and make sure none of the ingredients are missing from your side and his.
Take time and chill out. Yes no one is perfect and there may be many things that annoy u about him, however these minor annoyances can be overcome or tolerated if you really love him. Because wen u love some one, you know their good points and bad points and you love them for both points even if the bad points annoy you. Use them as a test and see if your love for him overcomes the bad points in him.
you must make sure that he is doing the same. marriage is a two way system and will never work if one is putting the effort and the other is slacking behind.
Good luck chick i hope this aint confused ya. think carefully and take your time. keep yer head up high and dont let no man treat u bad.
NO MAN IS WORTH A TEAR OF YOURS so never cry over any man.
best wishes from sarah : )
I met my boyfriend over the internet around july. we started talking on the phone around Thanksgiving. He has sent me mulitple pitures of himself and the same goes for me. We use to talk for hours each day. He told me that he loved me and there were noone else in his life. I love him with all my heart. Im 17 and he's 25 so hes busy with work and im busy with school. But he only works on the weekends....so if he loves me shouldnt he talk to me the rest of his time? he tells me that he loves me and that were going to meet in person in june. But now a days he goes days without talking to me and i cry cuz i love him so much it hurts not to talk to him. Should i break it off for good with him or should i wait it out? He tells me he loves me and hes just busy...but how can you be busy for 24 hours a day? Am i blind in this relationship? Or am i just too obsessed? Nancy HELP PLEASE!!! my heart depends on it....
Thanks in advance!
Kathleen
hi kathleen,
first i know u've probably heard this a million times, but internet dating is not really trustworthy. have u physically seen him in person on a web cam? or has he just sent you pictures?
you know internet dating is the most dangerous of all. he mite not want to meet u in person because he is not the same person as he made out on the net. becareful kathleen, u really need to know this person inside out bakc to front before even thinking about meeting up with him. the age difference is a worry, most people on the net make out that they are younger than they really are, therefore instead of meeting a 25 year old u cud be meeting up with a 35 year old if he even bothers meeting up.
please please please rethink before meeting him or contuning the relationship.
If any guy is hurting u directly or indirectly they obviously dont love u enough to understand your feelings and to understand what hurts and what doesnt. do u really want to spend time with a bloke who seems careless towards ur feelings?
hope it all goes well chicky and do post a comment again to tell us how u got on! take care and good luck.
sarah : )
Nancy,
i'm not gonna say dont worry, because u have to worry .. distant relationships are hard, but if love truly exists between you guys then you can overcome anything .. i know that from what i'm going thru now .. so, if u guys r getting married. then you guys should be very close . you guys should be 2 bodies but 1 person . so . i suggest that you tell him what you're feeling . and tell him that you want to know what's wrong. then tell him you dont care if he has bad news . (even though u do care) . so, in conclusion .. i think you should just be honest if he truly is your other half .. so yeah. Good Luck with that .. i hope it works out .
P.S : ALWAYS BE HONEST WITH YOUR LOVED ONE ! ALWAYS !
Dear Nancy,
Trust me .. leave him and go along ur way.. I dont want to hurt ur feelings but I think a person like that... dont deserve u .. How they tell every time u go far away from him .. he will come to u .. if he loves u.. I wiLL tell u something: Love is like a quick sand the deeper u fall the harder it is to get out.. Hope u understood me.. Good luck!
Dear Nancy,
I know that this is not an easy at all, but you need to be very wise on taking your decision about this matter. It's not a relations that's going to be for a day or two, it's going to last for a life time.
Good luck
dear nacey
how do you now if someone loves you? i have loved this man sam for 3 months but how do i now that he feels the same way?
hi im an 18 yr old lesbian and iwas wondering ok if an ex calls u while there girl ain'tthere is that like weird i mean cuz my ex did that and im like ok she is callin to talk as more then a friend lolcuz if she was callin as just a friend you'd think she'd call while her girl was there i mean hell she was in love with me we talked bout marriage and all that and she called me a week after we broke up telling me she missed me and when she call like a few weeks ago to talk to my friend the phone got passed to me first and she sounded sad and i mean u don't just go around saying im in love with u if ur not ya know and she was crying on the phone telling me she was in love with me ya know and so i know she still loves me hell b4 she got with this new girl she was telling me not to move on and to not give up on her like every one else ya know so how do i get her to admit she still loves me with out just comeing out and saying it ? if u can help let me know thanks
My boyfriend of three years tells me that I'm everything he wants, and that he loves me but if I'm looking to get married it will never happen and that he loves me enough to respect my decisions should I decide to leave him. What is he trying to tell me here? Is, this his way of trying to break it to me gently? I'm 27 and he is 33 and he has been married twice with a child. His firt marriage was not love but to give the baby a name, the second marriage his wife came home one day and said she wanted a divorce, he pleaded with her for them to go to counceling and she declined. Do, you think he can change? And, should I say anything to him about the way he feels, other then just excepting the fact that he says he loves me, and does not want to be with anyone else and just take it day to day and see if the future will end up in marriage? I am almost 95% positive he will never get married again. Or, could this be his way of nicely saying don't waste your time on me your younger and I have already been their,done that so go on with your life. Please, help? Any info you can share would be welcomed. Thanks again, Linda
I have had a tough time lately...there is a man who is seemingly in love with me...tells me that he wants to take care of me and be close, but he is 8 hours away. I like him very much, love is very hard for me because I have been through so much with men. I am currently pregnant as a result of an assault...he seemingly wants this, and I have known him for about a year. My parents do not know of him yet (no worries, I am 21, he is 24), but they always worry when I talk about men, especially when we can't physically date. I don't want to rule him out, but I am scared right now-he is a good friend whom I'd like to continue with being, it just makes me sad to say I can't see him.
All the while, there is another man whom i have known for well over 2 years, and have loved since the moment I met him. I think about him constantly, and we have kissed, and dated a couple of times (again 8 hours away-I went to college over there). He lives in the tiny town my grandfather does, so I see him when I visit. Problem with this is, I don't know how he feels about me-Every time I see him, he gives me a big hug, but I know it is hard because at first I thought he was the same as other guys I knew-kiss, tell, move on to the next girl. I didn't want this, so I blew him off unknowingly. He is very much different- and now I regret this horribly...he still seems to like me when we see each other, but I don't know what to do!!! Arg, maybe I should just quit and start all over with men-its just very difficult when you are 8 months pregnant, single, and scared...and your sister is in the process of getting married...AHH!
confused!
Hi
I'm so much in love with this guy whom i met through someone else,but we got involved before we could met face to face,on the phone and on the net.we live far away from each other and we comunicate only on phone and internet,but the problem is i'm not sure anymore if he loves me as i do love him.When we met we did liked each other and agreed to continue with the relationship and now its 8 month of our relationship,and we hardly see each other,,,,,sometimes when i just thought maybe he doesnt love me anymore,thats when he tells me that he loves me so much,and i get so much confused!sometimes i find it hard to understand him,i once asked him if he want to break up with me,to do so,but he told me that he loves me so much,and he cant think of doin that and apologise for being nud on me.And i believed him because i love him,now we are goin to meet up on december and i dont know if its a good idea to continue with him,but all the time when i call him,he tells me that he loves me,n when he's sending me emails he's tellin me the same,but my self i hardly tells him,because i just think maybe he dosnt mean it!I truly love him so dearly and willing to go far with him,and he's the first guy i ever loved and the guy i wnat him to take way my virginity,since i'm still a virgin,is this a good idea?
please help!
hi my name is mary and ive been wiith this guy for about 11 months(almost a year!)but the thing is that I'm getting so attached that sometimes when he does something really wrong and hurtful I forget about it right away...my friends say he treats me worse than he should and that i forgive him too easily but I dont believe them because i think im in love. What should i do..?
i finished my boyfriend off 8 and half months to go out with my best mates ex. we lasted a month and a half. we fell out, n in this space of time i got raped. people are telling me that i made it up just because the lad me n my best mate both love is telling me he loves me and wants another us! i dont know what to do coz i just f**ked all dat up, and i dont think i can cope wit losing him again! plz help