It is common and practically a code of gender for any group of giggling gossiping girls to have that oh so imaginary conversation ‘What would make the ideal man?’, or to indulge every so often into that illustrious notion of ‘Who would qualify as Mr Right?’ Of course for each girl Mr Right is different, and indeed one girls Mr Right is another girls ‘…Out of the question…Couldn’t be more wrong!’.
Having only ever been acquainted to and falling head over heels for a cue of Mr Wrongs, and failing the task of subjecting one man to the status of Mr Right, the next most convenient and sensible course of action unravels: analyzing every man in the celebrity Kingdom and ripping apart one characteristic or feature from the contenders in something more like mental mutilation in effort to create the perfect man. The practice is virtually logic in any girls maturely imaginative mind…be the object of fascination, him or it resembling something more alien-like than man.
Have you ever shared highly charged and promiscuous fantasies about creating an ideal man using man A’s torso and man B’s right thigh…and man Z’s personality? Or is there only one particular goat who manages to float your boat hook, line and sinker? (That being until the boredom sets in and the time for change approaches!).
Taking a more individualistic and realistic angle: Who of the male celebrities past or present do you find most physically appealing? Is there just that one gifted celebrity or perhaps ‘politician’ or sporting hero…who makes the rest of Adam’s son’s pale into insignificance…looks, sense of humor, intelligence, sophistication…firm succulent buttocks and all? Tender to the touch I might add…obviously referring to the personality!!!
More to the point and taking the slightly more optimistic ‘shred them to pieces’ concept: Which face do you feel has that extremely alluring factor to make you weak at the knees, and whose sense of humor would you inject into your self-fashioned pretty boy? Perhaps if you could create the near perfect man to be your partner by selecting characteristics and features from many different men, including the personal traits; what aspect of each celebrity would you take? Keep it clean girlies…and lady boys!
Lastly for something more meaningful: Are you a believer that Mr Right exists and if so do you comprehend accidentally or indeed purposefully meeting him? Perhaps as someone we encounter briefly a-la ‘brief encounter’. Or do you simply believe that there is no such thing as a perfect match and it‘s inevitable that you will have to accept a man with flaws, even ones that have you screeching at every occasion?
By guest writer Sam
thats a pretty good question. i usually just take one guy on his own, then switch to some1 else when i discover that he has an attribute i dont like. it never occured to me to fold them up on each other.
ill get back to u on that.
i did not exactly read all of your post, but my dilemma as a girl, is either i have a guy who is intellectual, mufakir, with good educational background,and many other good stuff like sensitivity, but not Good Looking, or at least not kissable.
Or I have a good looking male, sensitive and all that stuff too, totally someone i can see myself mating with, but not intellectual, mufakir, only mundane (hamshi), he just wants a wife, kids and stuff like these.
i do not feel satisfied with eather one, i have met a guy who left his civil engineering job, bcz he thought it was boring, and not something constructive like what he is doing, studying masters in environmental engineering , he wants to do something about the pollution issue.
A man like that, makes me love his brain, his mind, and the way he thinks, but the problem i do not find him attractive.
or the attractive male, i like what i see, but i do not necessarily like what hear over our conversation, the only he can please me with is sweet talk.
This is my problem, i want a guy that i find attractive, with somethng in his mind.
am i a picky woman?
i need to know.
As for you question "Are you a believer that Mr Right exists and if so do you comprehend accidentally or indeed purposefully meeting him?"
i believe there is MR right for some people, and yeah probability plays a role, however, there is also, a personality criteria you need to fill, you gota have an open heart, and be able to love people, and humble.
It is like you were reading my mind when you wrote this because I have been indulging myself lately in a few fantasies regarding my Mr Right. My problem is I do have a successful, hardworking, intelligent and goodlooking male. However all I can manage to do is pick at whatever fault he has, while I find myself occupied with an unattainable stranger who will never be mine.
7abeebaty,
when u fall in love with an amazing guy, HE will be Mr.Right...even if hes none of the things you were searching for.
good luck :)
"when u fall in love with an amazing guy?"
Define amazing, or is it all about perceptions?
and are there plenty of "amazing" guys , i think they are 3umla nadira :)
sam what about a MRS.RIGHT eh?
there cant be just one guy out there for each person, it isnt logical bcuz there r billions of men in the world and the chance that ull ever even meet ur mr. right is as close to zilch as makes no difference. so i dont belive mr. right exists at all. but for my part id like a guy whos really intellectual and likes to debate w/ me. he needs to be really interesting and understanding too bcuz sometimes i get these phases where i hate all my friends even tho theyv done nothing to me.
also if hes hot i dont mind. LOL.
I have rarely heard of a man looking for the ONE, or the one single female that can keep them tamed. Men are much more visual than females and so they easily get attracted to a string of women, look at the animal kingdom: all the males show off to any female that comes in sight but in the end the female chooses based on masculinity or chemistry, if another male is lucky he can intervene or challenge her decision or the other guy. Men also think they like a certain type of woman- soft, attractive, sexy, daloo3a & a bit of a princess- after that experience they think she's too materialistic and dramatic and go on searching again. This time questionning what they ultimately want in a female. Women are much more caluculating and they zone in to the attributes they prefer in men quicker. They put looks aside coz I think we're more concious of the come and go aspect & how little you gain from another persons looks. A woman ultimately gets attracted by the way a man can make her feel. A man has to figure a woman out. You men have got it bad I'm afraid...
There is a such thing as Mr. Right. I found my Mr. Right and knight in shining armor. He is all that I can ask for. Believe me no one was more picky than I am. But if you wait you can get what you want. My husband has all the qualities that I wanted and I am so thankful, so don't give up hope girls and boys the right person is out there just wait and it'll come.
"Men are much more visual than females and so they easily get attracted to a string of women,"
i dont know , i have a hard time when people generlize women and men behaviour, i think women can be as superficial as men, bodily and easthetically wise, women also, want good looking babes too, i think it probably bottoms down that men are more of risk takers, and women tend to like choices that make them feel secure.
"look at the animal kingdom: all the males show off to any female that comes in sight but in the end ........"
wooohooo, animal kingdom, that is too much of a generlization, and faulty, not all animals parallel humans in their gender relations, i personally find that lions are bunch of pussies, all my respect goes to the lionesses, the labwas....:D
"female chooses based on masculinity or chemistry"
so men do not choose based on feminity or chemistry, whhhhat?!
"Men also think they like a certain type of woman- soft, attractive, sexy, daloo3a & a bit of a princess- after that experience they think she's too materialistic and dramatic and go on searching again."
you can just flip this statement and it would fit on women too....and it really sounds that is based on a human experience, and females are like that too, the more i dated, the clearer the picture of the man i want i shape, we all discover things about us and others through experience, and this is not just a male central theme.........its a human .
"This time questionning what they ultimately want in a female. Women are much more caluculating and they zone in to the attributes they prefer in men quicker."
women are more realistic in their approach, they less of a risk taker, they want security, that probably makes them less secure than men are....if women are as confident and as risky as men are, you will see a whole new different picture, and also, the whole biological clock effects women psycology more than men, it would probably effect their psycology later than women.
in the end, women do have fantasies, they do shape their perfect guy in their heads, but not all of us find him, what natalie have said in here..could be right...
"the chance that ull ever even meet ur mr. right is as close to zilch as makes no difference."
Lucky,
how old are you when you got married, and i am the pickiest of the picky, i wish if what you are saying can be true for us, the picky bunch!
but sure, you must be one of a confident women, not all gals wait you know, alot of them wana get done with the marriage thingi lol
Wow Dina u dissected everything I said. It's not a stereotypical approach- it's more one of observation. And I'm referring to something more common than the whole of society. Women are more manipulative and calculating and it's up 2 them how they choose to use it- it stems from the fact that women talk to each other, gossip and share details and experiences, whereas men tend 2 prefer competition they won't share details of their relationships as such, they will just attempt to figure things out alone, or try to find answers whilst remaining discreet perhaps over the internet or by reading etc.
Women do go 4 aesthetics ‘temporarily’ I never said that they didn't, but they keep their options open in terms of life long companionship whilst acting out the role of devotion and taking advice from others about whether he’s good enough- but women still go for how a man can make her feel over anything else. They make mistakes on the way tab3an. Men can be average looking or complete crab faces and still aspire to partnering someone physically attractive. Women who are not so attractive know their chances with good looking men- very little- and so they are able to reduce their options. I dunno how u can define being realistic seeing as most couples; be they brought together in an arrangement or by love are getting separated and divorced. Sometimes realism just doesn’t come into love or choosing a partner: unless u mean realism is whatever society believes to be right for you.
And yes men are visual this is not generalizing- it's a fact- they are turned on sexually and mentally by physical tenderness, seduction, by pictures etc. That’s why a man likes his woman to change the style of her hair, buy new lingerie, keep weight in control, get polished and spruced up for their mans eyes only. But women can still be turned on by a big beefy hairy lamb-chop of a man in dirty shorts as long as he makes her feel special. Women are turned on by how a man makes them feel emotionally, and by confidence. It's Science and it is nature. A man sees a blue movie and up he goes, a woman sees a blue movie and all she is interested in is technique or noting down tips. I think we do have to realize that man is man and will never be understood by woman and woman is woman and will never be understood by man no matter how much of a tomboy or a psychologist she is.
I've never ever heard a woman say that she wants a man who is not well endowed, or that they want a man who is a virgin.
I have heard men say they either prefer the shy sort or the confident sort. They like blonds or brunettes, they like big melons or small melons; they like virgins or just don't care.
Women are just interested in how a man can make her feel. A man just looks for too many qualities and loses himself in the search. Having said that, many women like power games and challenging the idea of typical gender roles etc. So we are seeing or have witnessed big changes since the 90's masalan. But that still never changes the idea that people ultimately wanna feel a certain way and be made 2 feel a certain way by their companion.
small melons don't exists...swap 2 lemons.
I do not know but I never had any dreams of Mr Right or a knight in shining armour as I grew up or dreamt of that grand white wedding as I grew up. I do not know but I enjoy a guy who can challenge me mentally, not necessarily well endowed, I guess not too much :D. I always try to pick at any little fault I can find in a guy, even though I am not perfect but I always seem to find something to dissect, I kind of mutilated the few relationships I have had with that attitude(hopefully not anymore). I guess you can be with a guy who is not necessarily Mr Wrong but not your Mr Right, and when you find the one you are their Ms Wrong.
*need to erase one of the "as I grew up"s.
perferction is an impossibility,therefor there is no such thing as a perfect match.but there is a thing called love which is the purest thing u'll explore in ur life.
Sam,
i do not wana disect again, not in the mood, being very busy, but what made me come back and comment on one thing is my consiousness...
and it is about this...
"I've never ever heard a woman say that she wants a man who is not well endowed, or that they want a man who is a virgin."
all i can say that these women are mutakhalifat, a man who is a virgin is not less in his manhood to a man who is a non virgin, and everyone's view their own sexuality differenlty, and those women do not eve know that every women is stimulated differently, so a man better know the women to know how to pleasure her, stupid pppl....man...,,,,,and again, and i will emphasize my point again, you gota study the environment and culture which has a number one effect on women's psycology.....
and i do not wana even explain more, it is a big huge subject to be honest with you...........not in the mooood .....