Falling in Love with my Best Friend

By H.A.R. on Apr 12, 2005


I've liked this girl for a while, we’re pretty good friends, but I think I’m starting to fall for her. My friends have been urging me to tell her how I feel about her, but I don’t want her to feel awkward and ruin the friendship we have. So should I tell her or not and if so do you have any tips?


Dear Vic,
You should try to give her hints about your true feelings, and see how she reacts. If things go well, tell her how you feel directly and that you don’t want that to ruin your friendship. Tell her that your friendship should be the basis to a further relationship.

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  1. Zaid


    Apr 14, 2005

    dear vic

    look man.. thers something about guys u need to understand.. if u spend too much time with ANY girl .. at some point .. u'll think u r in love with her.. u shouldn't have such feeling for her since she trusts u as a friend. u do not have such feelings .. u'r heart is lost .. its obvious u r a nice guy and u care for her. and i advice u not NOT to tell her ...
    BUT .. its u'r decision... if u insist on telling her.(which is not smart) add me on msn. my e-mail is precious_honesty@hotmail.com i can help u bring it to her in the most tender way possible(though i do not encorage u)



  1. sirine


    Apr 15, 2005

    look ......... If you are sure about her feelings
    tell her cause she might like or love u 2 .............and this is the right time to tell her .. if you don't you might lose her cause she won't wait a long time for you .....
    trust me and go on and tell her ..

  1. Mark


    May 8, 2005

    Hey Vic,

    I'm in the same predicament. I've been good friends with this girl I've met in class two years ago. We've gotten to know one another well and we share the same interests and goals in life. The problem with my situation is that she has a boyfriend. But that hasn't stopped us from being friends. She enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers. Our semester is almost over and she's going to transfer in the Fall to another college. Recently, she has given me subtle hints that she wants to keep in touch in a more personal level. But this confused me because shortly, I saw her walking hand-to-hand with her boyfriend. I shrugged it off though. But even though she's with another, the times she and I were together alone were magical. Her relationship with me as a friend was just as meaningful as if she were an actual girlfriend, maybe better, even though we're not physically intimate.

    My point is, I may never see her again after this semester. I cannot read whether or not she feels the same way as I do her. When final exams are over, I'm going to tell her how I feel. The reason? Life is too short ( I know a cliche) but who knows if I'll ever see her in this lifetime again? I do NOT want to live the rest of my life regretting not ever letting her know how I truly feel for her. But that's my point of view. I don't know how it is for you. If you're in a situation that you, too, may never have the chance to tell her and you regret it for the rest of your life, I suggest you let it out.

    Best of luck

  1. Angie


    May 13, 2005

    Hi Vic,

    I am falling in love with my best friend as well. We have been best friends since we were 14 and we are 24 now. We have never been intimate until about a month ago. We've always said that when we are 30 we will get married if we are both single. Well, now I am wanting him sooner than that. It's really driving me crazy inside because I've never thought I'd feel this away about him. I've asked so many people what they think I should do and I get all kinds of different answers so now I'm more confused than I was in the beginning. The best advice I got was from my mom. I know that's kinda cheezy but my mom gives good advice. She says to just follow my heart and not listen to what everyone else is telling me. If it feels right, do it. If it doesn't maybe you should hold back for a little while until the timing feels better. I am going to try to tell my friend over the weekend how I feel but I'm going to wait until I see how things feel when I see him.
    Good luck with your situation and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. You should post on here to let us all know how it goes.

  1. Angie


    May 18, 2005

    So, I talked to my friend this weekend. He actually brought it up. He feels the same way as I do. :) We are both really scared going into this because of how strong our friendship is. He said that i am the only thing he has ever been successful with and he doesn't want to screw that up now. He lives in a different city than I do. It's only about an hour and a half but we only get to see each other about every other weekend. We are going to take it slow in the beginning and just see how it feels before we dive to far into. That way we have a better chance of being able to go back to friends if we need to. I want him to move here or me move there but then I'm thinking we shouldn't do anything drastic yet. I'm going to give it a few months and see how it feels. How is your situation going?


  1. Ryan


    May 22, 2005

    I really understand your situation. I am 14 and I have known this girl since I was in pre-school. I know everyone will say that I am 14 and I have no idea what true love is, but I think I know. I do not know if she likes me the way I like her. I am afraid to tell her because I know she will get freaked out. Everytime she goes out with another guy I just get so mad at myself. I know she will never like me the same way. I hope everything works out for you. I have no idea what to do. I know I am so young but it feels like this is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life. Good Luck!!!

  1. Giselle


    May 22, 2005

    Hi Angie,
    I was really inspired reading your post. I'm in the exact situation except for we haven't been intimate yet. I am 21 and he's 22. So we'll be in your shoes shortly. We too have the whole "when I'm 30 and single" promise. I love him and his family dearly. I think I'll wait it out till I feel the timing is better and hopefully it'll turn out like your story.
    Good luck, "nothing better than marrying the person you can't live without rather than one you can live with."


  1. Mandy


    Jun 4, 2005


    I understand I'm i'm love with my Best friend. I've liked him for along time but I'm afraid to ask him out since we've been friends since kindergarten.I think he'll freak out and our friendship will be ruined! does anyne have any advice? If so email at peanutbutter722@aol.com

  1. D


    Jun 4, 2005

    Me and my Best friend have known eachother since we were in diapers and now I think I'm in love but everytime I get the guts t ask her she goes out with some guy. and I get really overprotected. I have no idea how I should handle this please help

  1. sbchi


    Jun 4, 2005

    I am in a similar situation with my best friend. He and I have been really close friends since 14 (were 23) and I was always open with how I felt about him. The problem was that I know that I am not really his type and vice versa, that's why we never officially dated, althought when we were teens we did things that couples do, nothing too intimate, but we'll just say halfway to second base. We've always been extremely close, at 16 my family moved the the other side of the country and he came to live with me after he finished highschool. We're truly best friends. As the years past we've both found someone, gotten married, and even have children close in age(3 altogether). But as of this year his marriage fell apart and mine is on extremely rocky ground. Anyway, at this time that I have been helping him cope through his ordeal while dealing with my own, I've noticed my feeling starting to re-surface. I am scared to death because I know obviously this is a really bad time (for both of us) for me to have these feelings. But I can't help it. I don't know how to push them aside and everytime I see him (which is almost daily) I want to just grab him, kiss him, and tell him how I feel....but I can't.I know I never stopped being attracted to him, but now it's starting to cloud my mind in a different way, and I don't know what to do, or even how to make it stop.

  1. Jane


    Jun 8, 2005

    I was really happy to have found this site and I hope that I can get some kind of good advice from it. Here goes.

    "C" and I have been best friends for about 20 years now (I'm 26 and he's 25). We both have summer houses in upstate New York and that is where we met. Back when we were 14 and 15 years old, we dated for one summer and he truly was my first love. Things got complicated due to the distance between us, I live in New Jersey and he lives in New York, and at that young age, it was hard to see each other. For some time, we went back and forth with each other and more often than not, it was always me calling it quits or unknowingly hurting him. For the past 3 1/2 years, we have only seen each other three times but we still talk all of the time, sometimes everyday, all day. He is the one person who makes me feel happy no matter how sad I might be, he makes me laugh, he listens and we have great chemistry. We also have a pact to get married at 30, which was a pact that we made almost 10 years ago and now 30 seems to be right around the corner! Anyway, we saw each other last weekend and we kissed. It was the best kiss that I have ever had and the entire time that we were kissing, I was thinking 'God, I love this boy'. I even told him that I loved him and he said that he loved me too. I know that you are reading this and thinking to yourself, 'so, what's the problem?'...well, I will tell you what the problem is. No matter how long I've known him, no matter how things are between us most of the time, no matter how things were back years ago when we dated, there are still so many times when we are together that I feel extremely nervous! Sometimes, I cannot even look at him, that's how nervous I get. It freaks me out, because here I am 26 years old and when I get around this guy, who I have known pretty much my entire life, I feel like I am this awkward teenager again! Why is this? I mean, he is everything that I would want in the person that I spend my life with and I often times think about how things would be if we did go through with our pact, but at the same time, I have no idea what these feelings I have really are. Do I love him? Am I just scared of hurting him again, like I seem to be so good at doing? Honestly, I think that might be some of the reason, since a lot of the time, I don't think that I am good enough for him. He is such an amazing person and he deserves the best. Maybe that's why I have all of these reservations.

    I don't know, I am just so confused. Does anyone out there relate to what I'm talking about? Can anyone shed some light on my situation? We are supposed to meet up again this weekend and I have no clue how I should handle any of this!

    Thanks in advance for the help! ; )

  1. Dave


    Jun 10, 2005

    like all of you, i too have fallen in love with my best friend. we are both 20 and met through a mutual friend the first semester of college a little over 2 years ago. we started out as accquiantances who only knew eachother through someone else but eventually became best friends. she tells me i am the one guy in the world she truely trusts, and the only person she trusts besides her best friend from home. she's been sending out the mixed signals for the past few months, and we also have a "get married at 27" pact instead of 30. we get along so well and tell eachother everything. im just afraid to tell her how i feel in case she doesnt feel the same way. however reading angie's story has given me hope, and over the weekend i've decided to just do it and tell her how i feel. like some of the other posters have said, my mom gave me the best advice. she said that if i loved her and if it was worth risking our friendship for, then i had to do it or i would spend my entire life wondering what if. i'll let you all know how it goes

  1. cubero


    Jun 10, 2005

    wow its quite amazing how many people have gone through similiar whirlwinds. i met my bestfriend P when we were 14...haha seems like 14 is the popular number around this site.i dated his friend insincerly for a month and then somehow P and i became friends..we were close, we had our own friends but we were each others rock. then i moved to another country when i was 17,we lost touch for a cpl of months and didnt write to each other as much for another year....but it wasnt as important in my mind because i thought we were so connected the distance didnt matter..then he moved to a country near me.....i loved him and i knew he loved me, what more could u want. ...at 19 i moved away from home to another city...weeks later he calls me to see how im doing....and tells me he is seeing someone......my world slipped......painful weeks went by before i mustered the courage to tell him how i felt....he was confused but he said he was with her now but couldnt bear the thought of losing me and wanted me to change the way i felt. easier said than done...broke my heart and some of my soul.i didnt speak to him for 6 months...his gf moved away and they broke up.... i flew to the his city to see a friend, he came down the next day to see him...after those years apart..seeing him in person again...all that anger and pain and bitterness and dissapointed melted....course i wasnt fine...but it wasnt bad....we spent time together for two weeks, he had tears welling up in his eyes when i left..its been 2 years since then.....we are in our twenties..8 years since we met...do i love him, did i love him, will i love him agn..i dunno...thats not so important anymore.....we are not together and we might never be..but i can live with that...i can be content by saying he is still my best friend...i am his.......we are still each other's rocks....and sometimes thats good enough

  1. dana


    Jun 19, 2005

    hey ,
    as all of you have, i have just fallen in love with my best friend. I knew him for two years now and it would have never appeared to me that we would go beyond friendship. We really like eachother but we Can't seem to start a relationship because our other friends would feel weird.All of my good friends like him too so if i went out with him, I would feel like a bad friend.
    Honestly i don't have an idea what to do. He's coming over tonight and something might happen and i don't know if i am going to make the right decision or not.


  1. za


    Jun 19, 2005

    I am very surprised that I will post my feelings on this website. Funny, but yes, I fell for my bestfriend too. I don't even remember if we became best friends because I liked him, or we just got along well. I knew him in grade 7, I was 11 then. Now I am 24. I think he was the first guy I ever had feelings for. I remember bringing a camera to school and taking photos of him for fun. We became very close throughout the years, and my feelings for him grew stronger day by day. I used to write him a journal everyday when I was 14, because I didn't know how to express my feelings to him, but he never read my journal. Then at 15, I had to move to another country. We kept in touch still, but as time went by, we contacted less and less. But every few years, I will still see him back home and we would hang out and have fun together. Everytime I see him, I get very excited and happy. I know maybe it's just because he is my best friend and I am happy to see him, so I brushed away the feelings everytime. I also controlled myself for all these years because I have been dating my present boyfriend for almost 8 years now, so I feel very guilty to admit that I still love my best friend very much. The turning point of this whole thing came last Christmas. I went back home (without my boyfriend) and basically spent 2 entire weeks everyday with him. It seemed like each day we would come up with some activity or some excuse to see each other. It was such an eye opening experience because before seeing him that time, I gave myself many reasons why he would not be the guy for me, then suddenly at christmas all the flaws I found in him just kind of disappeared, he just seemed to be a different person. Since we are older now, we did things different than what we did as kids. We went out drinking, and when I got a little tipsy, somehow we started holding hands. It might not seem a big deal, but to have someone who you always wanted hold you, the feeling is very good. Since it was christmas time, we spent a lot of time together partying, and each time I would end up by his side, holding him and stuff. Then one weekend, we went away on a trip with our other close friends. All of our friends shared a bed, and somehow I ended up beside him. We finally kissed that night, and it all felt so natural. We hugged for the night, and nothing further happened. Because my other friends had to go home early, and I had to stay to meet up with my family, it was up to him to stay or leave. He chose to stay with me, so I was very happy. That day I pretty much spent the rest of the day with him like a couple. Once we returned home, we still saw each other, and we would do couple things occasionally. My trip was only two weeks, so when I had to go back I cried so much and missed him so much. We continued emailing one another everyday for a while, until he got busy or uninterested. I didn't complain because I knew I had a boyfriend and shouldn't be so greedy, so I let it be. I was so happy that my dream came true, and wished it would carry on a little longer. Then last month, I decided to come home again to get a summer internship. I was hoping the christmas dream would carry on and we would continue living in fantasyland, but i was delusional. I think I was the only one who wanted everything to happen, he actually wasn't interested at all. This time I came back, I still see him every weekend and we hang out and stuff. And everytime I get to drink, I will use that as an excuse to get close to him, and everytime he would still hold me tight. But last friday it finally struck. He told me to stop giving him shit, and because I felt I didn't do anything to annoy him, I felt very pissed and took a cab home by myself. He called me last night and told me he was actually very annoyed at my behaviour recently and listed all the reasons why he said what he said. He basically told me how he didn't like me teasing about him and his work, and how he spends so much time with this collegues. I never meant to say those stuff as real things, I guess I just wanted his attention, and I thought jokes are meant to be jokes, and never even considered that it annoyed him so much. Come to think of it, I think he is more annoyed with the fact that I like him, and he feels pressured to return the feelings. I never asked him to love me back and I know he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. I am going to talk about this 'issue' with him tomorrow in person, because I think I need to find closure. Would this hurt our friendship? I think it definately altered the relationship. I don't think I can face him just yet without bitterness. I really understand it hurts a lot when you find love in the wrong places. I wish I never came back to 'carry on' my dream, because I think the drama caused me more pain than gain. Will he ever be close to me as before..i don't know. I hope anyone who falls for their bestfriend will have a better ending than me because I really don't want to see our long friendship fall apart because of a dream that was better left as a dream. All I can say now is that, my heart really hurts. I will talk to him tomorrow and hopefully I will find closure.


  1. jes


    Jun 21, 2005

    I too am starting to fall for someone that I most likely shouldn't be... we have been roommates for the last two months, both very mature, have professional careers and I'd have to say she is my best friend at this time. We have a tremendous amount of things in life in common and spend most of our free time together, not intamate in any way, but we spend a LOT of time together. She does have a long distance boyfriend that doesn't know what he wants. She has dropped an occasional comment and the way we look at each other makes me think there is something more there, we can just look at each other and bust out laughing for 15 minutes at the silliest thing... part of me wants to ask her flat out, the other half just wants to say nothing and see what happens.

  1. Za


    Jul 3, 2005

    Maybe sometimes staying best friends isn't that bad afterall. I told him that I loved him, he didn't feel the say way, so I resented him, hated him for not loving me back. I changed my attitude around him for a while, stopped calling him for a week, but then I realized I just missed my best friend. I think I can give him unconditional love, but maybe just not in a romantic way. Come to think of it, do we all need so much drama in life? or can we be satisfied and cherish what we already have. Let's hope you all get what you want, or at least don't feel that depressed if you don't get what you want. Afterall, having a dear friend in life means a lot, and being able to go through life's problem with someone who you know will be there for you might not be so bad afterall. Having him/her as you bf/gf might not be the best thing because then who can you whine to about your significant other...haha =D cheers everyone!

  1. Frame


    Jul 3, 2005

    I met my best friend. A year and half ago.
    I'm in my late twenties. She is everything to me. When you talk to somebody and you feel like you have known them all your life in one smile..You have a beautiful thing. If you are inlove with her, tell her. I did and at the time she knew and we struggled with this..But we worked it out. You have to for the friendship. You have to be honest with those you are closest to. If you are honest you have nothing to fear. It'll be hard, you could have something deeper that goes beyong just being inlove. Love is blind, Frindship closes its eyes.
    Ask yourself are you in love with her or the concept of being inlove? If its her then..just do it. She will be glad you told her. If the friendship is solid it will last regardless of what you put infront of it. The whole lets get married when we are 30 thing is an indication that two people are inlove with each other ..just not ready at the present for what it could mean. A beautiful relationship or a close friendship. Its a gamble..But one worth taking. Maybe in this life time maybe not. Either way she is still there for you. and you for her.

  1. Frame


    Jul 4, 2005

    P.S One of the most amazing things you can experience in this life is the first kiss between you and your best friend. Seriously, nothing can compare. Good luck.

  1. za


    Jul 8, 2005

    I went out with my best friend today again. I thought I had no more feelings for him, but he always sends mixed signals to me. He keeps repeating what I said when I was drunk last weekend...what is wrong with him? I kept telling him last week "It's ok, i'm not drunk, I don't love you anymore", and at that moment I really thought I will just be friends with him. I think I already am very neutral when I am around him, but i still think I am always a little sensitive still, I care about what he thinks of me and about me. Man are bastards eh....the more I try to be neutral, the more he tries to push my buttons....o well..I will continue being 'normal', why ruin the friendship rite?

  1. shawn


    Jul 29, 2005

    im in the same situation.ive been best friends with her for 3 years.ever since we met i loved her.3 years of heartbrake i cant take it sometimes so ignore certain things.she says im like her brother.so i know she doesent feel the same.but love is still in my heart for her.you should just tell her how you fell insted of screwing up like i did.cause the first 2 years of frinedship she was in love with me to but no more.so tell her as soos as you get done reading this dont wait and dont debate just tell her how much love you feel for her it will turn out how faith wants it which is the way you make it.tell her now or regret it for the rest of your life im trying to save you from a regreted life jus tell her and youll feel alot better.

  1. In Love with Friend

    In Love with Friend

    Aug 1, 2005

    I would say tell her you love her. I am in love with my best friend. And I have been for 4 years. I told him right away, but he didn't feel the same way toward me. It hurt I was pissed off at him for a month. I hardly talked to him and that was hard because we went to such a small school and I was good friends with his sister too. But then we started talking again and our friendship was good again. I definatley dont regret telling him, it actually made our friendship stronger. I still love him to this day and I dont think he realizes it anymore. I also have moved on I am with another guy, but I still think about "George". But tell her you will regret it much more if you dont. And do it soon. Good Luck and let us know how it goes.

  1. Kathleen


    Aug 2, 2005

    I'm actually on the other side of a situation like this where I'm falling for my best friend and everyone says he likes me too but he's too shy to tell me. You really should tell her about the way you feel because you never know if she may be waiting for you to say it and feeling the exact same way. Plus, there's a pain in waiting to find out if someone likes you back that is just has great has the pain of getting turned down. The only caution that I have is that if she turns you down try your hardest to be cool about it and try not to ruin your friendship.

  1. RJ


    Aug 3, 2005

    It's comforting to know how many people are going through the same exact thing I am because before I thought it was just me who had to deal with this immense pain. I'm 15 and I've known this girl for about 2 years.

    She was suicidal at the time I met her and I helped her through that. She went through a whole lot of messed up things in her life that I also guided her through.

    Along the way, I realized she was all that I've got. She became everything to me. Eventually (pretty recently) I decided to tell her about how I felt. Nothing much came out of it other than her saying she felt bad because she couldn't return the feelings.

    I always feel like I'm on the side lines as I watch her go through so many guys (all of which end up hurting her) getting her heart broken every single time. It's always painful when I have to picture her with another guy being happy. I want her to be happy, but it's just too much to envision that type of thing. I used to sit there listening to her sexual experiences with other guys (she told me because she tells me everything) just cringing.

    Although now she stopped telling me about the other guys in her life, it still hurts because ignorance isn't bliss when you have a gut feeling that she's with one of them.

    I still hang on to hope though, that one day she'll realize I was the only one not trying to get close to her for sex..

  1. Amanda


    Aug 6, 2005

    I know you're going to say I'm too young (I'm 16), but it all started when me and this guy James met and he started helping me through my darkest time I've had to go through yet. That was over 3 years ago. Which isn't much, but if you know how connected we are and how undeniably close we are, you'd see it.

    It was a month ago since he told me that he was IN LOVE with me, not just loved me. Because there is a difference. He told me about how amazing I was and that he just loved everything about me.

    A little over two weeks ago, we decided to try going out and see what happens. At first it was very awkward, and neither of us really knew how to act. Should we be acting different? Or should we treat each other like we had before?

    A week later, I got used to it. I liked it, I loved it. I told my friends and my family, and everyone seemed to like the idea, thought we were "cute."

    Now, I am glad we are more. I think I am starting to feel for him the way he has about me. All I can do is hold on and keep it for as long as I can, but to also keep the realization that if it doesn't work, we can stop it before we reach a point where we'd be too hurt to turn back. We can always go back to being just friends and be comfortable knowing that we are meant to be just friends, nothing more.

    So I say, at least try it. You only live once, and you don't want your life to be full of regrets. That is unless you want to keep asking yourself forever if there was anything more between you two.

  1. kathryn


    Aug 9, 2005

    hey sup everyone, i am turning 18 in two days and i've decided that i'm in love with my best friend. i always have been in a sense even thiugh i've been in other relationships... i've known him for five years and i'm still a little too chicken to say that i have been falling for him kinda on and off for years.. i think i should say something but like all of you i am much to shy to say anything, and i think it woud be a little akward sense he;s kinda like a brother to me, and my friendship with him is a lot more important to me... cept i'm sure most of us if not all of us know what love is, i think i'm gonna attack soon... and i think you all should go for it because what do you got to lose i guess...?.... if he/she says no then you can continue being friends and if you can't continue being friends then maybe the friendship just wasn't meant to be... lifer is short i try to take advantage of it, and it is nice to know that people are going throgh the same thing... weird huh? weird stuff

  1. Edward


    Aug 9, 2005

    Around a year ago I started a new job and about a month later a female temp started, Katie, and a couple of months later she became permanent. It became obvious to me that we just clicked, we could talk about anything and everything and there were so may occasions when I would be feeling down about something and she would just pull me out of it with a few words. No-one else on earth has the power to do this.

    Before we'd got close I knew she had a boyfriend, so it wasn't as if I suddenly found out that piece of information when it was too late, I just accepted that fact. We started going on work drinks with everyone else and people always used to comment on how much of a couple we looked, both people who met us for the first time and people who had known us a while.

    Before long me and her started to go out regularly with a couple from work, and she split up with her boyfriend. The female half of the other couple would often make comments to me about saying something. Plus I knew she was planning to leave the job as the boss was an idiot. So I asked her out. Except I chose an innapropriate time - a few days after she had split up with him. So I had to eat a bowl of rejection washed down with a sprinkle of cliché - "I'm flattered" "I really like you" etc. But surprisingly things between us were the same.

    It turned out their relationship was on-off and it became on again shortly after. Then she left the job after the boss did what can only be described as a bit of nasty bullying.

    We stayed in touch and continued going out drinking, and then the space from her made me realise that perhaps going after a girl who keeps taking back a bad boyfriend was fruitless.

    With nothing to lose I started going after this girl who was WAY out of my league at work, Alison. She knew how close me and Katie were and somehow I think that made her trust me more. One Monday she emailed me and invited me for a drink with a few others on Friday. I accepted and all week I was excited about it. Then on the Friday morning itself she suggested I invited Katie. Confused slightly but I did, and the three of us went there. Cutting a long story short, Alison and I started kissing on the night out and Katie saw this and stormed off. We went after her but could catch her. Then I went back to Alison's place and some "stuff" happened.

    The next day Katie rang and I, for some stupid reason, told her what happened in detail. She seemed fine with it, more concerned with how things would be at work between me and Alison.

    Then two days ago Katie texted me asking me to a concert with her. We went and had a great night, after the gig we went on somewhere and I kept looking at her and thinking "I truly love this girl". We went back to my place and shared my bed naked but nothing happened. But since then I had properly admitted to myself that I am IN love with her.

    She has a boyfriend who although she always moans about, must have something as she keeps taking him back. He never lets her go out, and when she does he accuses her of sleeping around. "He makes my life a misery" were her words.

    So I don't know what to do, she's the girl of my dreams but I don't think she feels the same way about me. I like her that much that I dare not tell her my feelings (again) because I'd rather continue our close friendship than risk driving her away. It may be a little cowardly but the thought of not having her in my life doesn't bare thinking about.

  1. cris


    Aug 12, 2005

    Hi Vic,

    Reading this reflects my own situation. I have known this girl for about 5 years, and we've been pretty close even when she left to study overseas. Initially i felt and treated her just as a friend, then we started to become best friends to the point i can't really tell if we are more than best friends sometimes. She is now working in another country and i can help but feel like i am falling for her cos i am missing her so much.

    My point is till now i cant make up my mind whether to risk it or not by telling her how i am feeling. The problem is i feel its a lose-lose situation, if i were to say something she might not feel the same way and i lose my best friend. If i keep silent, someone else might fall for her. So my advice is if u really like her say something, but gradually not directly. Anyways all the best to u, hope everything works out

  1. Rose


    Sep 5, 2005

    "What is essential is invisible to the eyes"-Le Petit Prince. One of my favorite quotes, and surprisngly, fits my situation quite perfectly. I fell for my best-friend D, we've been friends for the past four years. But recently, he tried to hook me up with his friend B, and well, it sounds horrible but I think I might have used B, to get to D, to make him realize what he was missing, maybe subciously not intentionally, only discerned later after the fact. But of course, I'm the only one who got hurt, because I ended up falling for B. But I don't know, one night we met up, under the stars...and it was one of the most romantic nights of my life, but then he got scared and he just stopped, calling, we stopped talking, and I needed answers so I confronted him. But still I didn't get my answers, and in this whole process, I was so distraught, my true feelings about D, came out. And now I'm more confused then before, trying to decipher who I love more, and if there is anyway to be with one without hurting the other, or jeopardizing their relationship. But see, D is with someone else, and it hurts me to have to listen about her, and it doesn't help that she shares so many similarities to me, it makes me wonder, where the difference lies? It's very complicated!

  1. Tina


    Oct 6, 2005

    I was in the same situation.
    I did tell the guy I was with about my feelings for him, although he just ended his previous relationship. We are not together, however it has been 5-6 months already and nothing has chaged with our friendship. There was no awkwardness, and we are still really close. I say, you've got nothing to lose. If you that good of friends with her, even if she doesnt feel the same way, your friendship wont miss a beat. It might hurt if she says no, but just imagine how great it would be if she said yes. Good Luck!

  1. kara


    Oct 10, 2005

    i have fallen in love w/ my best friend whom i have known since 1969. we have been great friends, have been in touch each month or 2 calling and seeing each other at class reuninons. Both married and our spouses tolerate and have accepted our friendship and we have been out socially , the four us. Just this past week i admitted how i,ve felt for many years. He has always felt the same. I'm feeling like i have NEVER felt as is he. It is wonderful and frightening. People would be hurt by this, people we truly love. Will take it all as it comes and pray we make the right decisions.

  1. Chris


    Oct 12, 2005

    Ok i have read all your posts, and i have been in the same situation, and what i want to recommend to you guys and remind you is that these people are your best friends - the ones that understand you the most, the ones that are there for you whenever you need them, and they are the most precious people in life, and something like a small crush can ruin that. If you are a teenager i would say - no matter what your feelings are, try to get over it because i have learnt that a friendship is much more important than a boy/girlfriend. If you are an adult, you must be 100% sure that they feel the same way before you do anything, because it is extremely difficult to 'go back to the way things were' after something like this has changed it. Please people, it might feel right to tell them that you love them more than a friend, but take some time apart and get over those feelings, because i almost lost the freindship with a girl because of a crush on her and couldnt bear being without her as a friend.

  1. ahmed


    Oct 14, 2005

    i love my best friend. but shes having a bf..i want to tell her that i love her..but i don't think i'll win her..i just think that i'll loose the frndship....so what can i do???

  1. John


    Oct 23, 2005

    Ok so I am not just some emotional teenager, im actually in my 20's I just wanted to let you know that before I start. I have been in serious relationships before and have been in love. Anyway So Ive been friends with this girl for a couple of years now, but a few months ago we started hangin out all of the time and have since became best friends and pretty much inseperable. At first it started out as a crush on her just because she is such an awesome girl but now I am totally falling in love with her and have no idea what I should do? But to make it worse She is actually one of my roommates now so I realize I probably shouldnt tell her but I,m not very good at hiding it and am pretty sure she atleast has an idea how I feel. I know her Brother her parents and her best friend all said I should tell her cause they all want her and me to hook up. What do I do?

  1. shawn


    Nov 7, 2005

    like most of you i have known my best friend for along time we have been best friends for about 7 years since we were 14 we are now almost 21 She has been the one good constant thing in my life for those 7 years and i would never ever in my life want to hurt her, and so i dont know what do to she had a very hard child hood and she has a very hard time trusting people. But i recently told her how i felt about her but she just did what she always does and kind of ignored cause that what she does do everything that makes her feel akward. But i know that we are perfect for each other, everytime we are together people always tell us that we are perfect for each other and people always tell us we need to find people who are like each other and i feel like well why cant she find me. But what makes this even more complecated she is going out with someone right now and that person happens to be my best guy friend we have only been friends for about 3 years but, and they are on a break right now cause they are completely obosits. And they hurt each other alot and everytime she comes running to me for comfort. and i love that but i would never want to do anything to hurt him and so i dont know if i should make a move or sit back and see what happens between them. the only thing is i have been waiting for a long time already and i dont know what to do.

  1. shawn


    Nov 7, 2005

    please email me with some advise i am stuck

  1. Hopelessly in Love

    Hopelessly in Love

    Nov 16, 2005

    Wow - it's funny to read all of these... I don't feel so unnormal.
    I am 22, and my best friend is the same age. She and I have known each other since our first day in college. We have been good, best, friends since then. We've had some off-and-on times in our friendship... I've liked her since four years ago, and told her. She has, instead, had three separate relationships. I know - it sounds crazy... but they all ended in failure... and she saw it coming every time. When she and I are around each other, it's like the whole world just stops. We can talk about anything... and I know that she respects me and cares a lot about me. Currently, she lives in a different state... although I'm moving back soon. I just wish she would like me... it's hard to tell... and even if she might, she might not be ready to tell me. Most of my friends think I'm psychotic and should just move on... but I want to hold out a little longer. Maybe, just maybe, she will finally get it... that I've been under her nose this whole time.

  1. lost everything

    lost everything

    Nov 19, 2005

    My advice is to tell them as soon as you can. The longer it goes on, the more you will love them, and it will make it even worse if they don't love you back. I made the mistake of falling in love with my best friend and waited 3 1/2 years to say something... I always thought he felt the same way about me but was just afraid of ruining our friendship. We were always together and people were constantly asking us "What's going on with you two?" We even decided to share an apartment to save on the bills. I finally told him a few days ago, and found out that I was never anything but a friend to him. It is the worst pain I have ever felt and I am going to have to end the friendship because of it. I am losing the man I love, my best friend, and my roomate. Every time I see him, I will be reminded of how I feel and that nothing will ever come of it. I would like to know if anone has any advice on how to get over your best friend when they don't love you back.

  1. Kimberley


    Nov 21, 2005

    It is amazing how many of us are going through the same thing. I have been friends with this dude for the last 7 years, but we have been best friends for the last 4 years. We are the same age and are totally identical because we both are Taurus'. I have been there for him throughout all of his relationships. Whenever he had a problem with one of his girlfriends, I am always there to give him advice on what to do to make things better. Some say that I shouldn't do that because of my feelings towards him, but I don't see the problem. Although I have been in relationships myself, none has been more fulfilling than the one that I share with my best friend. We both made a promise that when we turn 28 and are not married or in any type of relationship, we will marry each other. We are now 21 and both are single. He knows that I am in love with him, but he don't take my feelings serious. It hurts everyday not knowing how he truly feels about me. Unlike other male/female best friends, we have never been intimate, we've never kissed. But I am confused, I don't want no one but him. In my opinion, he fulfills me, but I think that I am hurting myself more and more wanting to be with him. What should I do? I know that he loves me but not the same as I do him. I am still truly scared that my feelings for him is going to ruin our friendship and that is not what I want to happen. I would rather be his friend than anything else. Can someone give me some advice that will help improve my situtation??

  1. Keith


    Nov 21, 2005

    I was in the same situation as most people here. I was 19 and in college and I met this realy cool girl. I started hanging out with her and it was really fun. She always had her best friend with her and so we were never alone. I would always make arrangements to hang out and for some reason I always ended up hanging out with the girls best friend instead. Things progressed and I found myself a new friend, a best friend. I felt bad because I had dismissed her in the beginning. I was dismissing such a beautiful person. We hit it off and we would talk almost everyday. All her friends would come up to me and ask me how come I haven't done anything yet. Well, I was persuing her best friend and that didn't work so I think she deserved better and someones rejected leftovers. Turns out that I even had her friends blessing. The friendship went on for at least 2 years before I fell in love with her. I was now about 21 years old and still very innocent. We were both still virgins and both good looking people who just never met the right people. Anyways, I was so scared to act on my feelings because I couldn't stand the thought of her not feeling the same. The perfect opportunity arose one day when she called me feeling very down. She basicly told me how lonely she was. I would never of thought, she seemed like someone who had everything. This broke my heart but also excited me. I took the opportunity to tell her how I felt. The feelings were mutual and a weight had been lifted off my chest. Why was I so shocked? Who we hang out so much if we didn't like eachother. Would she call me so much if she didn't like me. My whole point is that if your truly best friends then expressing your feeling for the other person shouldn't mess things up because chances are they feel the same way, even if they don't admit it. I'm very shy and it took me forever to get things going. She couldn't wait forever and so she moved on, or did she. I have a girlfriend now and a daughter but she still emails me and I still see her every now and then. I try not to be around her because it's so obvious the chemistry is there. We talked about how we were soulmates. I think the whole situation hurt both of us but I don't feel like the same person. She is all I think about and I know I love her. All I can do is thank God for the frienship and for the time we had together. They say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I agree.

  1. AAR


    Nov 22, 2005

    Like all of you I fell in love with my best friend. I've known him since we were in 5th grade and on December we are graduating. The prom is soon and i was going to asking him, but he already has a date. He is going with a friend. I really want to tell him how i feel, but im really scared that he will not feel the same way. On the other hand, I dont know if I can go through life without telling him. I think about him all the time. I thing im going to tell him the night of the prom. I would appreciate any and all advice.

  1. Kylee Faith

    Kylee Faith

    Nov 28, 2005

    I know exactly how you feel. I have known Sean for almost 5 years now... and We went out once... but, It didn't work out... because we were way young. I am only 13... and I just Thought I would tell you. Best friends are people who you can lean on... and if this friend/love is a true friend... This best friend will listen to your true feelings. I told Sean... and Now were waiting till we get older.. so, We can go out... But, He knows... so, Yeah.

  1. Kylee Faith

    Kylee Faith

    Nov 28, 2005

    I know exactly how you feel. I have known Sean for almost 5 years now... and We went out once... but, It didn't work out... because we were way young. I am only 13... and I just Thought I would tell you. Best friends are people who you can lean on... and if this friend/love is a true friend... This best friend will listen to your true feelings. I told Sean... and Now were waiting till we get older.. so, We can go out... But, He knows... so, Yeah.

  1. Amanda Hobbs

    Amanda Hobbs

    Nov 29, 2005

    I was friends with a guy that we have been friends for about 12 years now, and we dated for 4 years, then he moved. And I never saw him again until this year at school. Now that we found each other again, he's going out with my best friend.

  1. James


    Dec 3, 2005

    I met this woman(~K~) in September, when I met ~K~ I met her along with her two friends, but I was instantly attracted to ~K~, she is the most amazing woman I've ever met. Now I really do care for her more than anyone else I know... But the problem is while we were first getting to know each other, her best friend(~I~) led me on, so I asked her ~I~ if she wanted to have a relationship, but she turned me down. It really made me mad at her because she had led me on so much. I got over it and now we are really good friends. I only asked her because I had been hearing all the "If you like her tell her" stuff... But I soon realised how much I really love ~K~, and when we talk, I try to leave hints... But I don't think she wants to take it any farther than the friendship... Just the not knowing is killing me... But more than that its the fear of being turned down. Plus... I feel wrong for asking ~I~ first, instead of ~K~... Now I'm going to be moving from San Diego to Lake Tahoe and I don't know if I should tell her before I go or just wait, I had been planning this move for a while now, and come to find out, both ~K~ and ~I~ are planning on moving up to Tahoe for next winter... Right now I see both ~K~ and ~I~ about every sunday, but I talk to them both on IM alot... mostly ~K~. Should I just let things work themselves out? Or should I tell her? My two bigest fears are A) Ruining the friendship and B) Loosing ~K~ to another guy. Any help would really b appreciated.

  1. gogo


    Dec 4, 2005

    After reading all these other stories,I'm surprised how everybody here almost goes thru the same things. Here is my story. My bestfriend and I met in school and the program we were in was very small and intense. We saw each other every day and soon realized how much we had in common. We then spent everyday together to study and hang out with his friends. After a few months, I tried to tell him how i felt, but he didn't feel the same way. There were some awakard silences for a few months, but then the friendship picked up again and we started hanging out. Over the summer, he found a girlfriend but it was a long distance relationship. He recently just broke up with her. He keeps saying how he really needs a girlfriend and I try to be helpful and go thru a list of people he can possibly date.The thing is, I am 5 yrs older than him and we're both in our twenties. I think this fact really bothers him. He mentioned how we have a "brother and sister relationship". So i try to respect that and leave it at that stage. I also started dating a bunch of people and i forgot about him, but spending time with him again my feelings resurfaced. I really don't know what to do and i really don't want to risk the friendship anymore. I once told somebody that if i'm only his friend, I would be happy because I love spending time with him.

  1. Jared


    Dec 5, 2005

    I met by best friend about a year ago. We spent at least a couple hours with each other almost every day through the year, that's how we got to know each other as well as we have. I know some people finish each other's sentences sometimes, but we say the exact same thing to each other every day in almost every conversation. I know it sounds stupid but it's like we're one soul in two bodies. The summer following that year we probably spent 90% of our free time with each other or with our mutual friend. when we wern't with our mutual friend we would just sit by the river untill late at night sometimes talking nonstop, sometimes not saying anything at all, it wasn't uncommon to spend a good hour and a half doing this. But I know from those times alone, that I am truely, deeply, in love with her. I have not had a girlfriend in about a year and she has not had a boyfriend for longer. I haven't had much luck finding anyone and I wonder why a lot. I am someone who believe everything happens for a reason, and tonight I realized why I have remained single. If I was in a relationship, I would not be able to spend the time that I do with my friend. And that time is the happiest I have ever been in my life. Sometimes I just want to tell her exactly how I feel, but I like the relationship we have now. I know our friendship has the strength to stay the same even if she doesn't feel the same way, but I still am not sure if I should wait on telling her untill close to graduation (if we're both single I plan on asking her to prom with me) I guess i'll just tell her when it feels right.

  1. Ryan


    Dec 7, 2005


    Ive got this problem Ive liked my friend for sometime now and some of her friends tell me she likes me to we have done every thing togeter but she cant seem to get over this loser she been seeing for a few years they break up and get back together Im sure im not the greatest guy in the world but he beats her and his kids they dont have any kids together but he even said he was gonna kill her family but she goes backs to him says he changed and he does it over and over to her. I told her how i felt when we were out and she told me that she loves me but she would break my heart and she doesnt wanna hurt me like she does everybody else that why she goes back to him plz somebody help me its killing me inside to she her get hurt over and over!!!

  1. Paul


    Dec 11, 2005

    I firmly believe that best friends make the best lovers. I believe in happy endings and I believe that the very same love that makes two people best friends is the same love that makes them destined to be together.

    I met my best friend 13 years ago in Highschool. (I'm now 29, she's 26). From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew where my heart belonged. It was really that simple. She and I became inseperable and, like many others, made the pact to marry at 30 if neither of us were taken by then.

    It took me almost three years to finally tell her how I felt. I don't know...I was afraid of rejection...afraid of losing my best friend. I just don't know. But I remember the night I told her how I felt. New Years Eve. Ironically I had taken her out to that party that night with the express intent of having Midnight be our first kiss. But when midnight came along and she kissed another man that she had actually met at that party, I was inconsolable. I vanished and disappeared upstairs. I needed to get the hell away.

    About a half hour later she started wondering where I was and came and found me. She must have known what was up because she simply hugged me and asked me not "if" I loved her, but "How" I loved her. When I told her that I loved her in every way possible, she started to cry in my arms. I remember holding her in my arms as she cried, knowing that I had hurt her more than any man had, and feeling like I deserved to die for putting her in that much pain. That night when I drove her home, she told me that when we had first met, she had felt the same about me...but had assumed that I wasn't interested so had moved on. She kissed me (to this day I'm still convinced that that kiss was the test to see if she could think of me as more than a friend).

    A few days later she told me that we had simply been friends for too long; that it would be too awkward. The months that followed were hard, and nearly destroyed our friendship, but we survived, until one day she ditched me after making plans with me to go hang out with some other guy and I was so upset that I vowed to call and seduce the first woman that I came across. (Drown my sorrows with another woman). That woman became my wife...and later my ex-wife.

    "S" and I lost contact during my marraige. But almost like destiny, a few days after I left my wife "S" appeared at my work. In moments it was as though we had never been apart. In the time between she had had a child with another man who had since left her and the child in the lurch. I became a large part of that childs life as well as hers. She and I are not 'technically' a couple, but we are both single, and emotionally come as close to being a couple as possible (We're actually purchasing our first home together this summer).

    My point is that destiny is a funny thing. That same love that makes you all best friends is that same love that will make you all soul-mates. At the end of the day there is no real difference in how you feel about her and he feels about you (or vice versa). The difference lies in the awkwardness. It's not a matter of one friend being in love with the other. It's a matter of one person putting aside the awkwardness and the other person being unable to.

    Just my two cents.

  1. A. Browne

    A. Browne

    Dec 11, 2005

    Paul, thank you for your story, S sounds lovely and it sounds like you have been through a lot of pain for her.

    I met my best friend 8 months ago as a pen pal. We were extremely close and just clicked. From the moment go we wanted to know each other and we talked about everything in life. We were open and honest about everything, and we would speak for hours on end. The first time we met, she kissed me. However, it was not romantic. She wanted to test the relationship and see if I was someone she wanted to be with.

    I fell in love with her a short time later. I had to go back to my home town in the country. When I confessed my feelings for her (stupidly), she told me she didn't feel the same way. Our friendship has had its ups and downs since then, but we no longer speak the way we used to. She has a boyfriend who is in his mid-thirties and she loves him dearly. I think they will get married. We still speak two to three times a week.


  1. Shannan


    Dec 14, 2005

    the falling in love with the best friend scenario...i think it happens to everyone. now im only 17 but don't think im to young to know any better. my best friend is the nicest person i have ever met. He understands everything i tell him, we can talk for hours and hours until like 3 or 4 in the morning. I've only known him for 2 years but it seems like so much longer. see thats what i thought. but heres what i think now... about 6 months or so ago this best friend of mine ( we'll call him m ) told me he liked me. problem was he had a girlfriend. anyway he broke up with her for me but said that we wouldnt ofically go out until after we had finished school...so now its 4 months later we're finished school and hes telling me he just wants to be friends. we've been practically going out anyway the only thing thaat was missing was the oficalness. now the major problem here is. im so annoyed by the fact that hes pretty much used me for the last 4 months that its going to take a lot of effort for me to just be friends with him. i love him and he says he loves me...so if your gonna tell your friend you like him/her think about it seriously because you are risking A LOT

  1. Aaron


    Dec 16, 2005

    Wow.. this seems pretty popular.. Anyways, to get this off of my chest I fell in love with my best friend a little while ago, who I've known for a couple years now (I'm sixteen, she's seventeen) What makes it kind of awkward is the fact that her friend told my friend supposedly unknowingly that she liked me.. But I'm not so sure about this because her "friend" has a thing against her current boyfriend and may just be trying to split them up.. Anyways, I just wanted to say that because I can.. Thanks

  1. JWJ


    Dec 18, 2005


    This feels awkward talking to a website but here it goes. I met her in the 7th grade, but didn't get to really know her until I went into the 10th grade. In tenth grade we shared english and history class together. Through these classes we became really close and practically saw each other everyday. In the beginning, i would sometimes be embarassed to be seen with her, not because of her looks or anything but the fact that i truly thought of her as a really good friend. We told each other everything. During the summer we kept in touch and hung out couple times. What really started me off was the beginning of 11th grade. We became even closer and often other friends would make fun of our "friend" relationship. Everyone would ask if we were going out and make it awkward. During homecoming, I was really thinking of asking her to go with me just as friends but was kinda scared because i began to realize i liked her more than just a friend. Thinking about it, i realized that we had so much in common. WHen we go out to eat we would order the same thing even if we didn't know each others orders. We both hate the same things and like the same things. So finally when i got the guts to ask her, we had a fight leaving it impossible for me to ask. i ended up going with another girl. However that night i had a crazy dream about her date making her cry and me going over there and kicking his ass, i know it sounds Ridiculous but i dont know it just seems like she is on my mind every day. Its been about 2 months now since that time and i still think about her everyday. We are so close and often i feel that she might have some feelings for me too but i dont want it to ruin our friendship if she doesn't. Couple days ago she told one of our friends that it seems like our friendship is more like a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, and i dont know if she means it in a good way or not but i wish she realized that i really do love her. There is so much more to write but i think that's enough. I just hope that sometime in life she realizes my feelings.

  1. william


    Dec 20, 2005

    Well, iv known this girl since i was five. we used to b really good friends but she is a hardcore christian and we kinda drifted apart as we got older. but she got me a job working with her at a college bookstore, we both are freshmen in college.

    we had always had a friendship were people teased us about being together, at least my friends did, and im pretty sure her friends did too. we flirted alot and got along really well.

    i started getting feelings for her after a month or two of working with her. at this point we were talking to eachother everyday even if we didnt see eachother at work. we talked about serious things like relationships and religion. and i loved it. so i decided to tell her how i felt.

    when i told her she told me that she felt the same, but didnt want to date someon outside of her religion, in fact she had already has a nice christian boy that she is "dating". we talkedabout it and i stared to go to church with her.

    it seemed to b ok, but she had this conviction to not date for two years, get her life in order. i had decided to wait, but i think i still pushedto hard. after only a week she told me she didnt have feelings for me, only sometimes. it was hard but i tried to let go and forget.

    i failed. sfter another three weeks i was going insane, i had to tell her how i felt still. so i did. needless to say it did not go over well. she told me that she was already to involved with someone else, wich is confusing because she had been just as involved with the christian guy only weeks before, when she had liked me.

    so im trying to forget, and get past it, but i can feel that she is the right one for me, im not even interested in other women now. we barely talk anymore, and work is hard because everyone knows what happend between us.

    but i cant help feeling that the only reason she decided not to like me is because of her religion. her favorite movie is a walk to remember, its about a guy falling in love with a christian girl. she has been taking about it alot lately and she told me i should watch it.

    i want to just not see her for a while and see if that helps. its pretty hard, im really good friends with her sister and brother and i live ith her family. anyone have any advice? should i keep trying, im willing to but i dont want to waste two years of my life if i dont have a chance with her.

  1. Confused.


    Dec 21, 2005

    Lately, I have been having a major problem. I thinnk i am falling for my best friend. Once I realized this, I tried to hint to him that I was feeling different about him. We've been close friends for years, and I think I have finally realized how amazing we would be together. He tells me he loves me, but I do not believe he's being serious. To tell you the truth, I'm quite scared. I do not know how to approach the situation. If I do confess to him my feelings, will he think of me differently? What if he does not feel the same way? I do not want to jeopardize our friendship in any way, shape, or form.. but I'm in love. There's no doubt about that.

    Just last week, we were hanging out. Later on, he told me a story about one of his coaches coming up to him and telling him what an amazing couple we would make. He admitted that we would, in fact, be quite the good couple.. but I don't know if these are his true feelings.

    I am in a tough situation.. I want to let him know how I feel, because hopefully he feels the same. But then again, I don't want to lose such an amazing friend. If I do tell him, will he ever think of me in the same way?

    -- confused.

  1. Luna


    Dec 26, 2005

    Oh god, just tell her i was in a situation like that i had started falling for my best friend and he had fallen for me and he wanted to be with me and when we hugged or he started kissing me on the cheek like in the middle of a conversation or when he held my hands just "kidding",i was like well i guess its just a friendly hug cause we are best friends but it turn out to be diffrently he really wanted to be with me..though he never got the guts to tell and so i never had them either cause he was my best friend so i thought it would be normal for him to act that way with me.. i found out two days ago what his true feelings for me had been and he also found out that i had felt them same thing for him when he felt what he felt for me...the bad thing is he now has a girlfriend...he asked her a couple of hours before he could find out what we could've had together and i reall regret not telling him and i know he does to but im just telling u this so that you wont feel the same way as i do now for not telling him!!!! so good luck

  1. Senor Zodiac, El Pimpo Mas Grande

    Senor Zodiac, El Pimpo Mas Grande

    Dec 26, 2005

    Wow, it's kind of comforting to know so many other people are in the same situation I am. I too have developed very strong feelings for my best friend of the opposite sex. We met in grad school, and we were both with other people when we started hanging out. Well, those relationships have ended and over the last three or four years I have started having feelings for her. Over time, they've progressively grown stronger. What complicates it is that I see her all the time. We're always going to movies together, going out to eat, etc. We're virtually inseperable when we're together, and people who see us think we're dating. She is really one of the greatest people I have ever known. But she keeps saying she thinks of me like "family" and (without me ever giving any indication of my feelings) says that she doesn't want to commit "friendcest." I love her unconditionally and I respect that. I don't want to jeopardize our wonderful friendship, so I have no intention of ever telling her how deeply I feel about her. I probably need to find another woman to go out with, but on the rare occasion when I do, I keep wishing she was her. I don't know, it probably wouldn't work out anyway, but admittedly if I had some indication she felt the same way I would be willing to try. But again, I couldn't bear to lose her as a friend, hence my reason for keeping silent on the matter. Good luck to everyone with the same problem. It is a very tough choice to make, but ultimately everyone has to realize the same thing I did... if I really love someone, I have to make decisions with her best interests in mind, not mine. I don't want to be selfish, and I just want her to be happy (hence my reason for semi-encourageing her to go after one of my male friends she barely knows). Sigh.

  1. Sean


    Dec 28, 2005

    You have to tell her. Even if you know she doesnt have the same feelings for you. Im in sort of the same situation, and ive tried dating other women and it never works out. If you dont tell her and express yourself its going to be one hell of a time getting over her. just get it off your chest.

    The first time i had feelings for my best friend, i told her and we went out. it dint work out great cuz we both had busy lives and couldnt see eachother that much over the summer so we broke it off. now shes with another guy and i hate the Tool. but i love her more than ever. i just dont know what to do about it. half of me wants her to be happy with him, but the other half wants to be selfish and try my hardest to get her back.

  1. Kim


    Dec 29, 2005

    To all of you who love your best friend...

    Basically the same story as all of you. We met freshman year of college, spent every day together, which only became more often sophomore/junior year. We made the back-up plan of "getting married at 28" and everything. He told me Junior year (2 days before my birthday) that he wanted to "take our relationship to the next level". I was stupid enough (or too scared or not ready...?) to say no and soon was dating someone else--who I dated for a year and a half.

    My BF and I broke up and he was there as the constant fixture who I figured would always be around. My feelings began to change just when he pretty much gave up and started seeing someone else--they dated 10 mo and aren't together anymore. It's been six months since then--6 years total--and we still aren't together.

    I am more in love with him than I've ever been w/ anyone I've dated, and still afraid to lose him. He knows my feelings, I think his are similar, but with all that's happened I think he's scared to hurt me or be hurt by me. We're almost 25, we live in the same city, and now I'm just waiting for him to be "ready"--which I hope will happen.

    Bottom line: we could have saved a lot of time and heartache if we were both honest w/ each other sooner. If you can't see your life w/o someone (which took me a long time to realize) then you need to be honest w/ that person. If they really are your best friend, you'll stay best friends even if you don't get together right away b/c you mean too much to each other to not stay that way. Either way, I'll update if/when we actually do end up together, which I hope is soon!

  1. Miss


    Jan 6, 2006

    I met my friend over 4 years ago when I transferred to my university. Moving so far from home was very scary and he was one of the first people I met here. We had the most amazing connection ever. I knew the first day I met him that I liked him. That day was so surreal and let's just say that God could not have been more clear to me that this was fate or something (and I'm not a Christian so it was just that amazing). The thing was I had just started dating someone else. That wasn't a problem for me though because I had already planned to leave the one I was dating for him. Then I found out that he wasn't over his ex, even though he gave me many signs that he was getting more attached to me. I still thought it was wrong to try anything. So I didn't and stayed with the other guy. When I look back now, it was a giant mistake. The guy I dated became my bf for 3 years and I developed a dependency on him that ruined my life. All this time though, we remained good friends and even though I tried very hard to shake my feelings for him, I never ever could completely. After my ex and I broke up, I felt my feelings come back stronger and stronger. Last summer I confessed to him and it was the scariest thing I've ever done. He told me that he didn't feel the same way and I was crushed. He said that he wanted to remain friends but I couldn't deal with the pain. I told him I wasn't sure about that. That was 6 months ago. I haven't talked to him since then. I'm not sure if I should. One thing I am glad about is that I felt us drifting apart just because I'd be so incredibly nervous and insecure around him that I couldn't be myself. Now I feel like there's a big weight lifted off of my shoulders and if we are ever ok again, I can feel free. Not to say that confessing isn't without it's consequences because I do feel irreparably damaged and it's one of those for life things. I'm just trying to stay optimistic and see what time does to me. Do I regret? I don't know. So the thing about testing the waters before you take the dive and spill your heart...please do first.


  1. John


    Jan 11, 2006

    well ive fallen in love with my best friend we've only been friends for like 6 months but her and we can tell each other anything we chill everyday shes the greatest person ever but shes a nympho so alot of her storys are about sex and how good her ex's are but theres nothing i can do about it so then the other night were chillin and i can hear her and this guy in the bathroom getting it on it hurt me os much but theres nothing i can do but shug it off but i have told her that i love her she got mad at me and we didnt really hang out for like a week and then the time we talked before we started hanging out again she got mad at me because she would always lie to me and tell me she can do anything when her brother who im friends with also was like yea dude come over she just didnt wanna chill because she felt weird around but then she yelled at me and told me that im not her boyfriend i cant tell her what to do and what not to do the only thing i suggest is that only tell her if you are possitive that she likes you too because i almost lost the best thing in my life but dont feel down and you do tell her/ him and they reject if your around someone enough then eventually they might fall for you too but do be bumbed if they dont just remember this quote from donnie darko
    "Dr. Lilian Thurman: What did Roberta Sparrow say to you?
    Donnie: She said "Every living creature on earth dies alone".
    Which basically tells you that yea you may have a good life while your living but everything in this world is temporary nothing will ever last forever

  1. matt


    Jan 11, 2006

    yeah i actually used to like my best friend in like 5th grade. then we becaem the best of freinds. the other week we went to her dance. she looked so beautiful that i think i might of resparked those feelings. one of my friends asked her about it and she said she didnt no how she felt. anyone no what thats suposed to mean. if so email me at Mosesg89@yahoo.com

  1. matt


    Jan 11, 2006

    yeah i actually used to like my best friend in like 5th grade. then we becaem the best of freinds. the other week we went to her dance. she looked so beautiful that i think i might of resparked those feelings. one of my friends asked her about it and she said she didnt no how she felt about me. my friend told her i liked her. anyone no what thats suposed to mean. if so email me at Mosesg89@yahoo.com

  1. lucy


    Jan 11, 2006

    I've been in love with my best friend since i was 7, i'm dying to tell him, but i'm not sure i should. I've tried giving him hints, but he's somewhat shy. So i doubt he'll give them back. I plan on moving back to my country if he shows no interest in me. Thats the only reason i'm still here. What should i do, i'm so lost. I cry every night, hoping he'll show some kind. And when i tell him about me leaving, he encourages me in a way, i think i made up my mind. I'm want to leave, i have nothing else to lose, but something is still holding me back. What do i do?!!!

  1. bob


    Jan 12, 2006

    you should tell him if your leaving what else do you have to lose what if he feels the same way? i think you should tell him before you make your decision to move to a new country because im a shy guy too if a girl liked me i would want her to tell me.
    well good luck with that!!!

  1. Marco


    Jan 13, 2006

    Hey everyone i have been reading most of the post that ppl have posted n im surprised 2 c dat so many ppl r in my shoes or so i think. this is my story.

    I met "S" bout 2 years ago she was dating one of my friends at the time n he introduced us n since then me and her became friends, she after broke up with my friend but we mainted our friendship n we became very good friend. dat was 2 years ago now were best friends and she tell me everything, shes currently dating someone and they have been together for 5 months n last night she told me that for the first time she had sexual intercourse with her bf and i just dont kno, right now im upset, heart broken i dun kno so much feelings. For the past like month i have noticed that i have more then friendship feelings towards her n now this happends and i dont know wat to do. wat do u guys think i should do, should i tell her that im startin to like her or not ????

    I wish the best of luck 2 everyone on dis post.


  1. brian


    Jan 16, 2006

    ive known this girl 4 about a year and we are best friends and ive gone out with her but she broke up with me three days later saying she doesnt want to ruin our friendship we still are best friends but she always flirts with me and we love each other and she is the sweetest girl in the world and i really love her and i dont know what to do she says that we will go out again but she is moving to another state in about 6 months and i really would like to go out with her because im so in love with her i llove her more than anybody in the world and she loves me alot to so what should i do

  1. javier


    Jan 21, 2006


  1. MA


    Jan 22, 2006

    I'm in the same situation as everybody...

    I've been good friends with J for almost 3 years, we use to work together and when I left the job, we still kept in contact.

    He has been very thoughtful in inviting me out with his friends all this time and would occasionally takes me out to lunch.

    I've always found him attractive from the start but I just couldn't picture us together. I've "experienced" life and he's just starting to explore. (I'm only a year older than him)

    It's just recently that I've come to realize that I want an opportunity to be with this beautiful person; he's very honest and he has a kind heart.

    But things have been awkward between us for the last few months. Since his bday last NOV, I was really surprised that he hugged me for the first time and even gave me a peck on the lips (he was pretty drunk so I'm not too sure if he even remembers it).

    He is very shy and reserved that he even finds it difficult to greet me with a kiss, so this was a real shock to me. And we never really talked about it.

    This is the thing that is really confusing me, I've seen him a couple of times after that, he now greets me with a hug, holds my hand, he has been very affectionate. However, the thing that is really confusing me it the fact that he would start out that way and later on act all weird- like he's avoiding me.

    I've been wanting to talk to him but he hasn't been responding to my email or sms.

    I feel like he pulls me in then pushes me away. I know he hasn't had that much experience with women at his age (29) and I'm not sure if that's the reason.

    I'm in desperate need of some advice, I can't understand if he's acting this way because he is also confused or he's also scared of the fact that I've lost a number of male friends in the past because they fell for me and I didn't feel the same. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting him.

    I can't stop thinking of him and I feel that if I don't do anything I might just lose him without a fight. I'm really hoping someone could shed some light. I want to tell him how I truly feel but I just don't know how to approach it. please help....

    thank you

  1. MA


    Jan 22, 2006

    In response to JAVIER...

    I think you're very lucky that she is very open in talking to you about her feelings, if you've read my post, my friend has been avoiding me.

    Maybe tell her what you want out of the relationship, what level of commitment you are willing to give her, maybe assure her that if things don't work out for both of you in the end that your friendship is strong enough for you to overcome that and continue being best of friends.

    One thing I know, women always wants some type of security, especially when she's putting her heart on the line.

    Hopefully this approach might help you clarify things on why she is confused. GOOD LUCK!

  1. Direption


    Jan 27, 2006

    Much like everyone here I am basically in the exact same boat. I met my best friend "Marie" through work and through her roommate "Jane" who I've known for years through work. I began spending a lot of time with M and J over the summer, and we quickly became best friends, to the point where Jane has been completely marginalized. We've been best friends for about eight months, and it's been in the last four that I've realized how amazing Marie actually is: she's funny, intelligent, charismatic, beautiful, I could list all the things I love about her for hours. I fell in love with her, or as close a thing to love as I've ever known in my life. She's 22, I'm 20, but I'm also really bad at relationships, I'm even still a virgin; on the other hand, Marie has been in several, and I'm a little bit intimidated by the fact that she is more, ahem, experienced than I am. The thing is, part of the reason I don't date that much is because I'm so bad at it and I can't relate to the girl; with Marie I can talk about anything and I can be myself and I treasure every minute we have together. I always seem to fall for the wrong girl, and I'm afraid that I'm doing the same thing. Lots of people at work know that I am in love with her, but I can't say for certain whether she does know, and whether she dosen't want to say anything to break my heart. The thing is, Marie is also moving away in a month, and I'm traveling with her during the move and then coming home, so there's little time for a relationship to develop, and I know she dosen't believe in long distance relationships; by the same token, I might be moving where she is going to live in a year or so. I want to tell her how I feel before she goes, but at the same time I'm not a betting man and I don't want to lose the friendship forever. Also, if I tell her before we go, and she dosen't respond positively, the trip could be really shitty. For the past four months I've watched her be attracted to guys who have similar characteristics to me; at the same time, she's made comments that have made me wonder if she's dropping hints to me (She and I once talked about how we could never find someone to date the other, because no one was good enough, she once mentioned that she wanted to be Ukrainian, which I am, and recently a colleage stood between us and said "Marie, what Mark likes about you...." and both Marie and I looked at each other with stunned expressions before our colleague continued making a completely negligable comment), so I'm getting ever so confused. With the deadline approaching, I know that I should tell her how I feel, but I'm so afraid of having my heart broken by what she tells me. I'm not saying Marie is the most perfect woman in the world, but she's the most fascinating person I have ever met and as cheezy as it sounds I could picture myself dating her and much, much more. I would love to hear some advice or opinions from you guys at Direption@hotmail.com

  1. Tina


    Jan 27, 2006

    I have an interesting story...I'm 30 and just started going back to school to become a doctor. I am currently at an undergrad school finishing my Biology degree. That's where I met my "best friend". One of the problems is that he's only 22. But of course when you're friends that really doesn't matter. Anyway, we started hanging out, studying, emailing, calling each other, and we saw each other every day. It was never physical although he has told me I'm very attractive. We have so much in common it's scary!! We like all of the same things and are very ambitious people. He too wants to go to med school after he goes in the Navy for a few years. That's when we decided to be friends for life!! Then he started doing things that our other friends started noticing and even I started noticing. He seemed to be giving me extra-special attention. He would walk me to my car, carry my books, he even went out of his way to be with me one friday night. I don't know if I just started confusing his sincere friendship for more, but I ended up telling him that I had a crush on him cause I totally thought he felt the same. He said that he was flattered but he didn't want a relationship until he was 30. So we then made a promise to meet up with each other in NYC on his 30th birthday and I gave him other ways to contact me incase we ever lost contact once he was in the military. We also both decided that we HAD to be just friends and it could never be anything more. Well, more time passed and we got closer than ever. I emotionally couldn't handle being in love with him and not being able to express it, so I stupidly told him that we couldn't be friends anymore because I wanted to be more than friends and it was killing me. He said he understood, although I know he was hurt because everyone at school noticed that he was mad at the world. Well, its been a month since then and I am more miserable than ever!!! And to top it off he won't even talk to me about it. He sent me a goodbye good luck with life email and that was it. So now I'm left wondering about our date in NYC when he turns 30....guess I'll just have to be patient and see if he shows up. This is probably the worse-case-scenerio for all of you thinking of telling your best friend your in love with them. Hope you have better luck than I did!!!

  1. Jane


    Jan 30, 2006

    Here's another take on this theme....

    I've been going out with my boyfriend for over 3 years. I'm a total guy's girl - I have a lot more guy friends than I do girl friends, and my best mate is a guy. My boyfriend had major jealously issues with all the guy mates at first, but after a while he settled down and realised the difference. So three years on, I've finally got him used to me going out with the boys after work and on weekends without him getting in a lather over it, although he still isn't close friends with any of my guy friends. He lives in a different city, so most of the time it's either me and the boys, or me and the boyfriend, but not all together. However here comes the complication: over the past month or so I've developed really strong feelings for my best friend. It seems to be totally separate to my feelings for my boyfriend. When I'm with my boyfriend I'm as much in love with him as I ever was, and nothing else enters my head. However when I'm hanging out with my best friend, one look from those green eyes sends me into a total spin. I really don't get it. I've been friends with my bestie for years without this ever happening before. I recently noticed how tall and tanned and absolutely drop-dead-gorgeous he is, how he gets so intense about the things we're both interested in, how I can talk with him for hours and hours and have the time just slip away, how his eyes crinkle at the corners when he grins, and that soft smile he sometimes does, which practically leaves me in a puddle on the floor. This is so frustrating! I didn't ask to feel this way, and I'm still madly in love with my boyfriend. These new feelings for my best friend seem to be totally involuntary. I'll be having what I think is a normal conversation with him, and sudddenly realise that I've actually been staring at him stupidly for the past few minutes, and he's stopped mid-sentence and is looking confused. Too much more of this and he's going to notice - if he hasn't already. And I think a few of my other friends have already seen it. The friendship I have with my best friend is something I wouldn't give up for the world, and I'm in a fantastic romantic relationship with my boyfriend - things were just perfect before these stupid feelings came along. The thing is, while I know it's idiotic to feel this way - be wild about both guys at once - it still feels so damn good. I feel alive.

    I'm going to try to leave it alone. Just keep things as they are. But I'm getting scared to do any of the things with my best friend that I used to not think twice about before - go to the beach (those abs...) or go to the movies (he used to grab my arm during the scary bits) or go out for a few beers (god help me if I get tipsy...)

    So, mix of happiness, anger and frustration all around. Don't know if anyone out there can identify with this, but it seems like everyone else has a pretty similar story - so maybe you can.

  1. jose


    Feb 1, 2006

    this is for the last story

    never leave the one you love for the one you like for you will never know when the one that you like will leave you for the one they love leaving you with no one

  1. Tina


    Feb 1, 2006

    I totally understand the mix of happiness, anger, and frustration!! That's what was happening to me. I used to get so excited to be with my friend, but then when we both had to leave I used to get so frustrated inside. I just never wanted our time together to end!! Then I started feeling angry all the time. Angry at myself for feeling like this. Angry at my friend for not feeling the same....But if I went anytime at all without him, I seemed to be ok and started to feel better. That's why I felt I had to end our friendship. I thought that if I could just stay away from him, I could have a chance of "feeling" normal again!!! Now looking back, I think that was the stupidest thing I've ever done!!! I miss him so much, and feel worse than ever!!! And he won't even talk to me anymore. So, my advice to you would be...don't do anything drastic!!! Hang in there! Maybe limit the time you and your friend spend together and then hopefully those feelings will pass...

  1. julie


    Feb 3, 2006

    I know how u all feel. I met a guy last year. we liked eachother..then somehow, it turned into best friends. a few months ago.. i realized i'm in love with hima nd i mean, he knows there is that little thing inside of me thats always gonna have a little thing for him..but he doesn't know how i actually feel. he's 4 years older than me..which makes it even worse cause he feels its to much of a difference... i don't agree! i was going to tell him but ..he's my best friend..i can't imagine being without him..he's been there for everything... and telling him is risking to lose him.. i don't know what to do. i feel like he knows already that there is that little something but how do i tell him that its more than alittle..and hsould i tell him at all...knowing already that the age thing bothers him. i'm 19, he's 23.

  1. Aimee


    Feb 7, 2006

    I have just realized, with no surprise to my girlfriends, that I am in love with my best guy friend. If that wasnt complicated enough, he has a girlfriend who goes to school 4 hours away. He flirts and sends mixed signals all the time. I wish I could figure him out. My mom thinks that I am just a convenience, some one he can flirt with when his girlfriend isnt around. But honestly, he hasnt kissed me or tried to make a move. I am pretty sure he knows I have feelings for him, but no matter what I try, he doesnt seem to let on how he is feeling. He voices frustrations about his girlfriend occasionally, but most often he tries to avoid talking about her period. He tells me he loves me and I tell him it back, but I mean what I say in a deeper way than I think he means it. Then again I really dont know. If he did like me, why is he still with his girlfriend? And if he doesnt like me, why is he flirting and sending me mixed messages all the time? You know how when you have a girlfriend and you walk into a room with her, you will guide her with your hand on the small of her back, well the other day he started to do that when we would walk together. I dont know if the sexual tension is starting to get to him or what, but, honestly, I see him more than his girlfriend does, and she cant be that special if this is how he is treating me when she is not around.

  1. Jane


    Feb 8, 2006

    It's weird, isn't it... how strange it is to know that you don't really have much control about how you're feeling. Or how suddenly those feelings can spring up.

    Tina, you're right, it's just about hanging in there. Perhaps this weird feeling is just some strange chemistry which will eventually pass. And in the meantime, I still love hanging out with my best friend, I just have to ignore these strange butterflies in my stomach when I catch his eye. It will go away eventually.

    Thanks for the messages, people. It's nice to know that it's not just me :)

  1. jody


    Feb 14, 2006

    I know exactly how you feel, but maybe on a little more complicated level. My best friend and I have been best friends for almost 15 years and fell in love with one another from the start. We went back and forth with other people, but always ended up with eachother. There was more than intimacy, there was a deep love and respect for one another. When it came time for commitment, he could not do that so I had to move on regardless of my feelings for him. We remained best friends, and I married and had kids and a few years later he married and had kids. We still have deep feelings for one another and a love that no one can explain, along with the closeness of our friendship. ( so let me tell you how complicated that can be ). Good luck

  1. Victor


    Feb 17, 2006

    Hey man, Im going through the exact same thing, this girl Ive been getting really close to, Ive fallen in love with her after a weird turn of events. I never even saw her in this way before, and now I cant even take my eyes off of her, shes all I think about, I wanna spend every day with her and I used to until she got a boyfriend. She knew how I felt about her though before she got this boyfriend, but she just kept telling me that she wanted to stay friends. But after a month or so, she says that she made a mistake and wants to be with me, but she doesnt want to leave the guy she is with, and it hurts me so much that she would rather be with him anyways. Ive dealt with this by staying friends with her, hanging out with her and always being there when she needs me the most, and I know that some day we'll be together, and I think if you keep trying to get what you want, no matter how long it takes, you'll get it in time. Good luck Vic

    - Victor

  1. Hurt.


    Feb 25, 2006

    Don't do it.

    If you're in love with your best friend, i don't reccomend that you spill your heart out to them. I did so last night, and was turned down. I don't look at him in the same way now & vice versa. Things will never go back to the way they were.

  1. u only live once

    u only live once

    Feb 27, 2006

    For everyone that is in love with theri best friend, go for it. Maybe friendship isnt for you...what if you are destined to be together?A good quote> Are you hanging on to something useless just because you think it's beautiful?
    --William Zinsser
    Don't be afraid to lose the friendship. If you tell your friend you love her she's going to be flattered and if she turns you down so what>? Everything will go back to normal after a while. If the friendship vanishes it probably wasnt strong enough to begin with.

  1. Kaci


    Feb 27, 2006

    Wow... i never thought i would come across a sight like this, let alone think that i would be posting my feelings for the world to see. I met my best friend when i was 15 and she was 13. We met through a mutual friend... and we also live 1/2 hr apart from each other. We started to talk casually on the phone once a week... and then she got a boyfriend. Back then... i didnt know i loved her, so i supported her through everything, and we basically didnt end up talking for almost 7 months. And then at the end of my junior year of high school, i get a phone call from her. Sayin how she missed talking to me.. all that stuff. Needless to say, i was very confused, seeing as how she had been dating her current boyfriend for almost 9 months. We started emailing each other back and forth, and our relationship started to grow tremendously. I dated on and off ... but i never stopped thinking/caring about her. Senior prom rolled around, and i finally got enough courage to ask her to go to prom w/ me, even though she had a boyfriend. she said YES... but then her boyfriend said she couldnt go, and she never called me to tell me this. I ended up finding out from her friend after about 3 weeks of unreturned phone calls and emails. After this incident we didnt talk again til July 2005. For osme reason.. i drunk dialed her and we started talking. After that night, we talked everyday, at least twice a day. our friendship turned into something people dream about. I mean, we dont see each other very often, and yet, we have this bond that's undescribable. Well.. fast forwarding a little bit. She broke up with her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years because she got sick of him treating her like shit, and we became even closer. Recently she admitted to me that she has fallen in love with me, and i finally got to admit to her how i felt. We went out for Vday as friends.. and i kissed her. IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING IN THE WORLD!! and now.. we started dating exactly one week ago. but it feels like we've been dating a lot longer than that. ALSO.. we see each other every weekend, but im a 2nd semester freshman in college, and she's about to end her junior year in high school. I dont know what do do about our relationship.. im scared that if we do break up things will not be the same again. SO PLEASE ppl.. any advice is helpful!!!! thank you for taking the time to read this! God Bless

  1. varkey


    Feb 27, 2006

    hey ...i never realised until recently that these kind of things happen in real life too rather than in movies !!!
    i too am going through the same feelings and i think these thoughts bout her started when she asked me about how i felt bout her and this lead me to too much thought i guess......now she is goin out with a nother guy but i am starting to fall in love with her ......i am so confused and dont know where it will lead.....as of now i am finding it hard to talk to her and have no idea as to wat to do ....we have been friends for 5-6 years now ...i am 20 and she is 21 .....we live in different cities now and keep in touch online...

    well anyone has anymore thoughts on this ?? or any similar cases that have worked out well ???

  1. mem


    Mar 4, 2006

    I'm amazingly happy that I am not alone! I have the same problem as all of you. Me and my guy friend have known each other for three years. At first, he really bugged me, but he really grew on me, and we have become really great friends. In 6th and 7th grade, he was truly just a friend. In 8th grade, I started to have more feelings for him. However, I stifled them, becuase I didn't want anything to ruin what we had, which is one of the best friendships I've ever had with a guy. However, this year, (9th grade) things changed a bit. Things got a lot more complicated. We started flirting with each other, just like it was for fun, casually. He started saying things he didn't used to say to me, and would always bother me about who I was going to dances with. He pulled the typical-immature-high school-boy act. He teases me, and walks me to classes. At the last school dance, he grinded on me, and after that, he started sometimes giving me a hug goodbye. Some people say that we seem to "like each other". Whatever that means these days. However, he has told me, a week or so, before that dance, about this other girl who he liked.

    I think this guy thinks of me as more of a "friend with benefits" then anyone he could get serious about. I want him to know how I feel but at the same time, I think it would scare him, and becuase, more than anything, I always want him to be my friend.

    I don't expect anything to come of this, becuase, frankly, he could do way better than me, and he knows it.

    All the signs say that I love him. Unfortunately, none of them say that he could ever love me.

    Any of you email me, if you need to talk

    --one more insane 14-yr-old

  1. anon


    Mar 9, 2006

    hi guys...
    for some reason its relly nice to see we're not alone in all our problems but i have a bit of a reverse of the problem u all face.
    u see, my best guy friend has always flirted with me and watever but iv always sort of avoided it because i know that i need him as a friend and would never want any awkwardness between us...until about five weeks ago, i was a bit tipsy and we kissed. afterwards i sent him a msg saying it wouldnt work only coz i love him too much as a friend (which i do) and he's been really cross with me ever since...i really miss him-we used to talk for hours and now all we can say to eachother is a "hi" and then we run off in different directions. so i have to say...maybe its not a bad thing that u r all "just friends" because i wish everyday things could be the same as they were-because of what happened i feel lost. to top it off i spent the whole night the other day plucking up the courage to text him and when i didnt get a reply my friend told me he had lost his fone. so now im unable to actualli tell him how i feel. i know somethings gotta give but i dont have the courage to actualli speak to him face to face when i see him. it feels like as time goes by it'll be wierd if i bring it up over amonth later if u know what i mean? because of one stupid mistake im so confused...i hope u all make the right decisions and every thing works out for the best...any advice would be great!!x

  1. ac


    Mar 18, 2006

    this is wierd to post on the internet, but i would like to share this because we have all the similar problems, i've recently started liking my best friend, but the sad part is i've been helping her out with this boy she likes, giving her all these advice, encouraging her since the beginning of her crush, but now that i like her, its like torturing myself just to help her? i dont know what to do.. why did i have to fall for her now when she's in the middle of her love life. i dont want to ruin our friendship by telling her, i feel that something will change once she finds out. our friend ship was built on feelings sometimes when im alone with her before felt like we were going out, but now i actually want to have the true feeling. right now i just want to forget about liking her and continue helping her and be the best friend that will be there for her no matter what. i rather see her happy then sad when everythin goes wrong. no matter what i think the out come will either be in a lose, lose situation, in a win, win situation, in a lose, win situation, or in a win, lose situation.. everything is really wierd for me, i couldnt get sleep for the past 2 days.. she's always in my mind now, any advice to help?
    thnx. ac

  1. Guy


    Mar 20, 2006

    Hi. I am wondering if anyone could give me their opinion on this subject? Over the past 3 months I have got very close to someone I have known all my life. She has been with her boyfriend for 2 years and I have never before had any feelings about her. Since we have become closer other mutual friends have commented on our friendship and some believe it is more. Even her boyfriend has discussed our friendship at length with her. The thing is that I have now fallen for her and I know she has feelings for me too, but not sure how far they go. Should I just let her relationship run its course or tell her exactly how I feel now, in case I miss the moment altogether?

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