This is the closest poem to my heart that I wrote and I know that this is not an article but i thought it might be close to some of your hearts too...
you are in a white small room
a perfect place for misery to bloom
you hold her hand and you dont wanna let go
she doesnt want to go but she knows it's time to
her hands feel so cold
you look at her, she is beautiful and not even old
the room gets smaller
your eyes open wider
a tear falls but you don't know why
she is not asking whats wrong, she knows it is goodbye
your hand shivers, sudennly you can't hold her anymore
the more the fingers part , the more you feel swept off the shore
you turn to see an open door
and you wonder if it is the one
you wonder if you went through it.. will you find her waiting?
you run to the door with your heart beats racing
there is a long white way with white poeple talking and smiling
don't they know ? do they care? dont they know that the sun won't come shinging
you fall on your knees...crying
you want her but baby ...she is gone
you feel like a 2 years old boy with a broken game
like the soldier who fights for love you crawl with no pain
you open another door ...
By guest writer Randa
this is a very good poem its very neat and understandable.good job who ever wrote it .
This poem was amazing .. Really so cute and romantic .. Why cant u publice one poem every week? coz i love poems and im sure that many other people does that 2, specially if it's so good like this one .. I really love it!
ooh im so glad u liked it:D . it written by me and i will sure post waleg more of them if they found it good enuf
THANKS!!:D
Hey randa, this is a very touching poem indeed. Good job, miss! ;)
well its a good poem but u need alot improvement! =D (la tab3an 7abeebet 2alby is the best one to write such peoms)
it sucks;p
oooommmg this is an amazing poem hun! rli hit me! ur sucha good writer! Keep up the work, u star -- ur bestest english pal is very proud of u ;D lol. luv ya lots!always ere for ya! Leanne xx
oooommmg this is an amazing poem hun! rli hit me! ur sucha good writer! Keep up the work, u star -- ur bestest english pal is very proud of u ;D lol. luv ya lots!always ere for ya! Leanne xx
oooommmg this is an amazing poem hun! rli hit me! ur sucha good writer! Keep up the work, u star -- ur bestest english pal is very proud of u ;D lol. luv ya lots!always ere for ya! Leanne xx
hey!
i think it's really romantic poem and it seems to be grief but not grief as grief i mean it's sorrowful i think it speaks about mental suffering of love but really i like it i think it's low voice of heart suffering and i hope u to write more,
Best Regards,
SarSoOoR.*(-_-)*
Good job, i really like it
this poem starts good but its like an airplane falling the ending just does not fit "you open another door"??? u could've widen ur imagination a bit more and tried to say wat u wanted to say in a different way but neways good job for trying but try harder next time if u wanna see wat a poem is let me know...
its alright.
ummm it seems like ur trying to hard 2 b 'poetic' if u no wot i mean...tryin 2 make it sound like a kinda confusing poem filled with hidden meanings n dat...i duno if u get me or not..but newayz..i couldnt write one like it...so well done randa...u seem like ur a good poet...
the poem is ok
this is a poem i have done
What a pretty doll, with her hair up & black
Why dont you twist the rusted handle stabbed in her back?
Watch her scream and her bones crack
Her voice so pretty, so delicate and flat
Deep, pale, leathery skin
Bleeding rusty oil from within
Her spine twisted, her skull cracked
She and the stitches on her arms wont last.
Dark eyes so hopeless, lost in despair
Stuck in a corner where dead children play there
They treat her so badly, without little a care
As they twist her into pieces, and rip her pretty hair.
But she still dances, with a knotted spine so cracked
She makes pain look pretty, as her feet gently click and pat
Her tears of string from those broken glass eyes
Go bright for a mere second, as she dances, hypnotized.
Another broken toy, in my toy box
Forgotten by living, untouched by clocks
Bleeding endlessly from their hearts, they're locked
To forever be killed, tortured, and mocked.
twist dolly...i like de poem...its cool.. :D :D
so many talented poets about :D :D
i have poems or nice peaces of work!
Well, I'm a big Poetry fan, i write my own poems and enjoy reading poems by well known poets and authors such as Shakespeare, Blake, Owen, Sassoon and Hardy. I've had many poems published since i was 10 years of age. And i am currently making a whole collection of my poems and hoping that it will be published.
From my personal opinion, expertise and experience i dont really consider this to be a poem. It is rather unstable and incoherant and has many unintentional grammatical mistakes (ie not used for effect but made due to lack of expertise). Any one can write a poem but the degree of how successful and effective a poem is relies majorly on the structure, imagery and diction that the poet decdides to use.
Additionally the people on here who seem to have 'liked' the poems, are obviously not very expereinced in such matters.
This is really not a critical analysis, but just my personal opinion and probably some advice or constructive criticism in order for you to improve your poetry, seeing as you seem to have a keen interest in poetry writing. Hope you take my comments with an open mind and heart.
Anonymous.
nah published poem its just a rather crappy poem thats all! neyahhaha.
Very creative randa but you could have done more to make it even better... ;)