i agree with liban girl i really would want my man to honestly love me and show it and to really be honest with me and trustful and also for respect

Natasha u think u have specific qualifications? Then i must be horrible... i want my man to be muslim, intelligent, handsome, caring, sensitive and a bit baladi too lol just not too much he still has to be respectful and make me laugh bc thats the most important thing*Laughing&Love*

u should be ashamed in urself if they dont like u for u then they can screw themselves!

i definitely want a WISE intelligent man, that knows how to speak and act with 3A8IL. Want him to be ambitious, and not affraid to speak his mind, yet i want him to be humbe (arrogance is a turn off!! ) , and open-minded and acceptable of many other suggestions or, a person that likes to be progressive and not static.
a person that is simple, spontanous, yet sophisticated in the head, and rational, but yeah, i do want him to be ROMANTIC, but i want rationality.

and like i said before balanced, that takes what is best from the west and the east. and a person that is always re-vise himself.

wooow..did i just describe supermine..

and yes, i want to be attracted to him physically, is that a problem .

and of course HONEST, with high MorAL values like how some other girls said.
:)

what i like in a Girl is she has to be daloo3a first of all, not tooo much but daloo3a enough, aggressive and independent when she needs to be. nice eyes, cute face, nice body..im muslim, but her religion wont matter as long as she respects my relig and i respect hers.

Thanks WALEG for posting my comment as a topic. I very much appreciate it.

"what i wanna know is what qualities to arab guys look for in a girl?"

She has to be an arab. She has to be pround of being an arab. Educated and capable of having a proper mindful conversation. Supportive, I want someone that would stand by me.

Able to love and be loved. Has to be romantic.

She must respect God and know her religion. Religion is the foundation to everything really. This of course brings with it a set of values that i need not to mention.

I tend to fall for a person's values and mind first, and then looks.

My first love was a girl that when i met i didnt feel any attraction towards her. But as i got to know her i fell for her personality, and from there i started loving everything about her...unfortunatly she wasnt an arab.

what i really want is an arab girl with all that. A girl that i can share everything with.

Hmm!! I guess i am a bit cheesy!! what can i do, we all have our moments.

my usual answer to this question is quite a lengthy list of qualifications... however i came to a few realizations.... 99% of "cute" or "hot" guys r DOGS...so dont get me wrong i dun want someone whos butt-ugly...but acceptable. 2nd of all...i realized that its worth it to sacrifice everything u WISH for in a man, like money, looks, educations etc. when u find someone who u fall in love with and who u "get along" with and someone who will be genuine and faithful... all am sayin is be open-minded cuz u might be overlooking some ppl in ur life who may be the ONE..:D

Tot! Thank for the posting..it's interesting!

I want my man to respect me, be honest and trust me...I want to marry my best friend ..we laught together, have fun, share the difficult and sad moment...Also it's important for my man to Dala3 me..take care of me, love me and be romantic...
My man needs to be ambitious,,because I am...
I also want him to communicate with me any details in order for misunderstandings to not take place,,,Tolerant, a bit religious "not fanatic" ...He needs to be caring and allowing me to be his copilote....I'd like him to be happy that I am high maintenance...because most guys are attracted to high maintenance girls...
I won't him to manage well the money but I won't tolerate if he is greedy with me...
Most of The Arabic guys I met are greedy...!!
I can go on for hours......

hey guys well i have a question if an arab muslim man saw a girl at some event and she was muslim she was arab and she was beautiful, respectful,smart,kind etc. but she did not wear the hijab do u think he would go for her or would he be hesistant bc she didnt wear the hijab. I guess what im getting to is would a man be more attracted to a girl who wore the hijab and everything that goes along with it or a girl who had the same values and was religious but didnt wear the hijab?
*thanx

Odd!

You are right..it's the sex for free...and also they like beeing single so they can do whatever they want...if you know what I mean!!

sihem,

it sucks real bad, i'm no where to be religious, however, i expect myself to be with a respectable, moral, not religious guy. It seems that it is true, in this culture, extremism is the only answer, you either need to be religous and follow god's command, or not religious and do as you please.
people who are in them middle like me, are hard to find, or what it seems to be through my experience.
you know what kills me, that there r many good looking, well-educated, fun-to-be around arab girls and they are ALL SINGLE.....i think there r many insecure men around nowdays, and they are not interested in commitment or anything that connotes responsibility, they go for whatever they desire, not thinking!

oh well, the age of superficiality and extremism, that's my own social analysis spin!

and another point i need to make, is the split personality and the double standards that alot of arab guys suffer from. OK, first of all they are inclined to get married, but then, they expect to get married to virgin women, not all are like that, but most are like this.

honestly honestly, i dont know where am i gona get a like-minded person like me!

sincerely,
dooomed for life :D

to ToT: hey thnx for responding i was jw

"I thing muslim guys would get serious with a non-virgin if she was to explain herself: Alot of us, do things in college that we end up regretting, but as long as we know that what we've done is wrong then hey, that is that"

I'm not quite sure about getting serious with non-virings, i think most of the guys would regard her as a damaged good and would not think of her as mother to their children, and i've got such explanation from a so called open minded, supposedly westernized muslim arab guy. But i agree, there are now men who are marrying women that are non-virgins, but the close mentality is still on.

and personaly, i would not date an ex-pimp, geno type of a guy, not because of the that he is a non virgin, i dont want to be with a guy who have done night stands, and things like that, in the samw time, i'm still a virgin, which honestly, not an easy thing to be in a world where almost everything sexualized, and it gets even hard once the person gets also, i think there are needs and i'm not shy to talk about it, and i dont think it is fair.

but i would not mind a non virgin guy who had been with a woman or women, who he sincerely thought that it would be a fruitful in the end. At least i would have something to understasnd from a man like that.

but then i prefer a guy like me , but who am i kidding, 90% of the not religious arab guys are non virgins, and i dont wana a religous guy.

how about you TOT, would u marry a non-virgin?

All this talking bout marriage and stuff makes me think about jawaz mut3a or 3orfe.. For this I think it's very suitable for young guys who don't want to do anything 7aram. But for young muslim girls and with hijab I think it's a disgrace.! sorry if I offended anyone, but I believe that sex should be kept till after marriage (or should I say 'official marriage'?).. what do u guys think about jawaz el mut3a/3orfe..?

Natasha,

a good point you brought up!!

i think el mut3a/3orfe is the same thing as having sex with a person for the sake of not having commitment, however, mut3a.3urfe can lead to an official marriage just like casual relationships.

i see them the same, but 3urfe/mut3a has just a paper tag on it, and its been legalized, heck, i dont even believe marriage is a contract!! on the other hand, How about people marrying for one hour lol, sounds like prostitution to me!

i think it is important to ask, why some ppl, and they are increasing in number are inclinded to have a commitment? given the fact that we live in the west and finincial issues are not as adament as back home.

Also, the 3urfe/mut3a, just like how sexual liberation serves Men first and last, even though it allows women not be sexual frustrated, but in the end it wont serve her as a woman imho, if she gets pregnunt and later become a single mom, i dont think its easy, also, we women are more emotional, having a man being committed to you, gives you alot of emotional stability and security. i just think women can make men real men, and giving them too much, will definitely spoil them, and being too nice will just make you a plublic door mat. my opinion again.
And given the fact, how our society looks down at women who do such 3urfe/mut3a thing, do you think those women will be acceptable......women in our culture is definitely not as powerful as the men.

and just a question, do you think those shyookh who okays such thing, do you think they will allow their DaughTERS to have 3urfe/mut3a marriage, im sure you know the answer!

but i dont its a disgrace for young muslim girls with hijab .......are they any different than young muslim men ?

to be honest with you people........i think it all became a problem, when people started losing respect and sensitivity for themsleves and for others, the whole solution to the whole thing, really requires a civilized society that can think.

i blab too much about this issue lol sorry...if i was such a big mouth.

hey ODD:

Ummm, what is her reason?? :)!!

Did she just do it in college and now that she is older and wiser knows better, totally regret it, and wont do it again? Does she truely regret it? If so i might, just might, consider a relationship with her...although, quite frankly, i probably wont.

Regardless of how many ppl a girl sleeps with, a non-virgin is just that. And i was just thinking, would I want this girl who slept with 5 guys to tell me she only slept with 1, or would it be better if she told me the truth? tough question!! would the number matter if she really regrets what she's done? I think not. If she "tabat" then all is good, as such, and i dont believe I am saying this, I rather she lies to me and tells me she only slept with one guy.

I guess the increase in the number of guys a girl sleeps with decreases her attractiveness...and the inverse is true.

But again, i refer to your line of argument, I dont want someone who ended up sleeping with 5 out of prostitution or something like that...and i agree with you in that I rather marry a virgin girl.

(I am assuming she didnt have the guys at the same time!! That is a nono!! ;)

sihem...
ur story bout the guy and girl....*sigh* how romantic..i want one of those ;) hahhaha

and i appreciate the observation about guys not getting married these days cuz of how easy it is for them to have sex wothout marriage
and another thing that im glad we agree upon is..

THE DOUBLE STANDARD within our arabic communities.. a guy can sleep around.. mut3a or not..and when he comes to get married everyones like...yea hes a great guy bla bla bla...but if a girl is a non-virgin ..even though its mut3a ...she is considered a ho...everyone wil be like NONONO....she is a BAD girl..honestly wats with that...

PS not that i approve of pre marital sex...its just a point about double standards

as for me I believe that if girls waited all their lives to have sex, then they can also wait a few years more to get officially married. For mut3a/3orfe there are specific circumstances, fx if a woman are divorced, or if an unmarried girl in the 30's maybe wants to be married but can't be officially..
I don't wanna sound as an angel, cuz I aint.. but in this subject I refuse marriages 1000%
what if i got pregnant? i have parents u know, so it would be kind of a hard situation..

Interesting conversation here.....I think that an Arab man would be hard pressed to find a virgin wife in the West that would be willing to marry them. Most Virgin Americans are hard nosed Christian women, who would never stray from their faith. So if you live in the States, and you want to get married more than likely you are going to marry a non-virgin. But what double standards....Arab men have no problem womanizing and breaking women's hearts to get what they want, and in the end they want to marry virgins!!!
Maybe there would be more virgins if men would abstain from sex before marriage.

As for me, my husband is Muslim and Arab and he knew from the first night we met how many men I had slept with to that point.....NO I DID NOT sleep with him that night, but he still called me the next day and every day after that and now we are married 4 years.

I think the reason you all like virgins is because they can't comment on your performances. I have had to teach my husband alot. LOL!!!!

Don't Worry:

That is great for you! I did say MOST not all!!!

lulu
lol im sry i didnt mean anything by it i was just sayin...

to me a guy who knows his religion has the potential and the want to better himself is something im attracted to.. to me and to everyone we all have that "perfect to me image" and just because thats what we want doesnt mean thats what we get.. i mean id take any guys for personality and thats no lie.. something i learned from a close friend was that beauty is something that is only temporary.. and when u get older the only thing that really keeps two people attracted to each other is what intrests they share and how they can talk to each other.. i mean think about it if u marry someone because they look good.. u may not always get something good out of it ;)

Yeah Nora..
really a nice comment...

I think everyone on this board is wrong! (Talk about generalizations). I don't agree that "most" Arab girls in the west are non-virgins, or that "most" Arab men in the west are non-virgins -- but I do understand why you think that. The virgin ones are at home on the weekends watching TV waiting for their parents to set them up with someone. They exist but are not at the clubs... and honestly even if they were, they would probably assume you weren't suitable because you are there yourself!

Everyone sits and writes these pathetic little complaints to strangers about how they are so picky and they will never find someone like them. But truly everyone wants the same thing. Read all the posts above, everyone wants the same thing. We are all the same, but we are here on our computers rather then outside finding each other. That's the problem. Good people exist but they don't parade themselves half naked on the streets, so they walk right by you and you never notice.

I can tell you from my experience, I see attractive women all the time, and the first I do is try to guess if she's Arab or Muslim. Usually by the time I decide the moment has passed! It's impossible to find people in this place. I just moved to dfw and was disappointed to see that there is no Arab community here. The only social gatherings in the community are religious, not social. There's your problem right there. Arabs just can't get along outside a Mosque.

Would I marry a non-virgin girl... I know the answer to that one. I had an opportunity to marry the "perfect" girl 3 years ago in University. She was my best friend, she was very intelligent, she was beautiful. But I couldn't marry her because I couldn't get over how disgusted I felt everytime I thought about it. She didn't regret it. I still miss her, but my feelings haven't changed. Someone above got it right, I can't imagine trying to raise children with a woman with a history of drinking and sleeping around.

"Arabs just can't get along outside a Mosque."

TRUE on that! However, a country from country differs, and communities differs from one region/province/state to another. I know a friend of mine, she lives all the way in Denmark, she met her husband in social party. Some have the typical, meet at wedding parties.

For arab youth, there seems a little venue, like i've been partying to an arab parties that were set up by my university's arab association, however, most people were not my type of people,and apparently the arabs that are my type, i found out later, dont come to such gatherings, i m not even trying to be judgemental, just talkng over what i see, in addition to the small number of arabs in my uni, so not much of diversity.
i think that's why they have all those dating sites i guess.

Anyhowz, all i can say to you people, is try to socialize , travel, and be open, & i so agree on what it is said, everyone seems to want perfection, but no one is perfect.

between, there should be a global arab convetion for the arab mughtaribeen, i would love to be around peopele my age, too bad i'm missing that now though :(

and i agree with susu, there is no arab socializing, at least if i live in a big city, more arabs, it would have been a whole different expereince...who knows..

what i look 4 in a guy is :

HE MUST BE CUTE (and taller than me,)

HAV A GOOD PERSONALITY, AND A SENSE OF HUMOUR

BE SMART AND HAV A CAREER,

HE SHOULD RESPECT ME AND LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE HIM,

HE SHOULD B MUSLIM (a true muslim ie. pray etc)

PREFFERABLY ARAB (egyptian would b an advantage):)
HE MUST B WILLING TO LIVE IN AUSTRALIA WITH ME

am i asking for to much??????

Curious:

To me religion is far more important that ethnic background.

I do however see a fair number of muslim arab guys married to non muslim western gals!

Well, first off, yes I am with an Arab. Why am I attracted to arabs? I appreciate how strong and manly they are. I've always been attracted to them...maybe it's in my blood...I know some of my ancestors came from the Middle East. I also find that Arabs have a lot in common with Spanish people.
Now, the thing is I have found that many Arabs have very strong feelings against marrying people of different backgrounds. I have literally been told that a non Arab could never make an Arab as happy as an Arab would, regardless of religion (druze, muslim, christian, buddhist, whatever!)
What do you guys think of that?

oooops, a type, i just realized in the name i wrote "curious" lol sorry, it was meant to be my name "odd"

I'm glad some people can see the virginity argument for the hypocritical garbage that it is. I owe it to my fellow muslims and arabs on this board to give them my view that the no-mixing-or-else stipulation in Islam isn't going to make them know each other better in the long run.

It wasn't long ago that puritan christians made similar arguments. Fortunately the western world has since adopted a much more liberal view regarding sex and virginity. Wanna do it? Go ahead. Wanna keep it? By all means. There definitely IS pressure to adhere to the superficial notions of attractiveness, but there is also the right to remain strong in one's thoughts on what's right.

Letting sons go out and fool around while keeping the daughters home under pretext of "Morality" won't make better Muslims out of either child. It is up to the sons and the daughters of Islam to fight and win the battle on sexual hypocrisy within and among their own communities. Similar struggles have existed within many ethnic/religious communities, especially to the West and America in particular, for over a century. In the long run, exercising your right to choice because YOU've decided is far more mature than promoting impossibly self-righteous gossip in hypocritically conservative communities.

I realize this takes time. But think about how fake the current argument is: "our religion requires it". If we really believed it we'd all be chaste till marriage but we're not. Doing something because we're afraid of God's punishment more than because it's something we do for the betterment of ourselves and mankind is nothing short of misguided and impure religiosity. Yes, LET'S be virgins if we truly believe in it. Let's fool around (safely: contraceptives and barriers please) if that'll make us enjoy our lives and be better people to each other. But let's not forget that that battle starts and ends with ourselves.

Enough of this "halal for me, haram for you" garbage. If we are mature believers of Allah, we should know by now that He's watching more than just our genitals.