I want to share my ideas and worries with you. I have extreme worries of getting old. This really started when I was 25. Now I am 28 and each year passed away my worries intensifies. I don’t really enjoy my youth properly and blame myself when it is too late. I hate my attitude, everything worries me like education, friendship, love, marriage etc. I don’t know if it is only me or you also have the same worries.
Recently, I met a guy and he is really wonderful, charming, educated and very caring person. After we got engaged I found out that he is 7 months younger than me.
I was really shocked. He doesn’t care at all about the age difference, but for me it is like pouring a fuel on fire. I started getting worried once again. Would he love me in 10 or 20 years from now, or would he leave me for younger girls? How will the society accept us? As in our customs, men should be older than women in marriage. We are almost the same age but I know women get older earlier than men. I am afraid I will look older than him in 10 years time. I wish I knew how to deal with it, how to accept myself as I am.
Do you have the same fears of getting older as me? Do you accept a man who is younger than you? How is our society dealing with age differences? Please share your ideas & opinions and maybe some advice would help. Thanks.
By guest writer Dina
comments
hey Dina,
my name is dina as well lol :D
Personally, i think it is more of a insecurity issue other than anything else, besides seven months is not a big time, and i've seen marriages where women are older than their husbands.
I personally would not mind dating a guy young than me, as long as he is matured, i would say 3 yrs is max.
I think you should enjoy your life, being more secure about yourself , this happens from achieving things in your life and try to do the things that you CARE about it.
I also, a sense of regret about your past and how you probably think did not spend quite in a fun way.........well you see, it is just probably you, or you are not ardent enough to do the things that you wants/love instantly.
personally, i think you should cement your relationship with your partner and please do not let your insecurities kill your relationship with him..........as long as you are young at heart he would not look at any other woman,,,,,,,,besidees, he seems open minded about age and stuff like these and think about it...........if he wanted young girls, he would probably would not pick you..........so light up lady!
you know what i think it is, i think you should get back on the things that you regret NOt doing.......start do the things that you like.........and jini or itkhablii..............and then you will feeel your shabab, min wa7id yitkhabal,,,,,,,,well i mean it in a sane way.
you take care for now :)
Dina,
When I first read your age difference, I thought you were making a joke about it. But as I kept reading, I realized that your worries about the age difference (7 months) is in earnest. How sad that "tradition" would instill in a woman such anxiety over something as insignificant as a few months. And who told you that women age faster than men? That only happens when the man sits around and lets (or makes) the woman work herself to exhaustion day after day, year after year. Please respond. How can we help you to see that there is no problem in 7 months, but that the problem is imagined or believed, based on something that is not accurate?
hey kelli,
this is true, women do not necessarily age faster than man, i personally think its a myth, my mom looks much younger than her age, as do my older sister.
i think the recipe for aging,
is to get pregnunt with six kids, ignoring yourself, and giving your time solely to others, i think thats true for older generations, but as women take care of themselves, they can keep themselves in tact.
besides, don't men grow bellies.......and get boobies when things get to sag looool well thats if they do not care about themselves.
and aham shi is trust......betwee men and women.
take care
Well said Kelli
Hi Dina
I agree with kelli and I just want to add another point if you can stay together for 15 years I don't think look will matter anymore. You can be Miss universe and if you don't have the attitude to keep a marriage together you will endup with a divorce.Samething for man. It just question of attitude and sacrifice and understanding each other and try to keep each other happy and comfort each other no matter what. That's the key to keep a marriage and relation going on not look not age. But you have to keep taking care of your self and don't say I'm old and cry about it. You have to fell good in your body in any age.
im fifty five years old and im so happy my age. i like to play with my grand children, it remind me when i was 10 years old. i love to go disney land with them, i dont wait the death come. I just be fun and live my live hany 7ann and i dont worry things at all.
what a great life.
omg hahaahha thats so freeeeeeeeaky i was just discussing this with my friend on msn! we were going on about staying young at heart forever! iv just turned 18 and i was upset that im classified as an adult now in the UK and i wanted to remian a child forever! then we came to the conclusion that youth isnt through age but through personality and character and love of life! and i decided to remain the kid forever and ever even when im 80! innitttttttt!haha
hey guyz..
ofcourse everyone fears age and death but thats how life is u cant always stay and kid and remain the same forever..u need to move on and discover life and the things to life..but most importantly dont worry its ur time of life soo live it well..
yalla ttu guyz laterz
Dina and Kelli and Dina1 and all u women make me proud to be a woman. Ur advice to Dina is sensational and spot on. I dont think I can add much more but here are my humble submissions.
Dina, do not feel bad as we all feel like that at some stage in our lives. However the key is recognising it (which u clearly have) and then to do something about it and move on.
I am also 28 years old and cannot fault u on such feelings as I have been though this- and maybe still am to an extent. U see, I was 20 years old when I lost my mother, and as my siblings were a lot younger than me, I had to look after them. Now that I am 28 years old, and my brothers have their own girl friends, and I have never had a boyfriend as I only wanted to look after them, I realise now, that although they are very grateful- the only person I really should be looking after now, is myself.
My biggest fear was always being the one to be looking out the window out onto the world watching people live their lives while I just watched. I have only recently had a wake up call and realised that I would be 70 and still looking out that window.
I know it is easier said than done- but it is just fear of the unknown- but clearly your fiance is man enough to guide u through your fears.
Deep down, I dont think the 7months is not what is scaring u (it is just your excuse), but the commitment to this new man is scaring- and as u are obviously of a more passive personality u risk falling into the trap of letting life pass u by. BUT dont be mistaken into thinking that if u marry this man, that your life will continue to be boring. That my friend, is up to u. U can make your life as exciting as u want it to be. I mean look at our grand mother here. I sure hope I am as happy as u are at ur age. That is an accomplishment in itself.
Dina, chin up, trust your instincts, your heart, your faith and your smart mind, and make a decision as to weather this man is one u can trust, love and live life to the fullist with. If the answer is yes, i think u have just started your journey on your new life!
You have a lot of support here- and I would like to know how u r doing in the future.
Good luck Dina.
Hi all, Dina1, Kelli, fetfet, libangirl & carol Australia.
Thank you very much for sharing your ideas with me and the sincere advices you gave me. I am kind releaved as I never share my secrets with people usually. I will start to work on your advices from today. I look after myself and give my fiance all the love and caring and in the process enjoy our lives with lots of love & fun. As you said it is not the matter of getting old but it is being young at heart forever. I don't want to ruin my relationship with this wonderful man with stupid thoughts. So help me God!
Once again I thank u from bottom of my heart,
Dina