Can Girls & Boys Be Friends?
Once in our lifetime, at least once we found our self having a friend who is from the opposite sex… And when we talk about him/her in our conversations we always say: oh, he is just a friend, but, is he really JUST A FRIEND? Our elders always say these kinds of friendships always lead to some place dark like one of us starts having feelings for the other and other things. What do you think? Tell us some of your stories we can't wait to hear 'em!
By guest writer Uzma
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of course boys and girls can be friends, without any 'love-feelings' has to be involved.. i've got so many friends, who are boys and i talk perfect with them.. and no, they're not g**!!
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Yaman,
Check WALEG in the coming few hours and you will find your article, it was planned to be published this evening before you even posted your comment :)
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What if the guy love his best friend and they become lovers. I don’t think is good idea.
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What if the guy love his best friend and they become lovers. I don’t think is good idea.
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in my opinon pretty girls must have male friends coz most of her female friends show GEOLOUSEY along the road of friendship.. altough its dangerous coz it might lead to LOVE...
i prefer a g@y loyale friend we can shop,gossip,like the same movies & music!& he can never backstab me !!!!!
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oh thnx waleg
xx
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i have some really close guy frineds like best friends, and they always talk to me about thier girl problems, and me about boys..
so im saying, it might be rare 2 fine really friends from opp sex but trust me its possible!!
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OK, that was my nickname which I have to change now
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Most of my friends are girls butI don't mind having male friends as long as we treat each other as siblings.
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some of you girls are christans that you can have any male friends, but muslims cannut have a boy friend or friends.
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Hi all, hi arabia. Please take this with all the respect u deserve, but I think that it is a pity that u cannot have guy friends. I am a Christian Lebanese girl living in Australia and I believe that having friends both male and female avoids a lot of problems. I mean, if girls have no guy friends, girls and boys get curious about the unknown and problems can a rise (if u know what I mean).
When u have friends from both sides, u not only get to know how the other guy thinks, but it loses its mystery. It also develops respect between them.
I believe girls and boys can be friends and the men in my life I love and respect dearly like brothers.
Thanks Waleg for such an interesting topic.
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HI CAROL,
I AGREE WITH YOU. SPOT ON.
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Hi Lebanesethefirstone. in what part of the world do u live and experience this? Is it the same to where I am from?
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for you can have friend males not me, your christans are so different from islam. So, i wasn't talking bad things about you're religion, i just said what i put. Car, Dont be smart. end of sentence..
..in my country i never heard such a dumpy about girls and boys could be friends.
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arabia,
I dunno what are you on, but there are plenty of arab muslim girls with boys as their friends, also boyfriends and at time lovers. It depends about the culture and all the other stuff in respect to the environment.
I personally, definitely i have male friends, and i find it quite possible.
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arabia,
where are you from?
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why you want to know? so you can tell me that i can have male friends. Whatever, i dont want to hear.
You are so full of it.
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I really do agree with you dina and carol Austrlia. My father really doesn't allow me to have guy friends, but i think that you can consider them as your brothers, you know. And it is better like that cause you have them whenever you need them, and they really do protect you.
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ok then, do not open the curiosity door, and do not say christian that and muslim that, you are not in that position to define people, & let others be without any judgement. take care.
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ARABIA, I am deeply sorry if I have offended u. I really did not mean too. U were the one that bought up the religion bit- I was just responding.
DINA, u r right- religion should have nothing to do with it. I have many friends, boys and girls, of all walks of life and I look at them as an individual and what they have to offer this world. U r so right- it has nothing to do with politics, religion or nationality.
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Wow....okay then..i am muslim..i have a lot of guy friends...okay any muslim father or mother says that you are not allowed to have guy friends..i am sorry but thats purely pothetic and stupid...cause this world is women and men..not just one sex...so therefore...its pretty stupid saying that you're not allowed to have guy friends if ur a girl..and to arabia...don't generolize like that...u said
"but muslims cannut have a boy friend or friends."
...actually ur wrong...cause i am muslim..and there are many muslims around the world who have friends as guyz...i have no clue where your from...cause thats just way too weird...
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ARABIA ..
Let me say this without offending you...
I read your comments & its full of HYPOCRACY & PREACHING ... if you are such a stricted religious person WHY bother & comment ??
It seems your living a double life!! you only want to show off ... just live your life & be your self!! don't show that you're an angel coz you are only a HUMAN.
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i was just thinking about religions, thats why i post it.. when i say chr...you get mad. We have different religions. like dina said, I shouldn't open the curiosity door. Im going to keep it in my mind bttr..
you people are so sensitive, is like im going to attak you.
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HI CAROL
YES I am A Lebanese girl living in Australia, Remember from SuperStar, I used to post as LEBANESE only, but someone used it here. I do agree with you, klshy mahjoob marghoob.
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Hi Lebanese the first one! I thought it was u!
I miss Superstar, not just from the show, but from speaking to u, my friends on line!
HELLO!!!
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hi..i am a muslim, i live in a western country. and my father doesnt let me have male friends and till recently i tried not to have male friends, but now sure i do..i mean guys have different points of view and i think for friends its interesting to hear theirs aswell as females view.
Arabia- all over the arab countries girls and guys date and are friends..well north africa, asia and some middle eastern places..i understand it is wrong but its the truth.
For example my family in north africa r strict..and live in traditional town, yet if you go to cities then its the same a western places..im not being offensive as i am muslim too.
also everybody plz stop bringing religion into this..and saying their religion is better..we all have different beliefs and we must not critisise individual opinions
so take care everyone :)
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Hey! Here in sweden
its normal to have friends from the other
sex, so i got many friends and i think they
are just wonderful, they are just like the girls
standing by my side, showing me the right from the wrong, but of course some "girl" things you
cant talk about them with boys, but it dosent matter .. but when i talk with my cousins in lebanon and maybe telling them that im going to the cinema with my friend(a boy) they are just like HUUH?? do you have a bf and blah blah..
Maybe its more normal 2day to have friends from the other sex then it was before, but it deppends on wich country your in.I like to say that you all got great adds and its nice to know what other thinks about it :)
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i published this thingg aND I wanted to say i didnt want to bring religon things ..i meant what about the feeelings that mAY COME MAY NOT AND SHARE YOUR EXPEIRIENCES
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i agree with Mimo
I live in Bulgaria and here its normal to have a guy as a friend and when i go to Syria and tell them about how i ve been out with some guys they ask me a million questions, like : Does your mother know? Are you sure he doesnt want something more than you? ...
When they ask me these kind of questions its a lil annoying for me, but i know that it is normal cuz they arent used to these kind of friendship.
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I am muslim and from Iraq...I have many guy friends some of them are christian too...I have them in school and outside of school!! we all have respect for each other..,I agree with Carol...
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This is subject that is very hard to dictate.
To what extent do you consider a guy friend? Hanging about around in school? Going out with other friends?I don't think it's wrong to have guy friends, but it totatly depends on the extent of that relationship and what it means? Naturally, sometimes having a guy as friend can lead to feelings, I've seen it happen in front of my eyes.
It is haram depending on how a female controls herself and him in that matter.
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Well in my opinion its much better to talk to gurls as they are of a different sex and have different thoughts then those thoughts of guys ....Schools these days are not co-educational(gurls and boys together)which make problems for guys who wanna talk to gurls... if there was a co-educational skool there would be a competition between both the sexes and they would wanna study more to get better grades than each other which then makes skool actually intersting ...for me i talk to gurls all the time and i have no problem with it ;)
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we have 2 have an argument about everyfng.....omdyzzzz ppl...
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i feel that in this kind of freindships we relly have to trust one another, coz if u see my best freind in da world is a gurl and we respect each other al loot. so to conclude only if the two friends relly believe in each other and there is respect, and loyalty, and trust, then only and only then can this kind of friendship can be okay and hopefully accepted by many
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i think guys and girls cand definatly be friends without always becoming based on attractions.i had many guy friends and still do but i nerver looked at tehm that way i actually ask them for advice about my bf's..so think it doesnt always go the dark way hehe
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plus...i am muslim living in canada and my parents dont say that i can have guy friends but they now i most problably do...i think guys can be cool and understanding and they TOTALLY NOT g@y..
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Hi to u all my brothers and sisters! Hi Masrya... for once I dont think we are arguing! People have the most amazing ideas and I want to thank u all for sharing, girls and guys! It is amazing that all over the world, we are all the same, with similar experiences!
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WTF...i am not saying anythin...plz dont like say why i am swearin or anythin..dont mean to..but come on...look at u guyz..u sound so pothetic...is this world just men? or just woman? plz answer this question..NO. so obviously it doesnt matter if u have guy/girl friends....and whats this thing about haram...who said it was haram...ITS NOT HARAM...so just get over it..why are we talking about this subject either...i mean like common...who cares if u fall in love with ur friend...HORAY...watever...why take it too serioulsy...where do we live? why are we so conservative?
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doesnt anybody agree with waht i said
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Derek, u r right. Being in contact with the opposite sex on a daily basis makes one accustomed to it. It becomes normal- and u r right, I think girls and guys can be very competitive and want to out do each other at school!
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Finally someone agrees with me ...thnx carol for the reply ....anybody else??
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Through my own experience, you'd better avoid to have deep relationship with friends of the opposite sex.
I used to have a guy friend. We were very close to each other & then it turned to more than friendship. We spent wonderful days together but then it turned to a disaster & I lost him as a lover & a friend.
I really suffered when we broke up & it has taken me a long time to get rid of its bad effects on me.
I can't say that I regret it, indeed I still love him & I miss him badly, but wished that things stayed at the level of friendship.
Now I still have guys friends because they have nothing to do with my bad experience but I'm very careful in the way I'm dealing with them.
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hahahah !! arabia !! i dono if u'll read this but i just wanted 2 tell yaaa wherever u r from !! n if u think in such a way !! god be with u !! cz i am muslim to0o..n i hv a muslim mom n a muslim dad !! n hahaha i live in a muslim country called bahrain !! its soo old 2 think in such a way cz life has completely changed now !! n i don think that there r ppl who dont hv friends from both the sexes !! i guess !! in fact i'm sure !! n it shudnt be anythin bad or wud mean anythin wrong !! its the ppl who look at it in a wrong way n specially the ppl of ur country if im right abt it where the women have no rights at all !!
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lol good for you then, i thought bahrain is too stric. i guess not, and don't even start talking about my country, you dont know them and what counry im. dont make cuss at you...
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I agree with what you said Darek.
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Derek, How many e-mails do you have? You have different e-mails for both of your comment.
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Muna i have 2 emails [email protected] and [email protected]...but i mostly use angelvsdevil email ...and thnx for agreeing with me muna ...coz what i said is true....
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hay i was readind your comments about friendship between girsls and boys. but you know girls and boys can never be friends. from my own experience , i had a best friend and he was a guy . we were all the time together and one day we started having feelings for each other , i became jealous whenever another girl wanted to talk to him. at the end , we realized it wouldn't work. we couldn't understand each other and now we are separated. this is just to say that there is no friendship. of course you can have friends from the other sex but not best friends.
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lol i dont know
i just want to sleep so i cant really think right now
take care all
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sanfoora-
You are completly wrong! I was born and raised in the states and I don't have ANY guy friends. I'm 20, I go to college, I have a job, I have a car, I go out with my friends all the time but I don't have guy friends. The reason is IT IS HARAM. And it's not because my parents tell me i can't, it's because I don't want to do something haram. I'm not at all saying I'm better than anyone or anything, it's your choice but what's the point of starting drama and crap when you don't have to. I'm Muslim and my religion is what keeps me straight. And the reason things have changed in the Middle East and else where is not just because things change and times change, it's because ppl think it's cool not to believe in your religion. Culture does have something to do with it but I think Muslims are stupid these days. They call themselves Muslim and don't even know what it means. Did you know Haifa calls herself Muslim?? I don't know about the rest of you guys but I really don't think walking around half naked is halal.
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To GG!....i want to tell u something very important...having guy friends IS NOT HARAM! plz understand that...and realize that you cant make up ur own rules...cause its not haram!!..i dunno where you go that information...its ppl like you who make the arab world change and twist it...cause you put weird rules...and say everything is haram when it actually isnt...go back and think about what a muslim is...and then say its haram.
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I don't know where you get your info from but you can't have a close relationship with anyone that is not your muhram. If he's not your brother, your dad, your uncle or your husband you can't have a close realtionship with them. And the only thing wrong with the Arab world is ppl like you who have no sense of haya! Wallahi people don't isthi anymore, all they want to do is be like Americans and non-Muslims.
And fyi, I know what being Muslim is, and if YOU knew then you would know the basic rules of Islam like guys and girls can't be friends. Go ask a sheikh and see what he tells you!
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Actually, in Islam, it is Haraam to have guy friends. Does that mean you can never speak to one, say, in class or at work? Of course not. But can Muslim girls and boys be best friends, chat on line, talk on the phone, and go to movies together? Um, sorry no. And I'm not saying this to be harsh or anything, because I honestly don't think I'm too religious (inshallah i and everyone else can strive to be more religious), but so many muslim brothers and sisters at my local college go out together and hang as friends AND boyfriend/girlfriend and go clubbing and crap like that. Ok, seriously??? Could you ever see the Prophet (peace be upon him) hanging out with some chick named amani at the local bar? astaghfirallah NO. Honestly, if you can't see the Prophet doing it, then you should question it.
And nothing, and I mean, NOTHING can be answered with "Well, this wasn't around in the Prophet's time" or "Well, times have changed, it's been 1400 YEARS!!" Because you as well as I know that the Quran, written by ALLAH!! was made for the people of ALL times, and nothing was forgotten.
So, Islamically, can guys and girls be buddy-buddy? If you really wanna know, please don't just take my word for it: go ask the sheikh or scholar at your local mosque. Seriously GO ASK HIM. He's be completely honest and then you ask him for the proof. He'll give it to you.
Salaam.
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im a girl living in saudi arabia,
and i can tell u guys 90% of girls and guys here do worst stuff then just being friends here.
So here i am in a very reigious country but hardly any1 does wat is suppose 2 be done.
I dont thing having a guy friend as long as u noe ur limits with each other.
i guess everyone noe wats the best for them and let every1 do watever they want 2 do cuz they r th 1 who will be judged for their actswho agrees with me?
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I agree with you about it being their choice. But it is wrong!
It's just sad how no one cares that their actions go against the word of God. It's their choice but it's so unbelievably stupid!
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I respect Christians very much but you guys have more freedom and that’s you’re business. In the Quran said we have to respect other religions Christian, Buddhism, and Hindu‘s and we cant force you to become Muslim. So In ISLAMIC WAY,
Males AND Females CAN’T BE CLOSER OR HAVING A FAIR. FOR THOSE PEOPLE CALLING THEMSELVES A MUSLIM YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. LIKE I HEAR PPL SAID OH AM A MUSLIM then have a boyfriend and girlfriend and drinking, what kind a Muslim do that. Am not that a good religious guy. But this is a Muslim and Muslima do, A woman can't touch a man by a hand or by shaking./
And yes i agree with Mona, in Saudi Arabia is worse country, they do haram things.
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i think guys make the best friends to us girls. i dont make friends with other chickas too well...the are catty, biatchy and jealous of everything.
men friends rock!and I have a lot of single hot guy friends that i would not cross that barrier with. we all know that when you screw your friends, the friendship ends if ya break up.
i dont think arab men are capable of that friend thing though since they are horny lil' devilz:)
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i had a close guy friend my friends keep saying that i like him or he likes me but i didnt then i felt different after a couple of weeks i felt that i like him then he told me he like me back
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hi
do guys be friends with pretty girls only?
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hey everyone. First off im muslim and alot of these things ppl are saying is wrong. First off in the Quran it says the most important thing to have is a friend, after praying and stuff like that. It say sif you can find one person that reminds you of god that helps you improve yourself you should becomes friends with them. That includes guys. But of course that is as long as we know the border. I mean (im really not trying to cause conflict between ANY religions b/c we have our own religion and our own beliefs) with Christians its acctually the same thing. The ones that say its ok they mean for friend ship, and when they talk aout friendship im preety sure they arnt alking about being flirty or going and kissing them. Theres borders for friendship with guys. And some girl was talking about how Islam and Christianity are completey different, they accutally arnt. most of the ruls are the same and its both believing in the same god. ANYWAYZ... lol going back on the topic. i have a friend thats guy, and hes more like a brother to me. we give each other alot of respect and we dont goggle over each other. O.O So i think its OK and it is possible for you to have a guy friend as long as you know your limits. ;)
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im a egyption guy living in saudi arabia,I dont really agree with (Mona.,egyptian) in the 90% thing about guys and girls ,it is true but its starting to decrease becouse they r starting to be educated ,i always hade friends from the opposite sex but i still didnt have a girl that i love or like
thnx
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can boys and girls be frieds? i don't know if i should be a boys friend
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I have a really close friend at the moment who is a boy, and he tells me almost everything. I feel as if I have known him his whole entire life, but I have only known him for about four months, and i met him by mistake. He is a really sweet boy, and I tell him i love him every day, and he says he loves me too, but we dont go out. Its more of a brother/sister love thing. I really do love him, but i dont think about him every waking moment and drool over him like most girls would if they were in my position. Alot of the time he is the first person i talk to in the morning, and at night. Right now it is 1:08 in the moring. We had been talking online since about 10:00. He is my friend, thats it.
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Hi all!,..
Firstly im a new beginner n iv only just started reading everyones opinion...its great!.. made me smile anyhu! and secondly i hope that in the time of my presence i do not offend nor seem judgmental to any1 coz everyone has their own view on things.
so where should i start on my mine..lol firstly im somali and a practicing muslim, though i asure u im still on the bottom rank...lol therefore what i say is purely out of my own judgement as a human being..im sure u'l all agree when fail to answer tricky islamic questions u pose at me.lol
...anyu everyone of you is right in what u say. though all 'o' ya'll think differently, so who is anyone to judge any1 else.
i think that we should all get on as a whole, (boys and girls) as human beings and there is nothing wrong with having guy friends..My greatest and closest frnds are boys and i get on better with them then i do with girls but that isn't to say that im right..iv always liked being around boys even when i was a child..
As a somali parnt..well lets just say if u were under age and u went clubin,"Wat wud ur parents say?" ..lol..i'l leave it to ur imagination as to what they say! ...
I totally agree with friendship with the oposite sex. However as a muslim is states that boys and girls dn't interact as it brings unwanted physical or emotional attraction..as im sure we all think it could be mutual to be friends without any emotions but hardly thats ever the case..the case is whether or not we feel anything for our "guy friend" or "gir mate". which is what we as muslims are advised not to do unless we are doing it with good intentions, such as wanting to get to know someone to marry that person (in hallal, that means what is permisable)i always disagreed that how we girls can relating to guys can be done with out no probz but circumstandces have prove the odds. in some time or another you grlz will have seen different as to "friendship" its more likely that between the two people at least one of us might have stronger feelings then the otherside. e.g. a girl could think that she is "just friends witha guy but he might feel different. likewise for the girl.
Nevertheless as most of u have already said, we are only human so we can't help our feelings towards ppl,whether its boys or girls..some people might even fnd out they are atracted to the same sex..some fall for their best friend whos a guy or a girl. buts the totally the individuals business so we can't judge.
From where i stand as a western person i completely agree with having guy friends but as a muslim i see the errors and comfussion that it can bring.
i see the reason why some ullamad, and also our prophet mohammed (pbuh)said that it is not a good idea to mingle with the oposite sex to begin with as it will avoid any MISINTERPRETAION OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP FOR BOTH GUY AND GIRL. A ulamahd is sorta like skollars, tho in islam(correct me if im wrong tho)
In islam they also say that in between two peolple there is always a third and by this they mean shaydan (satan) so whether we like it or not,wan't do it or not shaydan will cause us to experience somewhat physical attraction or unwanted feeling between friend..i tlk with experience as my bestest friend is a guy. but thats just me in my experience..
However it can happen to any1.... over all friendship is different for all religion Islam and christian and jews in some way do agree on the same theory but in some they don't..
if any of u go bck on early christianity it will say that boys and girls shouldn't mingle..(correct me if im wrong) :).U can get extremest in all religion as well. but for all of us IT ALL DEPENDS ON MODERNITY NOWADAYS AND HOW STRONGLY WE BELIEV IN SOMETHING..The END....LOL sorry bout the essay!
yaman
Apr 10, 2006
waleg how come u never post my articles