Two years ago when i was still in college I got acquainted to a very cute and charming girl, we built a strong friendship (me, her and another friend) we promised one another that nothing will break as apart. No day passed without seeing each other. we did every thing together (reading, going out, etc…). Then came a day when she told us that some one has asked for her hand and that he is living abroad, she asked about our opinion and we told her that it is she who should choose.

She accepted the guy and they got engaged and we attended their party. And it was just then that I discovered that i love her but I couldn't tell her. After that her fiancée went back to Germany to arrange for her coming. He was a good guy and he understood our friendship and respected it. He spent six months there. During this period we graduated and she found a job with a British company here in Iraq.

When she began working she slightly changed we couldn't see her daily as usual but our relationship remained strong, she used to tell me every thing about her life and everything facing her. And one day she told me that she doesn't like her fiancée and that she will break up with him when he comes back to Baghdad, I told her that she must be patient, and that her fiancée is a good man and he loves her. But she did what she wanted and she broke up with him. I discovered later that she has a relationship with an English man who is 42 years old and that he converted to Islam to marry her. When I knew that I became angry, she really surprised me, I never expected her to do such a thing, I couldn't sleep for days I really love her. And when I told her about her relation with that English man and I scolded her for that, she blamed me and she said that it was my fault because I didn't ask for her hand and that she loves me.

I decided to quit with her and never talk to her or meet her again. But she called me and she began to cry, she said that she would do every thing I want in order to remain with her. But her deed really hurt me. I told her that i love her but I can't marry her because of my dignity, i can't live with a woman who had a relationship with another man. I tried to convince myself but i couldn't. I really love her. She will marry that English man and they will go to London. This whole thing is hurting me, I can't imagine my life without her but yet I can't do anything. Her reputation is damaged, and I can't live with shame.
I love her. I don't know what to do.

ABO

Answer:

Dear ABO:

If you can’t get over your “dignity” problem, then you wont go anywhere with your love for her! You either forget all what has happened, or forget about your “dignity” and go to her before she gets married!