Middle Eastern Men & Independent Women

Middle Eastern Man

Each time I meet a Middle Eastern man, he likes me a lot and want to move to the next level... but they started becoming possessive, jealous, controlling and insecure. Being a moderate jealous is normal but there is a fine line between obsession and moderation.

They also start getting all insecure when they see I am independent, most of them can't even stand this word, they want a woman to be their slaves in a certain way... They are not proud of having an intelligent, educated and successful woman to be the future wife... They want someone who says "yes Dear for all their request"...

My question "Why men are frightened of independent women?"

By guest writer Sihem from Los Angeles.

- Arabic Culture & Woman

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  1. libangirrlll

    hey siham nice topic..lol
    well not all men are afraid of independent woman...they control them however some men are afraid of independent woman cause the woman may not care about them and just leave them behind..lol
    anyway yala peace

  1. MOI



  1. mina

    pfffffffff........MOI dont put ur hopes up, an independent woman is smart enough to know that she doesnt have to wash, clean after her husband!........either she hires someone else or the husband does it for himslef.

  1. nothing

    but it reminds me of Bashar el Shatty from Star Ac 1 in his relationship with Sofia lol. I don't know why...but this is the impression i got from him. oh wait i know...i think its because he once told her that he's gonna hit her w/ his shoe. oh yeah, thats it.

  1. Hatem

    the classic topic sihem :) sorry but what "independent women" mean for you ? Is that mean "intelligent, educated and successful woman" ... I'm not sure that's all...

    I've asked this question before and i'm asking it again : What does "women’s freedom" mean today? and what you mean by "independent women"?

  1. AL-ALRAJ7Y - JR


  1. Ahbal


    U need to look for the right men. Not all middle eastern men are like that... You want to know how the man thinks, just look at his mother. If she is an educated , independent woman, he wil more likely be happy with one similar. If his mom is an old fashioned (nothing wrong with that) then he will more likely want that.

    The key is the mother! Before you chose a wife or husband , meet their mother... Among many other factors, the mother and the family will give you a good idea...

    Watch out what you call "independence", if it si being able to have a career and be a responsible part of the family then more power to you. If "independence" means that you have million of male friends and you come home after midnight when you wish.. then you will have a hard tme finding an American guy that will tolerate you!

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Hatem and Ahbal!
    Thanks Ahbal for your advice...

    As far as independent women in my own perception is an intelligent , educated, and successful in her carreer without forgetting her culture and religion: As a muslim arabic woman we have obligations toward our husband...we cannot hide under "indepenent" to not fulfill them...
    Same for the husband he needs to take care of his wife, encourage her to be the best and support her decisions in her carreer not try to disourage her ...
    I met a an arabic man who told me " If one day I'll marry you my dream is to lock you, so no one can see you.." theses words scared me .... A woman needs to have her freedom to certian limit, not go out at night without her husband...but at least she deserves to be loved and trusted...she needs affection, and consideration..sopmetimes flowers don't hurt, or a gift, or even a surpise as a romantic dinner or trip......
    A man needs to know having an independent woman is a plus to him not a threat....

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles


    It's normal that your wife does things to you, same thing for you you need to do things for her as well. Some man work the same amount of time as their wife but when they get home, they go watch TV and start giving orders left and right asking their wife who is as tired as him to " Honey do this, get me this,...etc" A man need to be considerate..if his wife is already in the kitchen preaparing dinner try at least to get up and get the things you want......or help her set up the table...unless he has a maid...
    You don't expect her to work as many hours as you do, they come home cook and clean after your mess, hand you what you want and they expect her to sleep at the time you want her too....we are human not wonder woman...!!
    A good husband is the wife's best friend.

  1. leila

    well, I agree with Sihem, that women should be respected as human, be treated like a wife. For she has feelings and emotions too. An independent women would be an educated one with a good personality that impowers her to do her best at everything. NOt just be a wife, but she also could be a mother. ALso, a huband should be able to help around the hosue from time to time becasue he should be supportive of his wife and openminded. All am i saying is that a women should be education and independent becasue some men don't get control of them. Like in the past where they thought that women is a property of a men and that they think they can do whatever they want with her. A women should be educated becasue it makes her more aware of what is happening and knows what to do in times of divorce or a problem.
    thanks, and bye

  1. jazairia

    I have seen that many arab men don't like independent women because it makes THEM feel lower. U see, when a woman is successful, intelligent, smart, beautiful...etc she doesn't need her husband. He will feel useless and have nothing to gain over. And if the woman makes more money than them too, it makes them jealous or something. They feel like it is THEIR job to bring in the money, not the woman's- i have seen this with americans too. It is like this all over the world.

  1. Magda

    well sihem is another version of me
    i agree with everysingle word she said
    i dnt need to post anything coz what she says is exactly what i want seriously i've got the same opinion i face the same problem... i find it weird
    so next time sihem u post smth just write my name along with urs:)

  1. dina

    i dont understand you arabic women..i'm talking especially the one living in the west...why do you gals have to marry arabic men, why is it the obesession with them, it is not like all arabic men are killing themselves to marry arabic women..... alot of the successful men, either marry whites , or import girls from back home.

    many can convert for you..so why the whole fuss, having a wider choice of men is good!! dont even limit urself to one particular ethinicity!!

  1. lula

    I think its best to marry an arabic man who was raised in the U.S or Europe but is still Arab because they are then more outgoign and less jealous to an extent but all men get jealous of other men. Many men want a woman who is smart, beautiful, successful and is not dependent on him for everything but just dont be a feminist b.c that's what they hate..they wont treat u like a slave if u dont rush into anything and are honest with them from the beginning..

  1. Hatem

    Still didn't get any definition of what "Independant woman" is ...

    Sihem if the guy that told you that he'll "lock you" scared you, belive me it scared me too...lol

    Well, this is what "Independant woman" mean : It's a woman that can go out any time anywhere whithout the permission of her husband, its also a woman that can wear anything she likes, could have a boyfriend too and maybe invite him at home for dinner, Also her job is more important than her family ... She can loose her family but never her job !!

    Since you say "Independant", she's no more dependant to her family, neither her husband. While Muslim Woman depend on her family, and her family depend on her too.

    Ps : jazairia it's men's job to give money, women have more important responsabilities toward her family.

  1. Ahbal


    Don't limit yourself at all... Actually you forgot to explore the posibility of marrying monkeys and gorillas.. they will add to the choices you have. I say marry a monkey, I heard they make good husbands ;)

  1. dina

    ahbal lol

    a typical reactionary response from a typical REACtionary (again :D ) arab guy, is that why i can't stand you guys ..loooooool

  1. Smart

    I think some of those who are talking about the indepentant iether for man or women should take some courses in the western countries to know how does this go there belive me quys it is afull of hill men there take advantge of young girls through what they called dating or job hiring or what ever and then you see the girl dating so many men and when she grow old she found her self out of live and hope and by the way this is the same for male but women are most victims I lived there four years for my college study and I found how hill of independant they are in my neighbors in the compound I was living in most are old women left behind and even their sons and doughters left them and they are lonely no body taking care of them so what kind of indepndant we are looking for we should stick to our values matual respectable relation ship between all family members no need to be controlled by that or that only respection of values.

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Smart...Masha Allah very smart!!!!

    Hatem...you are giving us the negative side of independence or just put it that way...your own understanding of indepenent women. We are talking about a middle Eastern indepenent women...It means it's not part of her dictionnary going out without consulting her husband or bringing male friends to her home, nor leaving her kids....
    A middle Eastern independent woman is smart enought to take care of her husband and Kids wether she is Muslim or Christian....We are talking about a woman who has a strong personnality that her husband can count on her if God forbid something happens to him....Let me give you another true exemple that happened to me... One person I met, started talking to him...within one month he started harrassing me with questions during my work hours....what are you doing? where were you between 10 and 11 am you didn't pick up your phone I called 6 times...etc I felt I was talking with a police officer...and I told him that...next I was supposed to go to a wedding with my best girl friend's family to San Diego...He said if you spend the night don't talk to me anymore!! I was shoked...due I am going to my friend's wedding!!! He started raising his voice and told me you don't listen..you need to go my way.." A donkey when they direct him to get water he does it himself..." I started laughing and told him " My friend you need a donkey female to marry you..." and wished him good luck...

    We middle Eastern independent women wants, respect, love, attention, trust, and pampering...
    Our men will be the luckiest in earth because he will marry love, friendship, intelligence, good cook, clean, fun and even take care of finances...what do you guys want more than that????

  1. Hatem

    Since it depend on her family, husband, kids ... how you call her "independant" ??? Just use correct words, that's what I want to explain.

    Its like when you talk that Men and Women are "Equal" ? They don't have the same physionomy how come they should be "equal" ?

    "English" isn't using the correct words, its very very confusing ! and that's what make you ask such question. You want to say something, and you say something else completely different.

    You should know that there is ppl playing with words, even in dictionaries, their rules is to create such confusion. You can read the meaning of the word "philistine" in oxford dictionary, ... are they smart or we're blind ?

  1. Avalon

    indepentant does not mean we have to go over our values for both men and women and ofcourse not like estern or western countries the family is the core in our socity ,indepentant it means you practice your live without any violation of values otherwise, it is mislive as mention by smart post

  1. wild_il5aleej

    To Dina:

    ""many can convert for you..so why the whole fuss, having a wider choice of men is good!! dont even limit urself to one particular ethinicity!!""

    It doesn't always work..because it's like wa7id a9eel ma yitzawaj ila a9eela..fihamtay? itha il3ayla a9eela..ma tigdar ida5il ajnabi..itha u know what i mean..it's like that to many arabic or 5aleeji women and men :)

    o ba3dain 3an ilsubject..la 3adi mafeeha shay itha ilwomen independent..bas 3ala 7asab ilwa7id shino 3inda independent..ya3ni ilmara tig3ad it9eer slave 7agi..la yuba..3indaha sayara..she can go anytime she wants o itrid any time bas 3ad mo itbaali'3 o 3ala shar6 itgool wain bitroo7..:) that's all.

  1. dina

    i just think, east or west, there is not "independent" person at all, cause we all depend on other ppl in some way or another!

    and smart, u higlighted the collective (east) versus the individualistic (west) in ur post , which in my opinion is quite philosophical and TRUE. And those two cultures , both suffer extremes, and in my opinion , for eastern women, yes they do want collectivisim , however, but not as extreme, as that they forget their "self", so the answers of most females in here are quite true to what im thinking of!

    and wilid il khaeej, what do u mean "a9liya" and i dont know, and from where do u come up with this kind of terms. REligion does not prohibit arabs , especially arabic women marrying non-arabs, and does not prohibit if the guy is willing to convert, you are just an example of the secterianism that is found in thea arabic world and it marvels me, how arab men are carefree to marry whoever, whilst, we women can't. besides, in the gulf alot of men are married to ajnabiyat and western women, and i've read this story about this imarati family did not accept a pakistani groom to their daughter, but isn't he muslim like them?? why is there people racist like that? and isn't the 3inooseh rate the highest in the gulf area? so why is there people still like that?
    why not change and make other ppl happy!!

    however, i'm so pleased that i'm seeing many happy inter-marriage between arab womena and non arabs,
    And i'm speaking on the behalf of arab canadian women, we can't limit our choice, especially when we are a minority. and it makes me sad, when i see thirtysh something , beautiful arab women who are not married, due to their narrow minded parent's stipulation that the groom should be from their background, hell, some parents want from the same province and sect! that is plain B.S.

    so if you are an arab, and especially if you are living in the west, just dont keep thinkng of just arabic men, not that i'm saying arabic men are bad, but to have more choice!

    thank you!

  1. samie_jr

    Someone has to be the Boss !!!

  1. wild_il5aleej

    To Dina:

    ""and wilid il khaeej, what do u mean "a9liya" and i dont know, and from where do u come up with this kind of terms. REligion does not prohibit arabs , especially arabic women marrying non-arabs, and does not prohibit if the guy is willing to convert, you are just an example of the secterianism that is found in thea arabic world and it marvels me, how arab men are carefree to marry whoever, whilst, we women can't. besides, in the gulf alot of men are married to ajnabiyat and western women, and i've read this story about this imarati family did not accept a pakistani groom to their daughter, but isn't he muslim like them?? why is there people racist like that?""

    intay laish titkalimain gabil la tifhimeen 3adil? ana ma gilt ""a9liya"" gilt ""a9eela"".witha mo fahma shino ma3nat hal kilma 3ayal latrideen ay rad gabil latifhimeen.. o where did i say that religion prohibited arabic women from marrying arabic men?? i9ara7a it's better to marry someone from ur country..a7san nafs 3adatna o ta8leedna..nafs il lu'3a..wayid ashya2..bas it's not 7aram if u marry ajnabi..it's just better to not. o ba3dain 3an ilemarati family..no it's not racism..mn 7aghum..some families do not want to be mixed..mafeeha shay

  1. wild_il5aleej

    ""o where did i say that religion prohibited arabic women from marrying arabic men?? "" arabic men = not arabic men

  1. dina

    did u say its the family's right not wanting to have mix blood..........i thought it was the girl's right to choose her groom, NO wonders why women want to be more independent!

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Wild Al Khaleej!

    Dina is right..you Khaleejy won't allow marriages from different Arabic countries..you are racist....but what you guys do..have a cousin or a nieighbor as a wife and have a mistress Ajnabia in the other side and you talk about rights...an independent woman will never take your BS she is too smart to know her right....

  1. Sihem from LA
    Sihem from LA


    Are you still having hard time with "independent"!!! My philosophy is "Don't forget your religion and background and don't depend on any men ..meaning be educated and smart to be capable of have a financial freedom, intellectual freedom, ...you are capable dealing with worse situation alone..A man need to repect me, love me, trust me and pumper me...." He is still the head of the household, I won't say the women and men equal100% but the women's percentage close to the men's....

  1. Rose

    we arabs like to fight all the way even in small things independent so what the hill of that independent we are independent by natural we born dependent and gradualiiy we become independent when we reached certaine age so what is the big deal of that if you quys mean independent practicing sexuality and drinking the dam coholic and killing your mother and father and husband and wife so please go to hill

  1. wild_il5aleej

    dina o sihem:

    shoofaw 3ad..ana malait wana ashra7 likom..if u don't get it by now..3ayal kaifkum..o la ana ma3indi wala a7ad i9eerli ma5ith mn bara..bas mn il5aleej o likwait. o ana 7atan loa ba5ith mn bara..mara7 i5alooni ahli..leana they don't want to be mixed..o it's not a problem..there are many beautiful 5aleeji girls as well as men..fa mani shayif ilmushkilla ihnee..

    ba3dain 3an ilgirls..mayitzawijoan ajanib..cuz they will live in the boy's country and not all girls want that..ili tabi kaifha.

  1. Hatem

    Sihem nowadays we say something and don't mean it ... then we try to make others understand what we mean. Maybe coz i'm very bad in philosophy ? I never got a mark netter than 1/20 in philosophy in my hole life anyway :P

    We talk about white and we say black ... the idea persist and tomorrow white become black, Peace become war, freedom become slavery ...

    That's why there isn't "Independant" countries, even if they have "their official independancy" ! We still under the mercy of countries such france, usa, uk ....

    Tomorrow "United nations" (yerzikom fiha) will decide that "Woman should have its independancy ... and blablabla". And all our countries will vote "yes". You'll be forced to forget your religion and enjoy your life, the way they like !

    Only god knows who will go to "hill" :P

    by the way I prefer to call it "contemporary woman" or "modern woman" and forget that mens are the ennemy. God didnt create us for that : "And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone)" (Adh-Dhariyat 56).

  1. dina

    being an "indepenent" women does not mean she will be against religion, probably against culture , especialy that culture had a huge impact on religion, EX. when Honour Killing (sanctioned in many arabic legal codes) had an islamic basis???

    i would say there should be a revival of what we should call 3adat wa ta8aleed, and they should be realized that they are exclusive from religion and should have a new interpretation and justice should prevail!!

    Hatem, the reason why slavery became freedom nowdays, it is not REALY of the Value of Such concept and its prognosis, but BEcause of the IGnorance of the PPl and their naivity........never underestimate ignorance my friend. and be sure, if men and women were good with each other non would have complained about each other........i think what we are talking about right now, it is a step forward, we are communicating, prettty good!

    wa shukran

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Hatem! you do have a problem buddy!! you still have problems getting it....Men and women shouldn't be enemies...and the key is communication!! that's why we are talking now. I don't understand why you have a problem with "independent women" or the word independent...why are you trying to change it?
    We are intelligent women that still follow religion and arabic values, we take care of ourselves and we want to take common decisions with our men. How hard is that to be understood???? I guess you are just a sample of all the middle Eastern men who don't want to accept the word "independence"....

  1. Randa

    im a very independent girl and i hate 2 be bossed around and told what 2 do. hatem, independence and freedom r so closely linked 2gether;if only the muslim arabs would truly live up 2 the quran, then no sexism would ever exist and the Westerners would not have been given the opportunity 2 say that Islam chains women with manacles because that is anything and everything but the truth. actually shiem, wil el khaleej is right..i live in jeddah and my teachers who are British, Scottish, American, Indian, and from so many more nationalities are married 2 Saudis.there is so much racism in jeddah but this is the sorrowfull case all over the world. in my opnion, men need 2 respect that women can be as good as they are in the same fields whether in life or educational, and it is then that i can respect that guy.only then. independence is a virtue...not a curse.

  1. Hatem

    Sihem I'm not talking about myself, I don't have any problem. Read again what I've said ...

    I do believe that there is many wrong definitions, but its up to you to discuss that and accept it or no. If we're talking about "communication".

    I do belive also that "muslim woman" have more values than the "common words" and the "new slogans" that the occident want them to defend.

    Maybe the US have give Women the rights to vote 100 years ago, but Quraan gave Women Voting rights almost 1400 years ago.

    "...if only the muslim arabs would truly live up 2 the quran..." : Thank you Randa, that's all what we miss...

  1. Randa

    hatem : im so glad u actually agree with me coz wenever i say that , i get the " and ur living up2 it from every angle, yes?! " and those ppl. don't even do so...not one bit!

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    I give you credit hattem for what you said...I wish Muslim follow what in the Quran and treat women like they deserve....

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles


    I give you credit for what you said...I wish Muslim follow what in the Quran and treat women like they deserve....

  1. wild_il5aleej

    sihem from los angeles:

    if every man in the 5aleej wants to marry syrians and lebanese and those countries, then why would u find many 5aleejis who don't? o sh3abalich intay kil wa7id ya5ithla thnain wala thalath...that proves u don't know anything about the 5aleej..akthar ilnas ya5thoon 1..ana ma7ad in my family ma5ith 2..bas wa7id leana his wife died..he married another woman..and thats not 2..o u still think that people marry from america..akthar ili yitzawijoan..7adhum nadmaneen..cuz mashakil it9eer..a7san shay ilwa7ed ya5ith banat blada..o u must know that not all 5aleejis want from lebanon and those countries..u only see those who do..o its normal..leana every country does that..even lebanese men marry americans and english..why do they marry then if they have lebanese women? o ashwa 3aylatna is still pure 5aleeji..o inshalla it never gets mixed..o thats my final word..if u wanna say ana mut5alif..say it..i really don't care..

  1. Randa

    wild el khaleeg....

    don't u think ur a bit over-reacting? i mean, y is it something 2 be proud of that ur family is pure "khaleegy" or something?! i admire ur patriotism but there r extents 2 that as well. im living in jeddah and im telling u that half of the saudi men marry americans and brits and well..foreigners in general . i think that this mixture of cultures is very admirable which is what made me a very open-minded person and for that i have jeddah 2 thank 4....and a few good clothes 2 !loool ! chill ppl. fall in love, marry if u like, and maintain ur individuality coz that's what makes u stand out 4 who u r...if ur independent than u might as well stay that away and 2 hell with every1 who thinks of u in a degrading manner. that's my philosophy in life.and it works. trust me!

  1. Sihem from Los Angeles
    Sihem from Los Angeles

    Randa! YOu are so right !!

    Wild Khaleej...I admire you guys to kill your feeling in order to not mix your blood!! How sad..please right in English I don't understands when you use latin alphabet to speak atrabic...



    I enjoyed reading the posts that you guys have written. I am an American woman of mixed race married to a Tunisian male. I am truly fascinated with the arabic culture and I am also envious of the moral standings and dedication that arabic women possess. I feel very blessed to be apart of such a remarkable group of people. Everyday I try to learn something new of the arabic woman's way of life and I incorporate what I have learned and know of the culture into my life and that way, my husband learns, my mother, my kids, and other family members. Here in America, the values and morals of the woman have been compromised over and over again for one reason or another. It saddens me. I speak for myself as well. I wish at times that the family bonds and relationships that the arabic culture tends to have was reflected on this side of the world. Family in the Arabic culture to me is really "FAMILY". Friends in the arabic culture to me is really "FRIENDSHIP". In America, those things take the back burner alot. I appreciate the opportunity you guys have given me to once again to hear different points of view on how you think and feel about arabic men and women.


  1. Diane

    Why are arab/muslim men so inhibited in their sexual relations with their wives? I am an American woman married to a Tunisian. I, along with several of my husbands friends wives have the same issue with our sexual relationships. Our men are selfish lovers and frankly have no clue how to please a woman, nor do they try. Is this cultural because they are taught sex is dirty. And why are they so fast to be done?

  1. WALEG

    Dear All,

    All your recent comments regarding Diane's question were moved to 'Arab Husbands & Sexual Relationships' Entry on our home page.

    Direct link to the new Entry:


  1. jawaher

    to hatem,
    regarding ur question "what independent women means"? the fact is really simple.
    if a person (woman, child, man, whatever) is FINANCIALLY dependent on another person (the husband, the father,....) then this woman will not have a complete freedom of her acts and decisions, will she??? becuase she doesn't earn her living. the same thing with kids who have to obey thier father and follow his rules whether they are fair or not. whether they like it or not.
    Now if this woman is working, no one in this wide world can tell her what to do! no man can tell her to cook or clean unless SHE wants to do so.
    most men begin to realize that women don't depend on them as before, that's why they feel insecure.
    so, for all the men out there, u better do ur washing and cooking urselves or i'm afraid no woman nowadays would accept to have an extra burden upon her shoulders in raising a selfish, lazy and disrespectful big child.

  1. latifa

    any 1 thought dat arab guys cud jus b marryin arab/muslim girl who lives in western countries so dat they cud move there..i mean sum of u seem determind to marry arab guy..i am too caz i live in england and know how much tunisians r desbrate to go 2 france..etc. so its hard i mean how do u no if someone loves u or ur country??
    i prefer to have a husband who protects me, has the income, and to be strict with me..bt i still want to have a gud income too, i guess im more traditional :)

  1. Pamela Boucher
    Pamela Boucher

    to me middle eastern men hate women. that is there culture. they just want the women in bed, which is not right at all. they are too pushy also. I dated one for a couple of times and told him he had to leave because all he wanted was sex only. Just telling you middle eastern men, we are human also and we don't want to be tweated like your slave. From Pam

  1. kim

    There is good and bad in any place, some persons dont take the time and effort to watch and listen and understand each and everyones feelings, what might be good for you might not be for the next guys, arab culture is set high goals they worry about how things are done and if they still will be respected, the culture is interesting and really not that much different than some others, sometimes people dont want to learn and understand this culture, a visit to the middle east is very helpful, the people are very loving and heart broken, they sometimes feel rejected from other countries but honestley they are wonderful people, Im married to a arab, he works so hard for his fanmily and is the most loving man in the world and my sister n laws are such nice people I just wont to cry, my mother n law only speaks one word of english, but you know she loves me and we cannot even talk but you know I TOOK my time ask questions studied about the culture and now I UNDERSTAND this culture probably more than they do, muslims are wonderful persons they have hard hard lives alot of the countries they are starving to death, with all the evil in this world dont blame it on Muslims I BLAME it on unedcated people, LETS PRAY FOR WORLD PEACE, GOD MADE ALL OF US, I KNOW THIS ISNT WHAT HE WANTS, GOD BLESS EVERYONE, NEXT TIME you want to understand arab culture buy yourself a ticket to Jordan go visit the holy land look around talk to them look at there faces from the stress and worry and you will find a passion for love and hope you will not find in america Thank You for your time and good night

  1. Mariam

    Never marry a muslim guy in his country...bring him to canada and marry him here under canadian law. If a muslim guy fears an independant woman, don't marry him. Don't let him fool you in to thinking that love conquers all because it doesn't. If you find your husband is abusive, leave him quickly before you have kids and find someone better for you, who will not send you to a mental institution. If your husband turns on you the movie "not without my daughter" is true. You can never go there alone with your child in fear of kidnapping, and if you go there with your husband, you should have fear the laws support him not letting your child leave. Its better to marry a reverted muslim where their faith is refreshed and re-remembered, and re-learned. If a muslim guy doesn't do his duty to Islam, no pray, no go to friday jumu3a, thinkings everyone is stupid and dumb and can't do anything right, and prays rarely ontime, and grew up in an abusive home...despite his good looks don't let him trap you! Be warned ..as God is all seeing and all knowing.

  1. victor

    dear sihem
    I need to know what the word independent means?because if u have a man that means he shares everything with u and u share everything with with him and my friend if u still insist that u are independent u don't know what sharing is!

  1. victor

    dear sihem
    I need to know what the word independent means?because if u have a man that means he shares everything with u and u share everything with with him and my friend if u still insist that u are independent u don't know what sharing is!

  1. Marium

    Assalam. The foundation of the perfect home start with living by what Allah says. The perfect home is carried out by the value system of islam. Women are needed at Home there children and there working hubbys need them to care for that . Respect for each other and ur part in life is a big plus . Im an american women im married to a loving moslim. My job is at home and I honor islam and it value system. if you met ur hubby marry him and he doesn't Pray and you chose a man that doesnt embrace islam then that what you get in your cracker jack box same with any culture . If your foundation is solid ( Allah)!! you can expect Good. Who said life was fair be grateful for what Allah gives you. Alhamduillah Pray n Pray .

  1. Ahmad

    well i have a wife and she wants to be more independant but i feel she willbe to independant and leave me

  1. Kima

    I'm muslim american. I married a Tunisian men 5 years ago and I basically lived in hell. I have to agree with those of you married to Tunisian men they are selfish and are terrible in many things.

    I'm an independant women,professional and the differences b/w us is huge, although he insist he has college and is superior. Hell if college make someone superior to me, then I'll be darn why he isn't making the same income I make and don't know anything about computers.

    Also don't be blinded by praying men. Praying is not everything in Islam. There are core values that even men who pray don't follow and that's a problem.

    When I decided to marry, I wanted something forever, but that is a dream. It's rare to find a middle eastern men with dreams of being better, no goals in life, treat women like dirt bags even when carrying their child.. What can I say.. as a muslim now with 2 kids and almost 100% divorce I'm not sure if there is good middle eastern man around.

    Also the arab culture makes things hard on divorce women with children, because men are louring at beauty not a smart or independant women. The options given to divorce muslim women are be 2nd wife, married an older guy your dads age or marry a young men who want u for papers...

    It is unfortunate but many middle easter men look at american women for papers... shame on you ...

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