Polygamy in Muslim countries

Polygamy

Should Polygamy be illegal in Muslim countries?

Polygamy has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years. King Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.
Among all the polygamous societies in history there were none which limited the number of wives except Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives to four while making the man responsible for all of the women involved.

Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) ; He was married to Khadijah, for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he had reached the age of fifty that he entered the polygamy to create alliances or to show the Muslims how to treat their spouses under different conditions of life...

Polygamy is still practiced in most Muslim countries with the exception of Tunisia and Turkey. A lot of women suffer emotionally when their husband marry other women. It's not fair for them to share the husband they love, and that may affect the kids.

Do you think the other countries should follow Tunisia and Turkey foot steps and make Polygamy illegal?

By Sihem


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  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Is Tunisia is Muslim country?

  1. MOI
    MOI

    POLYGAMY IS GREAT AND SHOULD NEVER BE MADE ILLEGAL IN ANY COUNTRY.
    IN MY CASE I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE... MORE LOVE THAN ANY SINGLE WOMAN CAN HANDLE... SO I HAVE TO SHARE MY LOVE WITH A FEW.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Hatem!

    Yes, Tunisia is a Muslim Country ... !!! :|!!

  1. sihem from los angeles
    sihem from los angeles

    As for the polygamy...It should be illegal...
    I have a lot of love and respect to The Lion...because it's the one of the few animals in the jugle who has one female. For me a man should be a lion...if he has few women it means he can be a monkey...or any other animal...!!
    Love is pure and sharing it with 4 wives....it's not real...if he has 4 wives I'm sure he can change them or cheat on them anytime...
    Besides he will end up having so many kids becaus Islam want them to be treated the same way ...so if the first wife has 4 kids...he will end up having 16kids...I bet you anything that he woudn't be keeping track of his own kids...
    It's disgusting...

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    lol WALEG even if its in the TN constitution sincerly I rarely felt myself in a muslim country, thats why I asked the question :) I thought they change it

    Anyway Islam allow polygamy with conditions of course, and Tunisia don't allow it at all. Who should we trust the Quraan or the democratic constituations ? Is it Accepting what we want from islam and refusing what we didnt like : that's the case of Tunisia and Turkey.

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Hatem,

    I'm not sure about Turkey... However as for the case in Tunisia, it was introduced and based on the economical situation in the country in terms of individuals’ monthly income which doesn't allow in most of the cases to achieve the main rule of polygamy which is equality.

  1. MOI
    MOI

    sihem,

    for the lion did you know that a lion has more than one female. there is one male with multiple females. and when he has finished from impregnating all of them he will move on to another pack and impregnate more. its the law of the jungle. its a fact that a man should have more than one woman. the animals do it and so do we.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Waleg I know about that, if its was possible they would change it in quraan itself, but thanks to god it is not.

    That's the mondialisation, we don't care anymore about what religion said, its no longer considered as reference. God have forgot to ban it in Quraan (astaghfir allah) so they ban it themselves ?

    A muslim country is a country that believe the word of God or change it ?

    Sura Muhammed : "(8)But those who disbelieve (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism), for them is destruction, and (Allah) will make their deeds vain. (9) That is because they hate that which Allah has sent down (this Qur'an and Islamic laws, etc.), so He has made their deeds fruitless. "

  1. Hassan
    Hassan

    I dont think that Islamic countries should make it illegal... because god said it was ok ! ( 4 wives maximum ) and 4 Tunisia the government shouldnt make it illegal 2 have more than 1 wife...(but less than 4 :) ) and the turkish muslims should have that right as well

  1. Diane
    Diane

    From a woman's perspective, it would be devastating to me if I knew that my husband that says he loves me could alternate days between me and other wives. Love is between 2 people, not 5! A man has a hard enough time loving one much less anymore than that. Therefore, I don't think love has anything to do with a man having multiple wives. It has everything to do with his sexual needs and inability to committed. It's a legal way for them commit adultery. And as a woman, my husband would NEVER take a second wife because for one he would have to divorce me and if he refused...I would make both him and the other witch miserable. Women are jealous by nature and there is no need in today's world for a man to have more than one wife. If you love a woman, she should be all you need and if she's not then you don't LOVE her and you don't care about her emotions and pain.

    Polygamy was meant to care for women whos husbands had died in wars leaving them widowed and their children without fathers in history. Women did not have means to care for themselves then. It is much different today. Today all women need men for is companionship and to have children. We don't need your money or anything else. Face it, men aren't all that great anymore! Women are educated now and can and do hold very high powered jobs, so if we take a man in our lives, he should be HONORED!!!

  1. Diane
    Diane

    What the heck is Khaleeji?

    I originally logged on by running a search on AOL about Arab men....my husband being Tunisian. Tunisia is not the middle east. But I was intrigued by the discussions and find myself coming back as a lot of the opinions that voiced here are OPPOSITE of what I would have thought they would be. I asked my husband what a Khalejee is and he has no idea either....I just assumed it was racist or negative but so many seemed to take offense from it...!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    KHALEEJI: SOMEONE FROM THE GULF STATES..... SAUDI ARABIA, QATAR, KUWEIT, BAHRAIN ETC....

    KHALEEJ=GULF

  1. HinDawDaw
    HinDawDaw

    i dont think khaleeji is a racist term i mean i dont get offended if ppl call me khaleeji it makes me proud anyway thats not the topic well im dont think they should make it illegal personally if i was married and my husband married someone other than me i'd leave him straight away..i mean he's supposed to be mine and im supposed to be his hes supposed to love me and not anyother women it might sound selfish but i wouldnt want to share my husband as im sure he wouldnt want to share me lool:P

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Please NO offensive comments. Offensive comments were deleted.

    You are so welcome to post comments as long as its related to the topic and its not offensive.

    Thank you all.

  1. libangrl
    libangrl

    i think they should make it illigal because its nasty how a muslim man marries up to four wifes and has to be resposible for all four,,,thats nasty and wrong it should be changed..
    yalla pe@ce

  1. just someone
    just someone

    moi u r so dumb wat r u talking about u always say the stupidest things on this website...for example "i think haifa wehbe is an appropriate role model for kids under the age of 5"(not actually said but something he would say)
    have some pride...stick to one wife and one love!
    JUST SOMEONE HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. Hassan
    Hassan

    Hey all !!

    ( sry waleg; this has nothing 2 do with the subject )...

    but i was watching tv.. and there was a documentary about a guy who went thru a hhhhhorrible accident !! And he has grrrrr8 determination that he has a job ( he's paralysed !! ); he works 4 an animation company...

    check him out :

    http://www.sinjab.com/aboutme.htm

    his name is Khaldoon Sinjab....

  1. sihem from los angeles
    sihem from los angeles

    Moi! You need to check your information...

    We cannot follow exactly the type of life that our prophet had since we are in 2005...Before they married so many wives because of the wars, and a lot of women nwere widows...
    That's why "Fokaha and Ulama " exist to adjust our modern life to what Allah wants us to do....
    Back in the the days they were wearing different kind of clothes, no cars existed...etc God wanted us to learn, and be modern ..a the same time knowing our limits....
    Polygamy should be illegal..It's nasty to have a man sleep with 4 wives ...it's like having 3 misstresses in Hallal...

  1. Hassan
    Hassan

    GUYS !!!!!!! Stop arguing about this !! its wrong 2 make something ALLAH said it was legal illegal !!! if god said it was ok.. then it is !! But still, men shouldnt marry more than 1 just 4 fun... its has 2 be neccesary !

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    I dunno why you're all worying about Polygamy ? Since you said that most mens can't fit conditions imposed by islam ? In case he can islam allow that and limited to 4. If you refuse "Polygamy" you're just refusing Quraan and so making sins !! just read this http://www.binbaz.org.sa/Display.asp?f=bz00412

    There is more things important if you can answer, for example how to find solutions for people who're not or cannot marry because of financial problems.

  1. sihem from los angeles
    sihem from los angeles

    Hatem and Hassen!

    That's the problem!! If you refuse plygamy it's sin!! what the hell is this sentence...How can be a sin since you just said it's not necessary there are more important things...in Quran than polygamy!!
    You have to have a brain and think and see what fits our era...We take the basics from our religion, as long as you are not stealing, cheating, helping poor, fasting praying...etc God will never be mad at you...
    Some people have 4 wives ...fast but still do all wrong things ...it's about morals, and pray for Allah only that's religion...

  1. MOI
    MOI

    SIHEM,

    LOOK I SAID IT BEFORE IM NOT VERY RELIGIOUS. MY RELIGION GOES ONLY AS FAR AS THAT THERE IS A GOD. AND THAT HE IS OUR CREATOR AND THAT WE SHOULD BE GOOD AND NOT COMMIT MURDER AND NOT STEAL UNLESS WE ARE STEALING FROM THE RICH TO FEED THE POOR. I DO NOT FOLLOW WHAT PRIESTS OR SHEIKHS TEACH US CAUSE I THINK MOST OF THEM DO NOT EVEN PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH. IF YOU WANT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO A SHEIKH HERE IN LONDON IN REGENTS PARK MOSQUE WHO IS MORE THAN WILLING TO SELL YOU HASH, COCAINE, HEROIN OR CRACK. I CAN TELL YOU THAT MY LOCAL PRIEST IN MY LOCAL CHURCH LOOKS LIKE A PAEDOPHILE... WELL HE HASNT BEEN CAUGHT DOING ANYTHING TO KIDS YET BUT HE SURE AS HELL LOOKS LIKE A WEIRDO. SO BASICALLY GOING BACK TO MY POINT I DONT CARE ABOUT THE SALT AND PEPPER OF RELIGIONS.... I ONLY TAKE THE BASICS AND GOD GAVE ME A GREAT POWERFUL MIND THAT I CAN USE AND DECIDE WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG. THE FACT THAT I WANNA HAVE MORE THAN ONE PARTNER IS NOT A RELIGIOUS ONE. ITS A ''MOI'' ONE. I LOVE WOMEN. I LOVE SLEEPING WITH THEM I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM..... AND THEY LOVE ME TOO :)
    AND WHOEVER THINKS THAT IM A WEIRDO WELL I THINK YOU ARE THE ONES THAT ARE WEIRDOS. IM JUST A REALIST... A PERSON WHO BELIEVES IN ONE THING AND IS NOT SCARED TO SPEAK HIS MIND. BASICALLY IM A LEADER AND NOT A SLAVE LIKE MOST OTHER PPL. IM NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE CAUSE I GENUINELY BELIEVE IN WHAT I SAY AND WHOEVER CANNOT HANDLE MY IDEAS AND THINKS THAT IM WRONG WELL THAT PERSON CAN GO TO HELL CAUSE I DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEM.

    NOW WHERE DID I PUT THAT HAM SANDWICH AND THAT JACK DANIELS ON ICE... I NEED TO GO TO MY LOCAL STRIP CLUB TONITE AND IM DEFINATELY COMING HOME WITH A STRIPPER.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    AND BEFORE SOME RELIGIOUS FREAK TELLS ME THAT IM GOING TO HELL FOR MY IDEAS... WELL I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IM NOT. THE PPL GOING TO HELL ARE THE SO CALLED SHOUHADA THAT BLOW THEMSELVES UP IN A BUS FULL OF ISRAELI KIDS IN THE NAME OF GOD. NOW LETS THINK ABOUT WHAT IS WORSE.... MY HAM SANDWICH OR CUTTING THE HEAD OFF AN AMERICAN HOSTAGE IN IRAK AND FILMING IT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE..... THERE IS NO COMPARISON.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    sorry WALEG for writing in caps but i forgot the caps lock on and i couldnt be bothered to rewrite everything from the beggining again.

  1. slim
    slim

    Hey! I'm tunisian and Polygamy should be illegal in all countries, no doubt!!! Life has changed and everyone has changed !!!

  1. Fadia
    Fadia

    Mistika,
    Your comments rearding Lebanese Christians are insulting. I bet you do not like it when someone insults your religion.

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Mistika,

    Your comment had nothing to do with the article and also it was so offensive and thus it was deleted!

    Please read the note on the top of the 'post a comment' before your post anything.

    Thank you.

  1. Louka
    Louka

    as an egyptian woman, i think polygamy shouldn't be considered illegal because God created it in islam and its there in our Holy Book (Quraan), here in egypt we have a rule that the woman must know before her husband gets married otherwise she can file for divorce (if he refuses to divorce her) in our new certificate of marriage there are rules written between the bride and groom before getting married and many brides write in it that they refuse that their husdands would have another wife. some woman refuse polygamy and i know many other women who accepts it.

  1. Diane
    Diane

    Louka,

    How would you take it if your husband asked you if he could take a second wife? Wouldn't you feel as though you were not "good enough" for him that he would want a second wife? I am in agreement with Sihem in this forum.

    MOI,
    Finally you said something that I agree with,
    AND BEFORE SOME RELIGIOUS FREAK TELLS ME THAT IM GOING TO HELL FOR MY IDEAS... WELL I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IM NOT. THE PPL GOING TO HELL ARE THE SO CALLED SHOUHADA THAT BLOW THEMSELVES UP IN A BUS FULL OF ISRAELI KIDS IN THE NAME OF GOD. NOW LETS THINK ABOUT WHAT IS WORSE.... MY HAM SANDWICH OR CUTTING THE HEAD OFF AN AMERICAN HOSTAGE IN IRAK AND FILMING IT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE..... THERE IS NO COMPARISON.

    So many people spend so much time focusing on the little details in religion that hold no place today and ignore those for which they choose to ignore. But I still think that more than 1 wife is wrong.........MOI, all I ask of you is that you never marry, sleep with whom you choose, and for God's Sake, don't reproduce!!!!!!

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    MOI, we deleted your last inappropriate comments!
    PLEASE, we respect your opinion but such comments are really not allowed!

    Thank you for your understanding.

    And to all our dear visitors, any comments that have nothing to do with the topic will be deleted without notice. Offensive comments will be deleted once then you will be also banned automatically from posting.

    Chatting and insulting each other is also not allowed! This is not a place for chatting, there are thousands of sites on the net that you can visit to chat ... Here if you have a comment about a certain topic, you are welcome to share it as long as it complies with our polices.

    Thank you all for your understanding.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Sihem :
    "You have to have a brain and think and see what fits our era...We take the basics from our religion... as long as you are not stealing, cheating, helping poor, fasting praying...etc God will never be mad at you..."

    God knows better ! He create conditions for polygamy and you refuse it ? What you'll say the day of resurrection ? "Sorry God, but I didnt like that you allowed polygamy, its better if you didnt!! It dont fits our era, I just ban it from my dictionary hope you won't be mad with me ..." ?

    "Some people have 4 wives ...fast but still do all wrong things" Sorry but its not an argument.

    There is people that pray,fast.. but still do all wrong things... So should I say Im not stealing, cheating, helping poor and thats enough ?

    "And when We have recited it to you, then follow you its recital." (Surah Al-Qiyamah - verse 18)

    I know it could be not easy for you, but Would you follow its recital ?

    "Not, but you love the present life of this world, And leave (neglect) the Hereafter." (Surah Al-Qiyamah - verse 20-21)

  1. MOI
    MOI

    WALEG,

    its ok that you deleted them... i was expecting you to do it anyway. im also glad that you deleted sihems comments about me too. its true my opinions are a little too much for the average person to accept. but these are my opinions and im just stating them, and if someone here is gonna be rude about me then i will be rude back. once sihem and the other fools start respecting my opinions then i will start respecting theirs too.

    p.s: i said it before that you do not need to ban me. the minute WALEG decides that im not welcome on this site anymore then i promise just ask me to dissapear and i will.

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK WALEG.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    MOI,

    We didn't say you aren't welcome here; on the contrary you are welcome to share your opinion but just no offensive words...

    If you feel that there is a comment directed at you and it’s rude, please send us an email and we will check this comment and delete it.

    Thank you.

  1. jkta
    jkta

    Diane,

    I'd like to see what you would do if we were to do the same to you. I guess all in time, what goes around comes around.

  1. jjsa
    jjsa

    We should be thankful that unlike all the religions that preceded Islam, we have RULES that manage this process. Unlike Christians and jews who can marry up to a million if they wanted to for fun or whatever reason, for us the process is very defined. Besides, it isnt something that you do just for fun, it is regulated, and a woman's opinion and acceptance is taken into account. If a woman doesnt agree with it, then she can leave the man...if she is with then that is that...

    western societies are run by secularism because their religions are out of date.

    Sihem, the girl who asked what woman would like her husband to marry another.... Here in northamerica threesomes are the trend of the day, but isnt even worse!! polygamy, for those who dont know, doesnt meant 3 or more ppl sleeping together!! not westernized yet.

  1. Diane
    Diane

    jjsa:

    What do you mean
    "Diane,
    I'd like to see what you would do if we were to do the same to you. I guess all in time, what goes around comes around."

    To what are you referring. All I am saying is that as a woman I would not tolerate a husband who would want anyone other than me and me alone. The mere thought that he would ask for a second wife we certainly lead me to divorce him. Except, if I were Muslim, and please correct me if I am wrong, I would not be able to get a divorce if the husband refused without going through scholars or judges or whatever. And a man simply says I divorce you three times and thats that. And so if I were to have to stay in that marriage and I told my husband that I did not want him to marry another, it would still cause me to be miserable knowing that he even considered it!!!!

    And so you know, in all my Christian life, I have never met someone married to multiple women. There is no place for it in our society. And threesomes, disgusting, don't put that on the West as a way of their life. Don't do that anymore than we would say that all Middle Eastern wealthy men have harems and concubines.

    I saw a website about an Arab man who imports American women to be his "slave" for months keeping them blindfolded and ready for him or his guests to please themselves. A man like that here would be sought and arrested as a mad man. I would not generalize and say that "oh that is just there way of life", Please! There are sick people in all nations and religions.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    "And so you know, in all my Christian life, I have never met someone married to multiple women"

    Diane you didnt see, but did you know that polygamy is allowed in christianity ? Its allowed also in judaism.

    In Exodus 21:10, "a man can marry an infinite amount of women without any limits to how many he can marry."

    If you want text from Matthew, Deuteronomy, Timothy, Corinthians, Titus, Jeremiah ... I can give you too.

    "I saw a website about an Arab man who imports American women to be his "slave"" << unfortunately bad people exists and should be punished, but the problem that you're using them as argument against what God said.

  1. Diane
    Diane

    No I was using it as an example against the previous post saying that all westerners engage in threesomes. It's ridiculous to think the whole are judged by a few.

    Well, you believe that the Bible has truth as it is from God, but has been changed by man. So, the parts of the Bible that support multiple wives may very well be the male ego of that time ad libbing or creating their own versions/interpretations.

    As a Christian I know the Bible has been changed through out history. I know that the Roman Catholic Church cut and pasted that which they felt the public needed to know. So I would not depend on the verses regarding multiple wives. To me mulitiple wives is just wrong! But if you chose to engage in it and your present wife agrees more power to you. But it isn't for me and again I would not tolerate it. The jealousy would be too much to bare and consequently it would cause me to be a sinner as I would break every daggone commandment in rebellion of my husband having a second wife. So I don't think God would intend me to give up eternity so my husband could indulge himself!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    hatem,

    i can guarantee you that no church will marry you to more than one wife. until recently you could not even get a divorce in a catholic church except under very rare and very few conditions. so plz do not state things that you believe are facts while you are unsure of them, and are actually utter nonesense. anyway this topic is not a comparison between islam and christianity, its just about should polygamy be banned in the muslim world.
    actually im a supporter of polygamy. the more the merrier i always say. and if your first wife or second or third agree to it then i see no problem. and before some wiseass claims that they are forced to accept it , well thats utter nonesense.... no woman is forced to accept anything... they are not slaves and they have rights like any human being. even in the strictest islamic countries these days women can divorce their husbands. yes sure she has to present a valid case on why she wants a divorce... but is that different than someone in the uk who wants a divorce and is forced by the government to seek counselling and advice before making the decision and even then the divorce wont come through before between 1 year to 2 years depending on how complicated the matter is.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    I ALWAYS WONDER WHY DID GOD SAY 4 WIVES NOT 3 NOT 2 NOT 100. maybe thats not what god really said... maybe the actual thing that god said was different and it was doctered by man to suit his sexual needs.
    yalla now the religious brigade who dont use their brains and just follow what they are told will come down on me like a tonne of bricks.
    its ok knock yourselves out but i wont change my beliefs cause im 100 percent sure and confident in what i think and say.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Dear Diane,

    You mentioned: 'I would not be able to get a divorce if the husband refused without going through scholars or judges or whatever.'

    This is not correct, if you want to get the divorce, then this is your choice... that is in Islam as a religion ... As for rules, in most of the Arab countries, they are almost similar to what you have... All goes through an attorney and different regulations... the only main difference is that you will get the divorce in few weeks not months or years...

    As for the polygamy in Islam, it’s not allowed for pleasure ... etc

    Its only allowed in very specific cases and even on those cases, its hard to have the full religious permission to get married for a 2nd time ... for a simple reason that many of Muslims forget or discard that Allah in Quran said that you are allowed to marry again that is if you treat your women equally however you will never - all of you - will be able to treat them equally.

    So Diane, it’s actually not allowed to marry again in Islam unless in a very specific desperate situations such as the wife has some sort of sickness that doesn’t allow the husband to even sleep next to her… at this condition he is allowed to marry again instead of leaving this woman that he might still love … Also, some women have problems with men in bed.. some are cold… at this condition, the man is also allowed to marry another woman and keep his first wife instead of abandoning her for this desire that no one can deny or put it behind his/ her back…. These are just examples and in all the cases, the man must be sure that he can treat them equally and also to inform his wife about his decision and let her choose whether or not she want to stay with him if that bothers her...

  1. Diane
    Diane

    MOI!

    Again you suprise me with concise thought and valid arguement!!! YEY!!! He is reasonable!

    But a question for all...If you live in a place where you are legally only allowed to marry one, but you decide to marry another "islamically", not legally obviously, is that okay? I know several of my husband's friends who are legally married to other women (though they aren't together, rather these women were paid for papers or they chose to leave their husbands) and the guys turn around and "islamically" marry other women and have children with these women. This is terribly unfair to the "islamic wives" because they and their children have no protection under the law if the man should choose to leave or if he dies. The legal wife, though absent, would have all rights to his property.

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Diane,

    These kinds of marriages are not religiously correct, such men and also women just use the religion as a cover but this is not allowed in Islam and also not allowed under law...

    It’s actually like escaping with your lover..!

    Unfortunately, this is a widely common problem in the Arab world mostly in Egypt which recognized as ‘marriage elorfe’ .. its in Islam forbidden, the main rule for a marriage in Islam to be recognized is to make it public and let everyone knows about it like when you marry in church and invites both family members, relatives and friends…

  1. Diane
    Diane

    Waleg:

    I understand and appreciate the information you cited. But emotionally, if I had cancer and was unable to provide my husband his needs, it would be hurtful for him to marry another. I think that mankind was given the ability of mind over matter. If a sick wife isn't satisfying you sexually, you should accept that and stay committed to your wife without bringing in another. Certainly a second wife would cause a sick wife to emotionally give up on life I would think. And once we decide to give up, you won't fight the illness. SO...I think it is the husband's responsibility to sacrifice his desires for the love and good of his ailing wife. To me that is true love. When love exceeds the needs of the flesh!!!

  1. Diane
    Diane

    Also, if the arguement is that a man has needs to be met and an ailing wife is unable to meet them, then what about an ailing husband with a wife who has needs that aren't being met. Why is there then not a provision allowing her the same abilities? Are women not supposed to have NEEDS? I think that Christopher Reeves wife is a pillar of what love his. He was paraplegic and she stayed with him and committed to him until his death last October. That should be an example for all to follow. A marriage should be between 1 man and 1 woman and no others.

  1. MOI
    MOI

    DIANE,

    in most western countries the islamic marriage is not approved by the government. for example here in the UK, only a church wedding is accepted by the government because it is linked to the civil marriage ceremony as well. all other religions must have a civil marriage on top of their islamic or whatever religion they follow to be approved by the government. so basically a muslim can marry in a mosque and in his eyes and in the eyes of god he will be legally married... but in the eyes of the UK government she is not his wife. and will not have the rights of a wife. there is talk about changing the laws but they have been talking about it as far back as i can remember. you can marry 4 in islam but under british law you are only allowed one, but if you marry 4 in a mosque you will not be prosecuted for bigamy because only your civil marriage is the legal ones and the religious ones are not even approved by the gov. only when the western countries change their laws and start accepting islamic marriages as legal marriages in the eyes of the law is when all those islamic wives that you are talking about will have full marrital rights in that country. but if they live together we call it a common law wife here in the UK and she will have some rights on her husbands money and so will the kids eventhough their marriage is not a legal one. actually if someone lives with you as a partner for more than 6 months and can prove that he or she is contributing to the bills they have a right on your money and your house too. even your kids eventhough they are considered out of marriage will still be legally protected because after all they are his kids too.

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    ANY WIVES WITH AILING HUSBANDS OUT THERE THAT NEED SUPPORT . IM WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE MY BODY :)

    MOI HAS OFFERED AND SPOKEN!!!! :)

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Diane,

    You didn't fully read my post, read until the end you will get my point... If the men is not able to treat them equally then he CAN'T and is forbidden to marry again ... The defintion of treat them equally in Islam means loves them equally, spend time with them equally, brings the same things, having the same confort in their houses... etc .. but mostly Islam insists on LOVE and RESPECT... if a man cant treat 2 women with the same love and respect then marrying again is not allowed for him in any case.

    Also, marry another women is better than having divorce sometimes if we take the sexual side of the story as you mentioned... and that is if the wife accepts so...

    Its a wide subject... Few really know what its really allowed and whats not because people are just listening to what they want while they can simply open the Quran and read whats right and whats wrong...

  1. Diane
    Diane

    MOI,

    You are too funny (sometimes)! But my point was not that a woman should take another man for her needs but that both man and woman make sacrifices of themselves for those we love. Why can't men do what women do....there are toys that don't require anybody else.

  1. Mistika
    Mistika

    MOI such a geberous offer. You are so sweet. I have a g@y friend whose husband is ailing. I will passon your offer to him.

  1. MOI
    MOI

    miskina,

    is he rich enough?

  1. Diane
    Diane

    Maybe this is just asking too much of MEN!

  1. Diane
    Diane

    Mistika, that was priceless ;)

  1. MOI
    MOI

    TOYS?

    I TRIED THEM ALL. AND SORRY TO SAY THEY ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE TO A WOMAN.

    diane,

    basically from my understanding more than one wife is illegal in islam too. because to make it legal you must be able to treat all of them equally, and thats almost impossible. sure you can love more than one person... but can you love them all just as equally... im sure no one can... and that makes it instantly wrong in islams eyes. im sure one will be better in some things than the other one and im sure you will have your favourite in bed and your favourite in the kitchen and your favourite to take out etc..... also most ppl cannot afford to open 4 households and care for four wives equally... so you will have problems there too. there are men that marry more than one but i guarantee you that they dont treat all of them the same and eventhough they think they are not doing something wrong because islam says that they can do it... but actually they got it all wrong. islam said do it... but also islam made it virtually impossible to do it right in order not to do it. if you are like me... then you just take advantage of the situation and do it anyway. cause i just love women.


    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

  1. Diane
    Diane

    You know, after thinking about it some more, there could be benefits to my husband having a second wife. He could live with her so that she would have to clean up behind him. I would have my own space, I really don't care for "pleasures of the flesh" anyway SO....Hmmmmm! Maybe I will go ahead and suggest it to him. I will get finacial support from him without having to DEAL with him and when he is around it would simply be no pressure. His crap belongs to someone else not ME!!! My house would stay clean and that is all that really matters~!!!! LOL!!!!

  1. MOI
    MOI

    DIANE...

    NOW YOU ARE GETTING THE POINT.

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    JJSA!

    Diane already answered for me...

    Moi!
    YOu surprise me sometimes...

    Diane !
    You said it all girl...

    Waleg !

    Thank you...It's all said in your comments...

    Hatem!

    What God Says and what Human use is two different things....As of Waleg mentioned , Allah allowed plygamy unders certain rules, but some muslim...I would say the majority use whatever works for them....For exemple in Gulf Area, I read a book where an Amir had 4 wives and a Harlem full of girls from Asia....etc
    Another exemple from Egypt, a man has a wife with few kids, after his mid-age crisis he married a younger woman without telling his 1st wife ...the new wife has more power...better house..etc...and when you talk to him he will tell you Allah allowed me 4 wives!!!
    Since people are not using the religion as it should be ...Polygamy should be illegal...and the good people will pay for the bad ones...since now it's contrary...
    Asa far as religion....God sent prophets to earth with religion to help behave and organize humans...we don't know exacly what the original Quraan was since before , people knew it by heart until they started writing it...during that process we don't know what happened....So Honestly I pray, I fast, I don't do anything immoral but at the same time I question some people when they interpret the Islam on their favor....Before women weren't as powerful as now and none of them complained when they were given orders....It's all my way of seeing things...

  1. MOI
    MOI

    SIHEM,

    STOP TALKING ABOUT KHALEEJIS. LOOK AT THE PPL IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY FIRST. AND STOP READING THOSE SILLY BOOKS DESIGNED TO MAKE KHALEEJIS LOOK BAD. U DONT KNOW ANYTHING YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. YOURE NOT EVEN LIVING IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD. SO STIK TO YOUR LA AND DONT COMMENT ON THINGS U ARE NOT FAMILIAR WITH.

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Moi!

    As much as you enjoy nudity, I enjoy reading books...if it bothers you each time the name "Khaleej" comes up...honestly I don't give a monkey about what you think...

  1. lula
    lula

    Im egyptian but what is the big deal about the term Khaleej or khaleegi?? i mean there is no other word in arabic for ppl from the gulf they are "khaleegi" it is just like saying masriyah or tunisiyah w saudiya except this is the feminine form...moi chill out and go get one of your hoes to dance on a pole..

  1. HinDawDaw
    HinDawDaw

    i swear i love that guy "MOI" seriously i like the way he sticks up for khaleeji's thaanx sweets! i mean there's nothing with the term khaleeji but its the "things" they're saying about us..........

  1. X
    X

    I don't think Polygamy should be Made illegal in Muslim Countries, No law should oppose anything that came in the Qouran or Hadith, no matter how you like it or hate it, It's a matter that should be solved privately by any Person(S) doing it, The woman could always ask for a Divorce, or better yet, she could always smack him upside the head if he ever thinks about it :)

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Diane :

    "So I would not depend on the verses regarding multiple wives" That's what most christians are saying too, they depend on the verses that they like, so you know why the Bible have been changed ? because you don't care about what God said, but what you like and you don't.

    Sihem :

    "we don't know exacly what the original Quraan was since before" The Quraan is the same until the day of resurrection thanks to God ! And you should know that the Quraan was written so "YOU" and others like you can read it, but its transmitted by heart until today.

    "Since people are not using the religion as it should be" you'll change the religion for them ? you think you solved the problem ? You'r saying a GREAT SIN if you don't know.

    "I don't do anything immoral" changing the word of God is more than immoral and you're repeating the same argument. There is no excuse ! read the verse below.

    "Was it at Allah , and His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and His Messenger that you were mocking? - Make no excuse; you have disbelieved after you had believed" (Surah At-Taubah - verse 65-66)

    Say "Astaghfer allah wa atoubou elayh" God will show the good way inshallah. Only God is powerful, we are not.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Last thing Sihem

    "God sent prophets to earth with religion to help behave and organize humans". No ! God sent prophets so people remember why they are created :

    "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)." (Surah Adh-Dhariyat - verse 56)

    Religion is to show us how we should worship God.

    And God knows better.

  1. sihem from los angeles
    sihem from los angeles

    Hattem!
    There is no need for me to argue with you..we both see things in different ways......
    Thank you for the information...

  1. ioio
    ioio

    Hatem,

    You are amazing buddy!! truely.

  1. Louka
    Louka

    Diane, actually i'm not married yet but if i was and there are important causes to let my husband marry another woman and i'm sure he will be equal to both of us i'll think about it seriously. i think if he marries with my knowledge better than having an affair behind my back.

  1. Louka
    Louka

    Hatem, you are good man, keep it up, and sihem if you have some doubts about Quraan then why do you pray and fast as you said

  1. sihem from los angeles
    sihem from los angeles

    LOuka!

    I have no doubts about Islam, that's why I pray and fast...I have doubts about the way some people interpret and use it...
    By the way, when you get married and will be so much in love with your husband you won't tolerate seeing him with another female...Also why do you keep saying I rather him get married to another one then cheat on me...It should neither one....No other marriage and no cheating as well if he dearly loves you....any man who has few relationships going is an animal....

  1. Louka
    Louka

    sihem i think praying and fasting are recited in Quraan which you said we don't actually know how it was before so we must accept what God permitted as a whole and don't just accept something and refuse another. and about my husband getting married to another women there are cases which make me approve to let him get married because of my love for him and if you understood me i meant a man can marry another woman in some cases not for just loving marriage and having another wife.

  1. dina
    dina

    women have the same exact biological needs if ever in diversifying with their sexual partners.

    no more or less than the male.

    i think the quran is in contradiction with women's nature and psyche.

    is just society and archaic cultural package that allowed men to marry more than one.

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Comments written fully in CAPS will be deleted without notice.

    Thank you for your understanding.

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Louka!

    Somethings are not even in Quaraan ...some people start Fatwa and use Islam ...I read the quraan and follow it as much as I understand it...but to listen to someone who claims to be part of Foukaha and has some serious issues regarding women, just to make them less than human...sorry that's not what God wants us to follow....
    So I love Allah, I pray, I fast, I help poor people, I respect older people...I love my parents ....and do what's right...as far as polygamy I don't accept it ...because people don't follow Allah conditions.....and when I get married and my future husband needs to marry someone else I'll love him enough to let him go...no one can love two or four women the same way that's impossible....Actually if he decides to go for it I will be feeling sorry for him because he will become just another animal in the jungle..

  1. Randa
    Randa

    polygamy was made halal in the quran based on certain conditions, i don't remember each and every1 of them now but will search for them nd post them 2morrow, but one is if ur wife is sterile,and another 1 is if she is insane and is unable 2 maintain and care for the family. there are,i believe 4 of those rules. that's why polygamy should be legalised under those conditions in Islamic countries, and in others not at all because like painkillers,the internet,and all other technological advancements, the human race will abuse them. it's as simple as that. it's not only the financial abiity of the man that must be considered/ for eg, let all the men here chew on this for a minute : imagine ur own wife marrying 4 other guys and alternating between all 4 during the 7-day-period. how does that sound? it just hurts!!!the psychological side of polygamy must be taken within consideration.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    lol MOI the topic here is Polygamy in Muslim countries not Al-Quaeda. I'm not looking to marry 4 wifes neither giving my point of vue ! read carefully what im saying, and don't forget the Caps locked :)

    Dina :

    "women have the same exact biological needs ..." Even science have proved the opposite, What are you inventing ? You pretend you know better than God ?

    (Surah Al-Isra' - verse 85) "... And of knowledge, you (mankind) have been given only a little."

    Sihem :

    Of course you don't have to argue with me, read verse in my last comment (Surah At-Taubah - verse 65-66).

    When people don't follow the words of God we help them to find right way or punish them if they abused ! And you know why they don't follow ? because they don't know their religion correctly. Otherwise today you ban Polygamy, tomorrow veil, then prayer, ... and so on until the religion will be lost ?

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Hatem!

    You are a Cheikh and I respect you. Don't think I'm not following the words of God because I do follow what I understand....as far as polygamy it should be illegal because people abuse Allah's word and do what they want to do in the other hand on the name of Islam...

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    Sihem Im not a Cheikh, I'm just a muslim, and at least when we talk about "muslim countries" and you know that our reference is Quraan and Sunnah. Just use them.

    (Surah An-Nahl - Verse 74) So put not forward similitudes for Allah. Truly! Allah knows and you know not.

    And things that you don't understand in Quraan you should just accept them, thats the meaning of being "muslim". Then try to understand, and don't be like people who god said about them :

    (Surah Al-A'raf - verse 179)And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray; those! They are the heedless ones.

  1. dina
    dina

    hatem

    that's what science says............besides, i'm a women and i know what i'm talking about........believe me, if women had the option to marry more than one..........some would take such option.......just like how some men do take advantage of such option.


    besides, there r many cases where women were convicted for marrying more than one man.....but such cases all hush hush...


    i even think one woman can make mo re than one man happy whilst, one man does not necessarily have the same talent. ;)

  1. dina
    dina

    besides, i think god has some sense of humour, in the end of the aya, he said, "if he can equate between them"

    andwho can do that loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

  1. dina
    dina

    hatem,

    yes i know more than god when it comes to women........i think ur god is pretty much sexist,

    2 shahada of 2 women = one man

    can't pray when u got the period, cz u r considored dirty.


    there is no such thing as marital rape.


    honour killing even though many moderate muslims proclaim that is not islamic, however fundementals dont wana make any changes for the law of such horrible crime, men who kill their sister/moother/spouse, get a six month jail term and sometiems they go walk free.


    its all messed up.

    plz free us from religion.

    it has done NOTHING GOOD>..just double standards and messy gender relationship.

    lets move one plz. ok

  1. xoxox
    xoxox

    Dina,

    For everything in Islam there is a reason. Get to know Islam and then talk about it. I hate it when ignorant ppl like yourself start talking like that...

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    dina

    The topic here is Polygamy not Polyandry ! The second one is totally refused and none have allow it or talk about it in holy books. And its not our topic here.

    "that's what science says" Science have proven that Women's Brain is smaller than Men's one ! This have nothing to do with intelligence, but since you incist they have the same exact biological needs this is a scientific prove. They are not. There is many others I can list them if you want.

    Looks like you are having fun with Quraan ? its not our topic here to prove that God exist or no. We are talking about "muslim countries", it could be free from relgion if it was "atheist countries".

    (Surah Al-Burooj - verse 8)They had nothing against them, except that they believed in Allah, the All-Mighty, Worthy of all Praise!

    (Surah Al-Burooj - verse 10) Verily, those who put into trial the believing men and believing women , and then do not turn in repentance, (to Allah), will have the torment of Hell, and they will have the punishment of the burning Fire.

    The All-Mighty is still keeping a chance to turn in repentance. And stop talking like ignorant, muslims are not ignorant or stupid to listen to anything.

  1. Louka
    Louka

    Sihem, at first you said that we don't know how was the Quraan looked like before writing it then you consider Polygamy a foukaha and should be considered illegal but at the same time you read Quraan,pray and fast this is a contradiction. as randa said its halal and God created it for certain conditions (i said it too by the way) but you insisted that the Sheikh interprit it as they want how and its said obvious in Quraan and any one can understand it. please read Souret El Bakara (the second in Quraan)and see how woman must be treated in islam not under-estimate them.

  1. MOI
    MOI

    hatem,

    just get off the internet and go pray or something.

    all the holy books were doctored by man for their benefits. none of them are the exact words of god.
    i was watching this religious program on saudi TV, where you phone in and ask the sheikh questions. one man phoned and asked is it haram to wear leather shoes made of pigskin. the sheikh said to him that ofcourse its haram. pigs are dirty animals and you should never touch them . i mean how silly can you get. thats not a sheikh thats a psycho. a pig is an animal... gods creation, like any other animal, so why is it haram to touch it or eat it. ppl like this sheikh and hatem make me laugh.

    the basics of all religions from islam to christianity to hinduism to buddhism etc are all good... its what man has added and changed in them that makes them bad. god gave us a brain... its not haram to use your brain and apply religion to todays society. its so different living now compared to living 1500 years ago. use your brain dont be a pawn in the sheikhs or priests hands....

    MOI HAS SPOKEN!!!!

    NO IM NOT GOING TO HELL. NO IM NOT WRONG. YES THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS. AND YES POLYGAMY IS GOOD.

  1. Hatem
    Hatem

    MOI always off topic ? topic is about polygamy in muslim countries not in our "THOUGHTS" :) use your brain to understand the topic first ...

  1. WALEG
    WALEG

    Dear All,

    You can continue the discussion about this topic 'Polygamy in Muslim countries' on WALEG Forum on the follwing address:

    http://waleg.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=4497

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